You're the One I'm Loosing [9/?]
Title: You're the One I'm Loosing [9/?]
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third, Ryan-centric
Summary: Ryan wants to go out in the pouring rain and feel alive for once.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Author Notes: I wanted to write something hopeless and lonesome for a change. This is dedicated to: raleighsarusrex for betaing and helping me out so much with this chapter! ...And to Brendon for his belated birthday. :]
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The next day, Ryan kicked a stone along the sidewalk on the way home from work. Brendon stared out the window and saw Ryan’s head down then kicking the rock into the street; Brendon ran out of the house and ran to Ryan.
“Ryan!”
“Brendon, I don’t want to talk to you right now!”
“He kissed me!”
“And you kissed him back! I’m not stupid Brendon!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit you are! Just leave me alone!”
Brendon frowned and pulled Ryan into a small kiss. No emotions, no colors swirling, not even the brightness of the sun shining on the closed eyelids. Ryan pushed him out of the way as he felt anger and his face tearing up rapidly.
“Brendon, I can’t do this,” Ryan said as his fists clenched. His tears fell down his cheeks as he sniffled, seeing Brendon taking a step forward, while Ryan stepped back. “I told you I loved you last night. Y-you could have told me that you didn’t instead of letting me see what h-happened last night.” At this point, the other boy felt really guilty and left Ryan standing as he went back into the house. He grabbed the blanket that brought them together from the beginning and wrote a small note.
Give me this when you’re ready to talk. I know you won’t believe me, but I do love you.”
Ryan read the note over and over, but he didn’t believe it. He knew that Brendon needed to own up to everything and more if he was going take Brendon back. Ryan had always been alone from the beginning, and he began to wonder whether going back to the loneliness was a better idea than taking the chance of having his heart broken. Though, knowing Brendon, he'd gotten a taste of how things could be and he wasn't ready to throw it all away just yet.
By the time the front door closed across the street, the boy who was now alone stared at the house and stared at the blinds and saw a familiar figure crawled up in a ball. Ryan saw the shadow rocking itself back and forth and if his eyes were focusing properly, Brendon was shaking.
Looking down and turning towards his own house, the arms that held the blanket tightened and so did the boy’s throat. Walking into the house, Ryan sighed loudly and found himself on his bed again, drifting off slowly to see the smoky cloud illusions in the darkness of his eyes.
Two weeks had passed and Ryan would often see Jon walking up to Brendon’s door then disappear in the house. He would cry because of this because he knew that best friends either turn out to be good potential or a disaster for relationships, and he had a gut feeling that Brendon would forget about him completely.
Time passed by slowly as the sympathy and the depressing thoughts perturbed Ryan until he couldn't handle it anymore. It was one of the days that he realized it was going to pour and sitting on the front door step looking at the sky, he felt the sprinkle of the acid rain land on his nose while hearing arguing across the street.
“Jon, sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn’t know you!”
“I was trying to be honest of what I said last week and I still feel the same and nothing is going to change that! Isn’t that what friends do? Be truthful with each other?”
“Yeah, but kissing the person who doesn’t have feelings for you and likes someone else altogether is seriously wrong!”
“Geez, he really does like me,” Ryan thought.
“So what do you want me to do? I’m trying to help.”
“You’re not helping at all!” Brendon screamed at the top of his lungs as Ryan flinched. Jon expressed a sympathetic look on his face and Brendon’s body language emphasized fury. They acted like Ryan wasn’t there as Jon walked towards his car. “You know, it’s really sad how you disappoint me every time. I can never depend on you for anything and then when you break my neck, you say that you’re sorry and try to make it up when it doesn’t solve anything. Jon, I really want this to end.”
“You mean us?” Jon asked.
“I mean not talking to each other…Permanently. I don’t want to see your face anymore.” Ryan gasped quietly and got up, making Brendon’s eyes gaze to his back. Jon got into his car and drove off with his wheels screeching, making Ryan flinch once more.
He pressed his head against his door and turned it slightly enough to see Brendon in the corner of his eye. Ryan felt Brendon’s eyes go right through him as he opened the door, heard the rain mysteriously pour and squeezed the blanket in his arms. Brendon took a step closer and got soaked in a matter of seconds. “Ryan, don’t leave,” he said shakily, making it audible enough to reach the other side of the road over the heavy rain.
Ryan blinked away the forming tears in his honey eyes, took a deep breath, entered his house and closed the door softly. For Brendon, waiting was the only thing that he could do, and he didn’t care if he did it forever.
