When there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire

[prodigal_slayer]

After Wes left to go do whatever it was he was gonna do, I curled up underneath the scratchy comforter. The glow of the television cast shadows around the room and I couldn't but feel a little comforted. Nothin' like a trashy dive of a motel room to make a girl feel right at home. I wasn't even sure what was on TV, some old Western. Man, why couldn

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[prodigal_slayer]

"No. You didn't....you were here." I frowned at him, one hand going to my head. Man, that fucking hurt! Did he hit me over the head or something? I couldn't remember. He was here and he was...actin' really fucking weird and then...nothing. Nothing cause I got knocked out but there was a reason. My head hurt way too much to think right now. Wes said he'd come back from talkin' to Giles and found me crumpled up on the floor.

No. No. No. That wasn't what happened. Cause I remembered, I remembered talking to him and he told me that Giles wished that the bringers had killed me. He asked if I agreed with Giles and it pissed me off wicked bad. I remembered that now. He told me...asked me if I'd...do that to Buffy and her pals. Except I couldn't cause I was tryin' to prove how much I'd changed and he said I hadn't changed at all.

Suddenly I was very certain of one thing. Something was wrong. And Wesley was the one doing it to me.

Scrambling up from the bed so fast it made Wes take a step backward and my head pound something fierce I stood across the room from him.

"What did you do to me?!" I demanded angrily. Most of the reason I was across the room was cause I was kinda scared mixed with kinda confused. But also? I didn't wanna hit him. Why? I mean, I knew why. Cause it just wasn't me anymore and last time...I'd tried to hit him and I'd smacked into the wall. That was how I got knocked out.

"This is you! You were here a little while ago, you were here." I repeated for both of our sakes. Wes was givin' me a look like 'what the hell?' and I was just rambling and confused and fuck, was I goin' nutty? "What did you do to me?" I asked in a quieter voice, gaze locked onto his.

[watcher_pryce]

I was... What? I was here? When? I wasn't here. What in the blazes is she going on about. She must really be loosing it. I didn't think a fall on the head would cause this though. Perhaps there was something else going on. Was she on drugs? Couldn't smell anything like that though, seemed like your normal annoying, stinking cigarettes to me. What was going on here.

I took a step back when she suddenly scrambled of the bed, looking like me like a dear caught in headlights. I'd never really understood that expression until now. I seriously doubt a deer would be able to look both confused and angry at the same time. And was that even a little fear I noticed there.

"What are you talking about, Faith? I came back from talking to Giles to find you here on the floor. I've not been here before. I've been over at Giles for at least the better part of the last two hours. If you want we can go over there and ask him?"

Bloody hell, something is very wrong here. And there's something nagging at the back of my mind, I just can't seem to put my finger on it. I hate it when that happens. Because the harder you try, the fast it will run off. And with Faith acting like this, how can I not try? I held up my hands to show her I wasn't holding any weapons while I walked over to her other side. It was like trying to reason with the caged, wild animal again.

"I didn't do anything to you, Faith. I think you may have been...halucinating?" I tried, picking my words carefully. "I mean, you thought you'd seen the mayor also. And Angel. And we both know that's impossible." What did those two have in common with me, that Faith would see them. Come on, Pryce, shouldn't be to hard to figure out.

[prodigal_slayer]

"Don't touch me!" I instantly shot out at him, quickly taking a few steps back and watching him like a hawk. I wasn't gonna let him take me off guard again. Hell no. I was stronger than him, and if I had to....no. I couldn't do that or anything like it cause I was different now. I couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't. He better just stay where he was cause I didn't wanna have to...do something.

"Hallucinating? Hallucinating?! Crazy people hallucinate and I am not crazy again. I remember crazy, I spent years gettin' uncrazy and I'm different now! I know you remember crazy too. Sharp, hot, blunt, loud and cold or maybe just sharp, hot and blunt because we never did get to the other two. Want to bring back the monster, set it loose on Buffy and her friends well I WONT DO IT!" Words were just spilling out of my lips faster than I could contain them or process them. Things were starting to fall into place now though. He was playin' games with me. Had been from the very start. Why was I so completely stupid?

