Update
Wow, I haven't written in here in so damn long. Nothing has really changed, except for the fact that John R. left on January 27 for Germany. He won't be back for 2 years. I'm still pretty sad about it all, he always made me feel good about myself. I've been trying to start up a friendship with Krista again, don't ask me why... because I honestly don't know either. We hung out with Scott and Cody a few times, before their grandpa died. I saw them tonight, since they're leaving back for Texas tomorrow. I'll miss them, but they have a better life there.
Speaking of Scott... we had a heartfelt talk tonight. He ACTUALLY said he's sorry for the way he treated me while we were going out. He said if he could take it all back and treat me right, he would. I was so very much shocked. I told him that I'll ALWAYS have feelings for him, but we need to move on b/c it'll never work. After all, he's in Texas and I'm here. If things would have been good in our relationship before, I'd consider getting back with him and taking things to the next level. But, I'm definitely not ready for that. I'm still in love with John.
It's a complete lost cause with John, though. I haven't see him or talked to him in a good three months. I miss him like the hell. I heard a rumor that he and Gaylia had a bad fight and broke up. In a sick and sad way, I hope that's true. I want him back, so bad. I miss the old John... the one who always made me laugh, even when things were so horrible. I love him, and I always will. There's no getting rid of my feelings for him. I don't want anyone else but him. I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life, looks like.
Speaking of Scott... we had a heartfelt talk tonight. He ACTUALLY said he's sorry for the way he treated me while we were going out. He said if he could take it all back and treat me right, he would. I was so very much shocked. I told him that I'll ALWAYS have feelings for him, but we need to move on b/c it'll never work. After all, he's in Texas and I'm here. If things would have been good in our relationship before, I'd consider getting back with him and taking things to the next level. But, I'm definitely not ready for that. I'm still in love with John.
It's a complete lost cause with John, though. I haven't see him or talked to him in a good three months. I miss him like the hell. I heard a rumor that he and Gaylia had a bad fight and broke up. In a sick and sad way, I hope that's true. I want him back, so bad. I miss the old John... the one who always made me laugh, even when things were so horrible. I love him, and I always will. There's no getting rid of my feelings for him. I don't want anyone else but him. I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life, looks like.