(no subject)
I feel no connection to anyone except my mom and lily. My mom I love her more than anything and then resent her, and lily she just depends on me and keeps me alive, bc I love her so much. Andrew I have to have sex with in order to get help around the house and secretly cringe with every movement and past trauma pops it's head up. . I am screaming for someone to slit my fucking throat but I just could ever leave lily she is everything to me. My light. I want to run away with her. Go where no one would ever find us if only.