------
Ryan tossed and turned as the rain tapped on the window. He held the blanket close to his chest and blinked his eyes open slowly. Seeing that it was two o’clock in the morning, the boy frowned and rolled out of bed. He walked to the front hallway to see Brendon’s house gloomy and quiet. Ryan sighed and knew that he was ready to talk but he let Brendon sleep. Smelling the blanket, he walked back to his bed, closed his eyes and finally drifted off.
--------
It was Saturday and last night Brendon knew that Ryan wouldn’t talk to him. He sat up in his bed and heard a knock on his front door. Getting up, Brendon walked and soon was met with his long lost lover holding onto the blanket. He was only wearing black plaid bottoms while Ryan wore a full outfit of light blue pajamas and slowly the eyes were lifted off of the ground. They stared into each other’s eyes as Ryan stepped closer and wrapped his arms loosely around the other boy’s waist. Brendon hugged back tightly and kissed his head as they rocked together slowly.
“Ryan, I care so much about you and I’m sorry that I was such an idiot.”
“It’s fine.”
“Jon and I went our separate ways but I don’t care because I love you so much.”
“I love you too. I’ll probably be easier if we were together; that is if you want to…”
“I’ll like that Ry,” Brendon said, “but I don’t know why you would want to take me back after how I treated you." Ryan shook his head and mumbled something about this time around would be special, but he wasn’t sure of it quite yet. He picked Ryan up in the famous wedding style and closed the door with his foot. They landed up in the bedroom and he placed Ryan on the mattress carefully. Brendon moved closer to the boy and rubbed his temple with his fingers then making them caress his cheek. “Can you stay the night with me?”
Ryan nodded at the question, placing the blanket on top of Brendon, and finding out what it felt like to share the blanket with his now boyfriend. “Are you sure that you want me to stay?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s going to storm later so I’d rather have you here. When it’s really stormy, I get scared sometimes.”
“Aww, no, really?” Ryan shifted his head and smiled as he saw a fuzzy, dark brown bear almost falling off of the other side of the bed. “Do you cuddle with this little cute cub?”
“As embarrassing as that is, I do.” Ryan giggled from the reply and picked up the bear and rubbed the top of its head.
“It’s a very pretty bear Brendon, just like you.”
Brendon blushed and pressed a kiss on the bear and then on Ryan’s lips. “I’m just so lucky to have you.”
“You’re beautiful, Brenny.”
“So are you Ry.” Both of them smiled as the moistened air flowed through the window, soon huddling against each other as they heard lightening clash above them.
Author: makeapanicscene
Rating: PG-17
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third, Ryan-centric
Summary: Ryan wants to go out in the pouring rain and feel alive for once.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Author Notes: I wanted to write something hopeless and lonesome for a change. This is dedicated to: raleighsarusrex for betaing and helping me out so much with this chapter! ...And to Brendon for his belated birthday. :]
|1| |2| |3| |4| |5| |6| |7| |8|
The next day, Ryan kicked a stone along the sidewalk on the way home from work. Brendon stared out the window and saw Ryan’s head down then kicking the rock into the street; Brendon ran out of the house and ran to Ryan.
“Ryan!”
“Brendon, I don’t want to talk to you right now!”
“He kissed me!”
“And you kissed him back! I’m not stupid Brendon!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit you are! Just leave me alone!”
Brendon frowned and pulled Ryan into a small kiss. No emotions, no colors swirling, not even the brightness of the sun shining on the closed eyelids. Ryan pushed him out of the way as he felt anger and his face tearing up rapidly.
“Brendon, I can’t do this,” Ryan said as his fists clenched. His tears fell down his cheeks as he sniffled, seeing Brendon taking a step forward, while Ryan stepped back. “I told you I loved you last night. Y-you could have told me that you didn’t instead of letting me see what h-happened last night.” At this point, the other boy felt really guilty and left Ryan standing as he went back into the house. He grabbed the blanket that brought them together from the beginning and wrote a small note.
Give me this when you’re ready to talk. I know you won’t believe me, but I do love you.”
Ryan read the note over and over, but he didn’t believe it. He knew that Brendon needed to own up to everything and more if he was going take Brendon back. Ryan had always been alone from the beginning, and he began to wonder whether going back to the loneliness was a better idea than taking the chance of having his heart broken. Though, knowing Brendon, he'd gotten a taste of how things could be and he wasn't ready to throw it all away just yet.
By the time the front door closed across the street, the boy who was now alone stared at the house and stared at the blinds and saw a familiar figure crawled up in a ball. Ryan saw the shadow rocking itself back and forth and if his eyes were focusing properly, Brendon was shaking.
Looking down and turning towards his own house, the arms that held the blanket tightened and so did the boy’s throat. Walking into the house, Ryan sighed loudly and found himself on his bed again, drifting off slowly to see the smoky cloud illusions in the darkness of his eyes.