"You think I'm stupid, just cause your smarter than me. You think you can play me? It's been you since the beginning. The Bringers, they attacked me when you showed up to visit me. You convinced me to come back here, and I've been seeing things. Angel, The Mayor and you were here! You were fucking here earlier! Maybe you're the crazy one, tryin' to screw with me. Get a little revenge, on me and Buffy and Giles. Gonna try and get me to take out Angel next? Stake him cause he tried to smother you with a pillow? You stole his kid, I'd smother you with a pillow too. Maybe I should."

I'd backed myself all the way into the wall now and he better not come any closer! I'd hurt him I swear I would.

[watcher_pryce]

I took a step back and looked at her with a few wide eyes of my own. That...stung. I've been trying my best to make up for my mistakes, even telling her I'd forgiven hers. But everytime I seem to get them flung right back in my face to slap me hard. The one who said let the past be the past? Should be strung up and left to be picked clean by the vultures.

And of course it all ended up with Angel. Everyone always took sides with Angel. I wondered if they'd taken his side as well if he'd ended up eating Connor. He'd even told me he saw the boy as a snack, his blood driving him wild. And I was suppose to ignore that? But I'd forgotten that Angel was a holy saint in everyone's eyes except Giles. So it would go without saying that I was the one who was wrong and completely evil. Did no one see how close to the surface his demon, Angelus, really was? How easily they forget, and how easy they forgive if one has the convenience of an evil alter ego. Who might not be so alter at all.

I was getting so tired of it. I was getting so tired of being made out to be the bad guy, the evil behind everything. Sod this.

"Yes, well. Why don't you go do that, Faith. Show me how much you've changed. I know I have, but obviously I shouldn't have bothered."

She's insane. That's what she is. Perhaps I should just knock her out and get Giles. She's obviously loosing it and I, more then anyone with the exception of possibly Buffy, know what she like then. Look at her, cowering in the corner. That's not normal. Tiredly, I rubbed my brow and sighed. I took a tentative step forward and frowned at her.

"Faith, do you really think I'm that powerful and have that much influence to do all of what you just accused me off?"

Don't I wish I had at times.

[prodigal_slayer]

It was that look. I tilted my chin up slightly and looked at him for a minute. He was genuinly hurt, that look cut me right to the fucking bone. He hadn't been like that earlier. He had no idea what I was talking about and sorry, no one was that good an actor. Now I just felt guilty for flippin' out on him. It was me. I was goin' crazy or...something was happening to me. Something....but what?

"Sorry." I said suddenly and automatically. Closing my eyes for a second I put my hand to my head, it still hurt wicked bad but the throbbing was getting better. I was really pissed off when I hit that wall. But what was pissing me off. Opening my eyes I studied the floor for a long minute. "My head....it just hurts...sorry."

Taking a deep breath I finally lifted my gaze to his. I was scaring him, I was scaring ME! What was going on? Something...something was happening and I couldn't fight it without knockin' myself out I guess.

Swallowing hard over the lump in my throat I finally took a step away from the wall wondering if he would flinch. I would if I was him. Maybe I should just leave.

[watcher_pryce]

Her sudden change in moods made me even more confused. I looked back at her as she stared at me. It was a regular staring contest. Apparently I won, because the next thing I got was an apology. I'm not sure if she meant it or not, but it sounded genuine. Then again, the accusations she just flung my way sounded very genuine as well.

I think it may be best if I'd call Giles and tell him that Faith isn't capable of fighting this...thing. This evil, that's roaming around here. Not until we figure what the hell is going on here. This isn't normal, this isn't how she was when I visited her in jail. This...This started when we got here. In Sunnydale.

"You should lay down," I said carefully, giving her a steady look as she stepped closer. I narrowed my eyes and they darted toward the bump on her head. She'd been really convinced that I was here before. And she'd gotten violent. I remember those two things combined, they are not very fond memories. "I'll go get you some aspirin or something."

