Complete!
Title: Backing to the cliff's edge
Characters: Hisoka, open
Location: outside, then Belldandy's room
Rating: PG-13. Angst, suicide attempt
Summary: Keep him from freezing to death
Day/Time: 70, afternoon
Dr. Cox was gone. Hisoka couldn't find him anywhere, so he'd asked one of the nurses and learned that he'd left without saying a word. After he'd heard that, the teen's legs had given out. He sat on the floor by the nurse's station and cried for a long while. When he stood up, his right leg took a moment to feel fully steady.
Cox was gone, he didn't think he'd ever be able to work enough to pay Yuuko's price if she even was what she claimed, Zack was still a complete wreck, and his nightmares hadn't gone away. He wiped his face off with the backs of his hands. Why had he even come back? Nothing had gone right, nothing felt right now that one of his rocks, one of the reasons he'd told himself to stay alive, had vanished as if he'd never promised anything to Hisoka, as if he hadn't done all he could to help.
What point was there in keeping the promise to live? He wondered that as he found a quiet place to cry again. Hisoka's hands shook as he breathed faster. Cox hadn't cared enough to stay, so why would everyone else keep caring about him? He would just hurt them, push them away like he'd done to Yuuko when she'd been worried about him last time. It would be easier, for him and everyone else, if he died. They would have no more reason to worry, or to get upset that they couldn't help him properly.
But in this place, it took several teary minutes to decide on how. He didn't have any more spare sleeping pills, and he remembered too well how it had felt to struggle for air when he'd tried to hang himself. The thought of anything bloody, like Tsuzuki had chosen, only briefly danced in his mind. Hisoka hurt enough, he didn't want to die in more pain. They were in a cold place, though, and he wasn't seen as an escape risk, so he was allowed outside. And if he were wet, he would get colder faster.
Hisoka found an empty gallon jug near the cafeteria, filled it with icy tap water, and signed the book saying both his name and when he'd stepped outside. He didn't want to come back in. One of the nurses looked at the jug of water funny, yet she didn't ask him about it as he tugged the door open and began walking quickly to the far side of a snow dune.
His hands shook so hard that he could barely pull off his coat, hat, and gloves. There would be no more need for those warmth-giving tools. Hisoka's head whipped around as he thought he saw a flash of dark hair, but there was nobody there. Cold wind whipped against him and made him shiver, but he refused to back out of this plan. The teen took slow breaths as he started to pour the water on himself. Deliberately, he soaked as much of his hair and clothes as possible. Each wet inch of fabric glued itself to his skin, already threatening to freeze.
With that done, he lay down in the snowbank and pulled white fluff on top of himself even as his fingers began to stiffen up and he swore he could feel his lips turn blue. Hisoka felt only slightly reassured by the thought that he'd read that intense hypothermia made people feel warm again just before death claimed them.
He closed his eyes, whispered a hope that he'd stop hurting soon, and closed his eyes.
[OOC: If anyone wants to give feedback on my writing, I'd appreciate it.]
Characters: Hisoka, open
Location: outside, then Belldandy's room
Rating: PG-13. Angst, suicide attempt
Summary: Keep him from freezing to death
Day/Time: 70, afternoon
Dr. Cox was gone. Hisoka couldn't find him anywhere, so he'd asked one of the nurses and learned that he'd left without saying a word. After he'd heard that, the teen's legs had given out. He sat on the floor by the nurse's station and cried for a long while. When he stood up, his right leg took a moment to feel fully steady.
Cox was gone, he didn't think he'd ever be able to work enough to pay Yuuko's price if she even was what she claimed, Zack was still a complete wreck, and his nightmares hadn't gone away. He wiped his face off with the backs of his hands. Why had he even come back? Nothing had gone right, nothing felt right now that one of his rocks, one of the reasons he'd told himself to stay alive, had vanished as if he'd never promised anything to Hisoka, as if he hadn't done all he could to help.
What point was there in keeping the promise to live? He wondered that as he found a quiet place to cry again. Hisoka's hands shook as he breathed faster. Cox hadn't cared enough to stay, so why would everyone else keep caring about him? He would just hurt them, push them away like he'd done to Yuuko when she'd been worried about him last time. It would be easier, for him and everyone else, if he died. They would have no more reason to worry, or to get upset that they couldn't help him properly.
But in this place, it took several teary minutes to decide on how. He didn't have any more spare sleeping pills, and he remembered too well how it had felt to struggle for air when he'd tried to hang himself. The thought of anything bloody, like Tsuzuki had chosen, only briefly danced in his mind. Hisoka hurt enough, he didn't want to die in more pain. They were in a cold place, though, and he wasn't seen as an escape risk, so he was allowed outside. And if he were wet, he would get colder faster.
Hisoka found an empty gallon jug near the cafeteria, filled it with icy tap water, and signed the book saying both his name and when he'd stepped outside. He didn't want to come back in. One of the nurses looked at the jug of water funny, yet she didn't ask him about it as he tugged the door open and began walking quickly to the far side of a snow dune.
His hands shook so hard that he could barely pull off his coat, hat, and gloves. There would be no more need for those warmth-giving tools. Hisoka's head whipped around as he thought he saw a flash of dark hair, but there was nobody there. Cold wind whipped against him and made him shiver, but he refused to back out of this plan. The teen took slow breaths as he started to pour the water on himself. Deliberately, he soaked as much of his hair and clothes as possible. Each wet inch of fabric glued itself to his skin, already threatening to freeze.
With that done, he lay down in the snowbank and pulled white fluff on top of himself even as his fingers began to stiffen up and he swore he could feel his lips turn blue. Hisoka felt only slightly reassured by the thought that he'd read that intense hypothermia made people feel warm again just before death claimed them.
He closed his eyes, whispered a hope that he'd stop hurting soon, and closed his eyes.
[OOC: If anyone wants to give feedback on my writing, I'd appreciate it.]