An exit to escape is all there is left to find.
My room is such a mess. Ugh it's so annoying. I have this tendency of just throwing my clothes on the floor after wearing them. And since I don't have many I pretty much just pick up the first hoodie on the top of the pile and wear it. Ha. I literally need to spend one whole day (or maybe weekend) just completely cleaning, re-organizing, hanging things up, etc...
BUT that won't be happening this weekend becauseeeeee it's my 21st birthday on Sunday! I seriously can NOT believe it. And I am really excited. I don't even really know why. I'm not a big drinker, so it's not like that is the reason. Maybe it's the gambling thing. Lol. Just kidding.. kinda. I guess it's just a milestone age to me. Haha. I think the weekend shall be fun though... I'm a bit nervous, but it will be okay.
Today I made the decision that I should stop acting like a "moron". You know you can sit & watch your friends go through things and be able to see what they are doing wrong.. and you can give them advice to stop.. and tell yourself you would never be like them.... but then you go and put yourself in the same situation. And it just makes no sense. Lol. I feel stupid because I KNOW I'm being stupid. I really just wish I could say everything I want.. get it all out. I would feel much better, I think. Closure, maybe? I just need to take Mandy's advice and "look out for #1"... Me. I don't do that very often.. which is apparent considering what I've been doing. But I'm letting myself get more hurt by continuing.. sooo I'm done being a moron. Now I just have to stay strong. :)
I seriously sometimes rehearse all the things I'd like to say to people. And it always sounds so good... and then I just don't say it, or sound like an idiot trying to say it & it ends up making no sense. Lol.
Smootsies & I were just chatting about how we feel "blah" right now. And she said she wants to get away. I do too. I think I need a getaway.. not even like a elaborate, busy vacation... just for a calm, relaxing weekend. I wish I had a cabin up north. I would go by myself. That sounds really nice right now.
I'm just kinda rambling now..... I used to broadcast when I updated my LJ (link in the profile or whatev) but I think I'm just going to update for my own sake now... and if someone stumbles across, then fine. Comment! Haha.
BUT that won't be happening this weekend becauseeeeee it's my 21st birthday on Sunday! I seriously can NOT believe it. And I am really excited. I don't even really know why. I'm not a big drinker, so it's not like that is the reason. Maybe it's the gambling thing. Lol. Just kidding.. kinda. I guess it's just a milestone age to me. Haha. I think the weekend shall be fun though... I'm a bit nervous, but it will be okay.
Today I made the decision that I should stop acting like a "moron". You know you can sit & watch your friends go through things and be able to see what they are doing wrong.. and you can give them advice to stop.. and tell yourself you would never be like them.... but then you go and put yourself in the same situation. And it just makes no sense. Lol. I feel stupid because I KNOW I'm being stupid. I really just wish I could say everything I want.. get it all out. I would feel much better, I think. Closure, maybe? I just need to take Mandy's advice and "look out for #1"... Me. I don't do that very often.. which is apparent considering what I've been doing. But I'm letting myself get more hurt by continuing.. sooo I'm done being a moron. Now I just have to stay strong. :)
I seriously sometimes rehearse all the things I'd like to say to people. And it always sounds so good... and then I just don't say it, or sound like an idiot trying to say it & it ends up making no sense. Lol.
Smootsies & I were just chatting about how we feel "blah" right now. And she said she wants to get away. I do too. I think I need a getaway.. not even like a elaborate, busy vacation... just for a calm, relaxing weekend. I wish I had a cabin up north. I would go by myself. That sounds really nice right now.
I'm just kinda rambling now..... I used to broadcast when I updated my LJ (link in the profile or whatev) but I think I'm just going to update for my own sake now... and if someone stumbles across, then fine. Comment! Haha.