[prodigal_slayer]

"Okay." I agreed reluctantly. Pulling my hand away from my head. Actually the wicked throbbing had mostly quieted to a dull ache now. Gotta love that whole slayer healing thing and I'd taken way worse smacks to the head before. They'd never made me see dead people. He was scared too, scared that I was crazy. I felt kinda crazy but not the way I remembered it. I didn't wanna hurt him, not again. But he had been here earlier and the things that he had said....they didn't make any sense at all.

I'd seen Angel and the Mayor too. What was the connection? I couldn't figure it out, unless you wanted to delve deep into that psycho prison therapist crap about father issues that they tried to shove down your throat. I didn't think that was what it was though. Something....it wasn't me. It wasn't. I knew it wasn't and I had seen them. I tried to hit him but....I hit the wall. How had that happened? Had he moved out of the way? I couldn't remember.

Walking past Wes slowly, tryin' not to make any sudden movement and freak him out. I got back into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. I'd taken my eyes off Wesley for like a second and suddenly he was back with a glass of water and some aspirin. That was quick. Too quick. Okay, now I was just flat out paranoid. I didnt' wanna be. I mean, he'd helped me when he didn't even have to. What more proof did I need that Wes was on my side?

"Thanks." I said quietly as I took the water and the pill from him. Popping it in my mouth I swallowed it down and set the water on the nightstand next to the bed. Wes still looked nervous, even though it looked like he was tryin' to hide it.

I wasn't hallucinating. I wasn't! But somehow I thought vehemently protesting that idea would be a bad idea right then and there.

[watcher_pryce]

I watched her closely as she moved to the bed. She was moving slow and deliberate, as though trying to show me she wasn't going to try anything, making certain not to make any sudden moves. And suddenly I felt like the caged wild animal which should be treated with caution.

Sighing, I waited for her to reach the bed and then walked over to the bathroom to get the aspirin and a glass of water. She seemed startled when I offered them to her. I wasn't sure if that was because she thought I was still trying to do something to her, or because she hadn't seen me coming or something entirely different.

Taking a step back, I nodded at her and as sudden as that the roles were reversed again. She we the wild animal and I was the one treating her with caution as not the scare her off. Things were switching and moving so fast it was hard to keep up. If that were at all possible to begin with.

"You're welcome," I said, regarding her through narrowed eyes. She was loosing it and something told me she knew. She wasn't going to admit it though. I was at loss at what to do. Talking to Giles about it almost felt as a form of betrayal. And really, I've had enough of that feeling for a life time already.

"Alright." I pushed my hands into my pockets, trying to appear non threatening. This was just...surreal. "I'll be in my room then if you need anything," I nodded toward the door. I inched toward it, quite ready to get out of her way for a while. I had a lot of thinking to do about what happened here, was happening to be more precise.

[prodigal_slayer]

"Okay." I didn't exactly wanna be alone right now, because when I was alone was when I saw stuff goin' on. Wanted him to stay, wanted to ask him to stay. But it occured to me that I still didn't trust him completely or at all and that I had no right to ask that of him. Besides, if he didn't leave I wasn't gonna be able to spit out the pill hiding under my tongue. Aspirin maybe, but I wasn't takin' any chances. If he was doin' something to me, I probably shouldn't take anything he gave to me. Felt bad doin' it, but it had to be done. He'd do the same thing in my place, I knew he would.

He turned around and nodded at me once before disappearing through the door. As soon as he was gone, I spit the pill out onto my hand and studied it. Looked like an aspirin to me, but who the hell could even tell.

Gettin' up slowly I walked into the bathroom and searched through my duffel until I found the bottle of aspirin that I knew was in there. Opening the cap of it, I dumped out a handful of pills into the palm of my hand. They were the same as the one he'd given me. He wasn't tryin' to drug me, he wasn't...I had no idea what he was doin' or what was goin' on.

"You know what you have to do, Faith." The voice from behind me said and I didn't have to turn around to see that it was Angel.

Hallucination or not, he was right. I knew what I had to do.