Complete!

[sawanai]

Title: Backing to the cliff's edge
Characters: Hisoka, open
Location: outside, then Belldandy's room
Rating: PG-13. Angst, suicide attempt
Summary: Keep him from freezing to death
Day/Time: 70, afternoon

Comments

[sci_fi_horror]

Dani liked the cold. To a degree, anyway. After spending ten months on her own in Russia, she was quite used to it. Even after two months in Malaise, it hadn't seem to change much. She had to wear a bit more clothing than before, but other than that, she found the cold refreshing

[sawanai]

His fingers and toes had tingled at first, then became painful and were now starting to go numb, along with his lips and nose. Hisoka's body shivered hard, trying to warm him up to a proper temperature, but the shaking stopped after a few minutes. The colder he felt, the bigger the image of a giant hourglass, sand running out, appeared in his mind. Did this mean his time was up?

Relief at death's approach mixed with Hisoka's survival instinct. But by now, his clothes had frozen and he couldn't really move. His closed eyelids fluttered when the snow covering him moved away and something - someone? - bumped into him. The sound of a girl's voice startled him and made him open his eyes.

Although he couldn't feel his lips to speak, he could still shake his head when she tried to drag him. He wanted to be left out here. He was so close to not hurting or being a nuisance to everyone anymore! Hisoka dug his heels into the ground weakly and started to cry. The tears melted the snow and ice crystals on his face.

[sci_fi_horror]

"Hey, stop moving! You're making this hard!" Dani snapped, still dragging the boy over to the entrance into the building. "At least you're not that much bigger than me or this would be really hard." She muttered, pulling him up to wrap an arm around his chest so she could move one hand to open the door and pull him in. "HEY! I NEED HELP HERE!" Dani shouted. "THIS KID IS HALF FROZEN!"

[sawanai]

Making it hard for her was the point. Hisoka kept struggling as best he could, despite barely having sensation in his body. The warmth from the strange girl's hand felt like burning against his chest, forcing him to cry harder. Couldn't she see he wanted to die?! His leg chose that moment to go weak again.

He slipped through her grip, couldn't catch himself in time, and landed on the snow again. The cold would take everything away. He'd been so close! Big green eyes closed tightly as exasperated tears fell.

[sci_fi_horror]

Dani kept the door open and pulled Hisoka through. "It'll be fine, all right? Just hang on." She said. "HELP!" She shouted.

Belldandy happened to just be walking by when she stopped and looked over, taking a few moments to register the sight. "Dani! Hisoka-kun!" Belldandy cried, rushing over and kneeling to look at Hisoka. "Oh dear..." She murmured and pulled a key from her pocket and handed it to Dani before taking Hisoka into her arms. "Go run a warm, not hot, warm bath in my room. I'll get him some blankets to warm up his temperature." She said.

"Yes!" Dani answered and ran off as Belldandy rushed to a linen closet to get Hisoka in some blankets. Maybe a nurse saw and would get a doctor, but right now, Hisoka needed warmth.

[sawanai]

Weakly, he forced himself to whisper, "I don't want to hang on! Why do you think I was out there?" Maybe it would startle her, get her to drop him so he could go back outside to meet oblivion. Hisoka swore when she actually got him through the door. Inside, they would thaw him out and be completely unable to understand why he'd wanted to freeze.

The next voice he heard did nothing to help him. He'd told Belldandy yesterday that he wouldn't kill himself and now she had to be the first person to see him. Just wonderful. He slumped down, too weak to support himself, and felt snow start to drip off his clothes and body now that they were inside the warmth of the asylum.

He didn't react when a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and kept his eyes closed as he heard nurses trying to find an available doctor. The first hints of warmth trying to return to him made his nerves feel like they'd been rubbed with sandpaper while an icicle felt stuck in his heart.

[presentkindness]

Dani heard him, but refused to acknowledge it. Unfortunately, she couldn't just let someone die in front of her like that. It just...wouldn't be allowed in her head. Which was why she worked on making a warm bath. A hot one would be too much of a shock, so she made sure it wouldn't be too hot.