Two weeks had passed and Ryan would often see Jon walking up to Brendon’s door then disappear in the house. He would cry because of this because he knew that best friends either turn out to be good potential or a disaster for relationships, and he had a gut feeling that Brendon would forget about him completely.
Time passed by slowly as the sympathy and the depressing thoughts perturbed Ryan until he couldn't handle it anymore. It was one of the days that he realized it was going to pour and sitting on the front door step looking at the sky, he felt the sprinkle of the acid rain land on his nose while hearing arguing across the street.
“Jon, sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn’t know you!”
“I was trying to be honest of what I said last week and I still feel the same and nothing is going to change that! Isn’t that what friends do? Be truthful with each other?”
“Yeah, but kissing the person who doesn’t have feelings for you and likes someone else altogether is seriously wrong!”
“Geez, he really does like me,” Ryan thought.
“So what do you want me to do? I’m trying to help.”
“You’re not helping at all!” Brendon screamed at the top of his lungs as Ryan flinched. Jon expressed a sympathetic look on his face and Brendon’s body language emphasized fury. They acted like Ryan wasn’t there as Jon walked towards his car. “You know, it’s really sad how you disappoint me every time. I can never depend on you for anything and then when you break my neck, you say that you’re sorry and try to make it up when it doesn’t solve anything. Jon, I really want this to end.”
“You mean us?” Jon asked.
“I mean not talking to each other…Permanently. I don’t want to see your face anymore.” Ryan gasped quietly and got up, making Brendon’s eyes gaze to his back. Jon got into his car and drove off with his wheels screeching, making Ryan flinch once more.
He pressed his head against his door and turned it slightly enough to see Brendon in the corner of his eye. Ryan felt Brendon’s eyes go right through him as he opened the door, heard the rain mysteriously pour and squeezed the blanket in his arms. Brendon took a step closer and got soaked in a matter of seconds. “Ryan, don’t leave,” he said shakily, making it audible enough to reach the other side of the road over the heavy rain.
Ryan blinked away the forming tears in his honey eyes, took a deep breath, entered his house and closed the door softly. For Brendon, waiting was the only thing that he could do, and he didn’t care if he did it forever.
------
Ryan tossed and turned as the rain tapped on the window. He held the blanket close to his chest and blinked his eyes open slowly. Seeing that it was two o’clock in the morning, the boy frowned and rolled out of bed. He walked to the front hallway to see Brendon’s house gloomy and quiet. Ryan sighed and knew that he was ready to talk but he let Brendon sleep. Smelling the blanket, he walked back to his bed, closed his eyes and finally drifted off.
--------
It was Saturday and last night Brendon knew that Ryan wouldn’t talk to him. He sat up in his bed and heard a knock on his front door. Getting up, Brendon walked and soon was met with his long lost lover holding onto the blanket. He was only wearing black plaid bottoms while Ryan wore a full outfit of light blue pajamas and slowly the eyes were lifted off of the ground. They stared into each other’s eyes as Ryan stepped closer and wrapped his arms loosely around the other boy’s waist. Brendon hugged back tightly and kissed his head as they rocked together slowly.
“Ryan, I care so much about you and I’m sorry that I was such an idiot.”
“It’s fine.”
“Jon and I went our separate ways but I don’t care because I love you so much.”
“I love you too. I’ll probably be easier if we were together; that is if you want to…”
“I’ll like that Ry,” Brendon said, “but I don’t know why you would want to take me back after how I treated you." Ryan shook his head and mumbled something about this time around would be special, but he wasn’t sure of it quite yet. He picked Ryan up in the famous wedding style and closed the door with his foot. They landed up in the bedroom and he placed Ryan on the mattress carefully. Brendon moved closer to the boy and rubbed his temple with his fingers then making them caress his cheek. “Can you stay the night with me?”
Ryan nodded at the question, placing the blanket on top of Brendon, and finding out what it felt like to share the blanket with his now boyfriend. “Are you sure that you want me to stay?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s going to storm later so I’d rather have you here. When it’s really stormy, I get scared sometimes.”
“Aww, no, really?” Ryan shifted his head and smiled as he saw a fuzzy, dark brown bear almost falling off of the other side of the bed. “Do you cuddle with this little cute cub?”
“As embarrassing as that is, I do.” Ryan giggled from the reply and picked up the bear and rubbed the top of its head.
“It’s a very pretty bear Brendon, just like you.”
Brendon blushed and pressed a kiss on the bear and then on Ryan’s lips. “I’m just so lucky to have you.”
“You’re beautiful, Brenny.”
“So are you Ry.” Both of them smiled as the moistened air flowed through the window, soon huddling against each other as they heard lightening clash above them.