The A Team
For biscuitbaby because she'll find this as amusing as I do.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Mr T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
23. That's the number of fools Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.
Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
Mr. T once travelled back in time in a telephone booth similar to the one in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and killed every Jester and Joker in every King's court, because he pitied those fools.
Mr. T's mohawk is so scared of Mr. T, that it started running to his beard for help.
Mr. T's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he pitied.
Mr. T wasn't afraid of flying on the A-Team, he just faked it so a "nigga could get paid"
Mr. T invented the Civil Rights movement
Everytime an angel sings, Mr. T pities a fool
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Mr T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
23. That's the number of fools Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.
Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
Mr. T once travelled back in time in a telephone booth similar to the one in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and killed every Jester and Joker in every King's court, because he pitied those fools.
Mr. T's mohawk is so scared of Mr. T, that it started running to his beard for help.
Mr. T's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he pitied.
Mr. T wasn't afraid of flying on the A-Team, he just faked it so a "nigga could get paid"
Mr. T invented the Civil Rights movement
Everytime an angel sings, Mr. T pities a fool