Belldandy worked on rubbing warmth into Hisoka's body as she carried him, telling the nurses she was going to get him into a warm bath and to send the doctor to her room when they could. She looked at him as she hurried through the walls. "It'll be all right, Hisoka-kun." Belldandy whispered. "Just hang on, okay?"

[sawanai]

Hisoka winced when she started to run him. Even under normal conditions, that sort of touch would be awkward or painful for him. His current state made it hurt even more. "I don't want to hang on. Stop rubbing me like that, it's only hurting me!" He couldn't speak in much above a whisper, but he hoped his annoyance carried through. This had been a failure even after he thought he'd been as careful as possible.

"It's not going to be all right." He started to shiver hard and hated that his body wanted him to get warm again. Hisoka's teeth chattered.

[presentkindness]

"You need to warm up, Hisoka-kun. I'm sorry." Belldandy whispered in a reassuring, motherly voice. "It'll be okay." She said, walking into her room and closing the door behind her. She could hear the water running. "I need to get you out of those wet clothes, Hisoka-kun. I promise you, I won't do anything bad." Belldandy whispered, setting him down on the couch and moving away the blanket, reaching to take off his clothes.

[sawanai]

"Don't know how she found me. I buried myself so people couldn't see my clothes." Her reassurance did nothing to calm him down. All he could think about was his failure. Now he'd have even more people looking at him weird. Everyone here was bound to hear about his attempt to die. Hisoka didn't move when Belldandy tugged his shirt off, but he closed his eyes tightly. He wouldn't see the look on her face when she realized just how extensive the scars were. The ones on his chest were more raised than his arms, and they obviously continued below his waist.

[presentkindness]

Belldandy didn't know where the scars came from and only paused a moment at them. Being from her own family, she was used to strange markings. While none had been this extensive, it didn't concern her all that much as she removed the rest of his clothes. She was more concerned for his health, grabbing another blanket she had in the room, as some patients found it comforting, and wrapped that around Hisoka to try and warm up his limbs some more before putting him in the bath.

[sawanai]

He opened his eyes for a moment and looked directly at Belldandy. "This is what that man did to me. Even if I could get used to thinking about it, I still have to see his marks every single day of my life." His legs were similarly marked; the only places on Hisoka's lower body left untouched were his feet and skin between his legs and on his rear.

As he kept shivering, he suddenly felt very thirsty, but wouldn't ask for a drink. If his insides stayed cold, maybe he could still die from not being warmed up properly.

[presentkindness]

"The path is done." Dani said, poking her head from the bathroom.

"Good. Make some tea. Just flip the switch on the coffee pot." Belldandy said, pointing to the coffee pot.

Dani nodded and followed instruction.

"Marks can be removed, Hisoka-kun." Belldandy said in a soft voice. "Marks can be brought back and removed. You can't. There's only one you."

[sawanai]

"I don't want there to be a me! I'm a waste of everyone's time and energy. There's no point in still breathing. There's nothing I'm useful for!" He sobbed harder and thought about standing up to run out, but he could still barely feel his legs.

"All I do is make things more complicated for everyone I meet. Yuuko and Zack would be better off if they'd never met me." Hisoka wasn't being rational, nor was he trying to be. All he could do right now is say everything going through his head and try to convince her he should be dead.

[presentkindness]

Belldandy opened her mouth to try and convince Hisoka otherwise, but Dani beat her to the punch.

"Yuuko is happier now! I've never seen Yuuko be so emotional and open!" Dani said. This had to be that Hisoka, after all. "Before she'd end up smiling and everything, but it always seemed...weird. But you...you changed that." Dani said, looking at Hisoka. "Besides, it's their choice to think you're a waste, or not, don't you think?"

Belldandy looked at Dani and then at Hisoka and nodded. "When people value others, they have to set the value. If they believe you're worth it...then to them, it's worth it."