(no subject)
I have no idea why, but for some reason I slept till 5 PM and I'm STILL tired. My parents apparently tried to wake me twice so I could go to my first Anxiety class but it just didn't work. I guess my body's saying "Hey, bitch, take care of me! I need sleep!" cause I don't get a whole lot of it most the time.
So I woke up at five and was in a terrible mood. I so wanted to hurt myself but the cats just would not leave me alone and I can't do stuff when someone's watching so I didn't, which I'm glad for. I don't really like that I self harm, it's definitely not something I'm proud of, but that doesn't change that it's an addiction I can't seem to get rid of. I need to talk to my psych about DBT AND GET HIM TO ACTUALLY SET ME UP FOR IT. Douche said he was going to like a month ago, but he still hasn't. I need a new one, I don't like my psychiatrist and can't talk to him. It's like, I sit there for the twenty minutes the appointment takes and barely say anything because he just makes me feel weird and judged and I can't talk when I feel like that.
Buuut anyways, then Nikki texted mid bad mood which helped it exponentially. For those of you new to being my friendly on this thing, Nikki is the AMAZING girlfriend who I will probably mention quite a bit in this thing just because she's a big part of my life even if she's so far away from me. So still in a bad mood, but a somewhat happier one with good stuff happening because I was actually talking to her I moved on from the urge to cause physical damage to myself.
Then to improve my mood even more! Nikki got home and on aim and as we were talking my lovely rp charrie in the comm I'm in got accepted into all the different comms it's supposed to be accepted in before getting approved which made me go *squee* because I've been debating asking for this character for a couple months now. So I'll finally get to play with the lovely and be all happy with that and shit.
Yes, I know, lame that a game improved my mood completely and made me happy but I don't fuckin care. I love it and I love my new character and I can't wait to get started playing her.
So now I plan to spend the night talking to Nikki, hopefully playing online, and trying to get to sleep before 6 AM. And I pray to God that nothing sets me off so I can keep this good mood.
So I woke up at five and was in a terrible mood. I so wanted to hurt myself but the cats just would not leave me alone and I can't do stuff when someone's watching so I didn't, which I'm glad for. I don't really like that I self harm, it's definitely not something I'm proud of, but that doesn't change that it's an addiction I can't seem to get rid of. I need to talk to my psych about DBT AND GET HIM TO ACTUALLY SET ME UP FOR IT. Douche said he was going to like a month ago, but he still hasn't. I need a new one, I don't like my psychiatrist and can't talk to him. It's like, I sit there for the twenty minutes the appointment takes and barely say anything because he just makes me feel weird and judged and I can't talk when I feel like that.
Buuut anyways, then Nikki texted mid bad mood which helped it exponentially. For those of you new to being my friendly on this thing, Nikki is the AMAZING girlfriend who I will probably mention quite a bit in this thing just because she's a big part of my life even if she's so far away from me. So still in a bad mood, but a somewhat happier one with good stuff happening because I was actually talking to her I moved on from the urge to cause physical damage to myself.
Then to improve my mood even more! Nikki got home and on aim and as we were talking my lovely rp charrie in the comm I'm in got accepted into all the different comms it's supposed to be accepted in before getting approved which made me go *squee* because I've been debating asking for this character for a couple months now. So I'll finally get to play with the lovely and be all happy with that and shit.
Yes, I know, lame that a game improved my mood completely and made me happy but I don't fuckin care. I love it and I love my new character and I can't wait to get started playing her.
So now I plan to spend the night talking to Nikki, hopefully playing online, and trying to get to sleep before 6 AM. And I pray to God that nothing sets me off so I can keep this good mood.