HAHA!! I've been dancing around the white house in my boxers for hours now!!

We Got him!!!

So, to all who say I'm not doing a good job, I suggest you stop messin' with Texas!

I'm so excited to be going to England. I bet it's so different from the last time I was there. I've been there twice before. Once to see Cats and the other to go drinking. I bet it's all different now. If it's different, I'm gonna call it New England.

I just hope Prince Charles doesn't hit on me ( Read more... )

Who's whining now?

You see? I knew that downed hellacopter would pull on the heartstrings of the Congressional Senate. What timing, I tell ya. Almost like I planned it or somethin ( Read more... )

Pussies.

And if you don't agree with me, think of every serviceman who's going to die because the UN didn't do their job in the first place. All because I told them to stay out of my business back in April.

I've gotta find some way to blame Jock Sherlock for this.

Oh, the Jews began the high holy days a few days ago with sli-(however you make that throat sound)-ot. Laura was telling me about this. It's the last shabot of the "year." What a crock. First, the day of rest is Sunady. Everyone knows that. Then there's Rosh Hashashashanash? That's so made up! Not like Christmas. Christmas we know what ( Read more... )

So, that hurricane. I've goda find a way to link this to terrorism, don't you think? I do. I'm thinking: AFGHANISTAN - Sand Monkeys spray an unusual amount of CFCS into atmosphere spawning a new turn in the war on terror: ENVIROMENTAL TERRORISM ( Read more... )

So, as you may or may not have heard, I escaped Issabella by running off to Camp David for the weekend. Remember boys, hell hath no fury like a... hurricane's scorn ( Read more... )

I'm back from Vacation and wow have things been doing badly without me! We had talks with North Korea and what did we get? Nothing. Didn't I tell you negotiations were a waste of time? What have I been teaching y'all in the War on Terror? Strike First; answer questions about scrupulous dealings afterward with lousy evidence! I mean, it's a ( Read more... )

So, it seems that our fruit-lovin friends to the north have begun to receive a great backlash from the newest computer virus ( Read more... )

The North Eastern United States and those fruits in Canada are without power. All I have to say is where are those Greenpeace Assholes now? They don't want me supporting dundant power plants, or working in the middle east to further America's Oil Interests? Are they mad ( Read more... )