i feel kinda embarassed posting this since everybody else's "fifty things" were like a line each, so don't feel obligated to read this whole monster of an entry.
wow. that was really beautiful. i enjoyed reading it very mcuh and i realte so much to some of what you said.
re: #2: while i deeply regret doing drugs, i will never forget that after my first experience with ecstasy, i was sitting at a stoplight, and the grass on the feeder road had gotten really long. the wind was blowing, and i saw the grass blow in the wind. i was so struck by how beautiful it was. i kid you not, it was the first time i had ever noticed how gorgeous that flowing motion was. it was like seeing the world for the first time. so, i regret the drugs, but not that moment, or the way that new perspective has stayed with me.
re: #4: i never was really even in to music until i discovered drum and bass in 1995. i mean, i'd listen to music and i owned a buch of cds, but once i found drum and bass i realized that i had not truly had a passion and love for music before. i still adore it, and i listen to music completely differently now because of my time djing, and listening to that stuff so intently.
re: #5: a tiny, transparent gecko go into my house a few years back. i wanted to get it out, but while i was trying, i accidentally killed it. i was heartbroken. and only since becoming a christian have i noticed how truly amazing insects are. they really reflect the glory of God.
re#6: i save old pennies for my dad. it's neat, because whenever i get change, i go through them for him looking for the right year (prior to '84), and i think of him and feel connnected to him.
#7: i still hate my body, and think that it will keep someone from truly loving me, but i've made progress. the progress is that i think the person inside the body is pretty awesome. :)
#11: happens to me too, but less now than it used to, thankfully. the problem is that my "helper" personality combines with a really nasty pride/fear that hides my own self to avoid being hurt. the Lord is really working on me in this area. nothing like depression/suicidal tendencies to make you reach out or die. and, yay, my friends did not let me down.
sort of regarding #16 and #10 and #23: i see God making this awesome change in me. i'm a peacemaker! i have this uncanny ability (which is totally from the Holy Spirit, cuz it can't be from me) to see someone's foul behavior and see that it happened because they were scared or hurting, etc. and to have grace/compassion on them. it's especially apparent if someone else comes to me and complains about that behavior. it's nuts, but i really like it. it feels like a part of Jesus' character, and makes it much easier to love and forgive them.
i could/want to say more, but it's late and i have to go to bed. i'm not so good lately on little sleep.
but, thanks for sharing this. i'm inspired to write one of my own. i know that we don'tknow one another well, but i appreciated this glimpse in. in the interest of getting to know one another better, i shared this stuff. i hope you don't see it as spam. :) if you do, that's cool. just let me know. :D
heh your comment is like a remix of my list, where you took the original post and added your own interpretation of it : )
- i never would have guessed you were a DJ, that was really cool to find out! what drum and bass bands were you into? i'm into IDM and noise and experimental electronic stuff, but i don't really venture into club-type music.
- i am pretty sure if i found a TINY TRANSPARENT GECKO in my house i would scream and run so fast that i'd break through a wall and leave one of those silhouette-shaped holes behind me. do you live on the moon? where in the world are transparent lizards a common occurrence? j/k, but seriously, i've accidentally killed things before too and it is soo heartbreaking :(
thanks for taking the time to read through that gigantic, self-obsessed entry and commenting ; )
re: #2: while i deeply regret doing drugs, i will never forget that after my first experience with ecstasy, i was sitting at a stoplight, and the grass on the feeder road had gotten really long. the wind was blowing, and i saw the grass blow in the wind. i was so struck by how beautiful it was. i kid you not, it was the first time i had ever noticed how gorgeous that flowing motion was. it was like seeing the world for the first time. so, i regret the drugs, but not that moment, or the way that new perspective has stayed with me.
re: #4: i never was really even in to music until i discovered drum and bass in 1995. i mean, i'd listen to music and i owned a buch of cds, but once i found drum and bass i realized that i had not truly had a passion and love for music before. i still adore it, and i listen to music completely differently now because of my time djing, and listening to that stuff so intently.
re: #5: a tiny, transparent gecko go into my house a few years back. i wanted to get it out, but while i was trying, i accidentally killed it. i was heartbroken. and only since becoming a christian have i noticed how truly amazing insects are. they really reflect the glory of God.
re#6: i save old pennies for my dad. it's neat, because whenever i get change, i go through them for him looking for the right year (prior to '84), and i think of him and feel connnected to him.
#7: i still hate my body, and think that it will keep someone from truly loving me, but i've made progress. the progress is that i think the person inside the body is pretty awesome. :)
#11: happens to me too, but less now than it used to, thankfully. the problem is that my "helper" personality combines with a really nasty pride/fear that hides my own self to avoid being hurt. the Lord is really working on me in this area. nothing like depression/suicidal tendencies to make you reach out or die. and, yay, my friends did not let me down.
sort of regarding #16 and #10 and #23: i see God making this awesome change in me. i'm a peacemaker! i have this uncanny ability (which is totally from the Holy Spirit, cuz it can't be from me) to see someone's foul behavior and see that it happened because they were scared or hurting, etc. and to have grace/compassion on them. it's especially apparent if someone else comes to me and complains about that behavior. it's nuts, but i really like it. it feels like a part of Jesus' character, and makes it much easier to love and forgive them.
i could/want to say more, but it's late and i have to go to bed. i'm not so good lately on little sleep.
but, thanks for sharing this. i'm inspired to write one of my own. i know that we don'tknow one another well, but i appreciated this glimpse in. in the interest of getting to know one another better, i shared this stuff. i hope you don't see it as spam. :) if you do, that's cool. just let me know. :D
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- i never would have guessed you were a DJ, that was really cool to find out! what drum and bass bands were you into? i'm into IDM and noise and experimental electronic stuff, but i don't really venture into club-type music.
- i am pretty sure if i found a TINY TRANSPARENT GECKO in my house i would scream and run so fast that i'd break through a wall and leave one of those silhouette-shaped holes behind me. do you live on the moon? where in the world are transparent lizards a common occurrence? j/k, but seriously, i've accidentally killed things before too and it is soo heartbreaking :(
thanks for taking the time to read through that gigantic, self-obsessed entry and commenting ; )
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