(no subject)
[[Mao and Temari]]
[[Temari's hospital room]]
[[Temari drops the bomb on Mao]]
[[Rated PG]]
The news that Temari was in the hospital again had been more frightening than surprising. Those days, it was only a matter of time, really; and as far as Mao was concerned, that was better news than what Olivia could have said.
But even so, he’d wanted to cry. Reality was such an angry bitch lately; he sort of wanted to fade out and dream for the rest of his life, but that was impossible. Rather than going back to Kyo’s place that day, he’d gone straight to the hospital after school, not even bothering to change out of his uniform.
He was scared to see what Temari would look like. It seemed like every time he visited the redhead, he was thinner, paler, generally sicker all around. It was enough to make him not want to go, but he knew that would make him an even worse time than he already was, so he wasted no time reluctantly knocking on the door and opening it quietly just in case Temari was asleep.
Temari sat in his hospital room flipping through the channels trying to find something interesting to watch but failing. He sighed and sat the remote down, wishing someone would come by. Almost as if his wish was granted, his eyes met with Mao who entered the room. A smile crossed his face as he lifted his hand to wave.
”Hi Mao,” he said in a low voice, not having enough energy to speak too loud at the moment. Seeing Mao in his school uniform made Temari miss being at school. He didn’t like many of the students there but it was better than being cooped up in the same house for months, even if Kai made it entertaining half of the time. “You came straight from school?”
Mao forced himself to smile for Temari’s sake. The room was gloomy enough without him making it worse. “Hi. Yeah, I did… um…”
He sat down in the chair next to Temari’s bed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Why did he feel so awkward?
”How are you feeling?” That seemed like a dumb question, but he had to ask. Temari looked just as sick as he’d imagined. More so than he’d ever seen him before.
“Ah….not so great to tell the truth…” He looked down at the tubes that were in his arms and sighed. He didn’t think he could tell his best friend that he was dying at least right now. It was such a scary thing to tell someone and Mao had been through enough with the whole JJ fiasco.
“Enough about me though. How are you doing?” He knew talking about how sick he was would make Mao feel as bad as he felt so it was best to talk about other things.
“Ah.” Mao bit his lip. Well, that was to be expected. If he’d gone to the hospital, he must have been feeling pretty bad. This was exactly how he’d thought it would be; first he would stop going out, even to school… then to the hospital… and then…
But he couldn’t think like that right now.
”I’m okay. I’m… staying with Kyo.” He was reluctant to tell anyone that, but he was making it a point to tell Temari everything relevant from then on. He’d figured out by now that the redhead really didn’t hold anything he did against him.
“Oh,” he answered raising his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected that to come from his friend’s mouth. “Do your parents know…?”
Temari had a feeling they probably didn’t since so much had been going on with Mao and they didn’t seem to know. It made the boy think about his parents and how they didn’t know their only son was dying while they were away. He was afraid to tell them, he was afraid to tell anyone close to him.
”Um…” Mao bit his lip. “No. I haven’t really… gone home in… a while.” He should have felt bad, but he didn’t. Thinking of his parents made him feel nothing. Not hate, not regret; just plain apathy, as if they didn’t exist. A lot of things were getting that way. He just didn’t have the room to worry about it.
”We’re not, like… shacking up or anything,” he added quickly, suddenly very concerned about Temari getting the wrong idea. “He’s just letting me hang out so I can… get my mind together.”
“O-oh okay,” he answered nodding slowly. He really did get the wrong idea about it so he was thankful that his friend cleared it up for him. He didn’t know Kyo that well aside from what he heard around school so it still worried him a little when he heard that Mao was still hanging around him.
“So he’s a nice guy to you and stuff?”
Mao thought of Kyo’s reaction to what had happened. He’d apologized… more than once, and Mao still didn’t really understand why. He’d never heard the teacher apologize before, even for things that did have something to do with him.
”Yeah, he’s really different when he’s not teaching.” A small smile. “Except when he’s hungry… then he’s kind of scary…” But still hot, though he wasn’t about to try to get Temari to understand that.
Temari chuckled a little at the thought of how Kyo would act when he was hungry, figuring it wouldn’t be any different from how he acted when he was teaching. Though the red head had to wonder why the teacher acted so different when he wasn’t teaching and with Mao. Did the man really have strong feelings for him or something?
“He must really like you then huh?” He smiled a little, feeling happy that some was there to look out for Mao and to make him feel special.
“I, uh…” Mao blushed. He always wondered what Kyo thought of him, even if his actions made it somewhat clear. It was incomprehensible to him that someone like Kyo could like someone like him, and yet…
”I guess so…?” He bit his lip again.
“That’s good,” he said still keeping the smile on his face. “I want you to be happy.” He hated seeing his friend sad because he always felt that he was one of the reasons since he was sick so much. Now that he was dying he was scared of what would happen to his best friend. Hopefully Kyo would be the best boyfriend in the world and make sure his friend would be okay.
Mao smiled in return, thankful that Temari could think of him even while he was feeling so sick. “Thank you…”
A sigh.
”Don’t worry about me. Try to think of nice things.”
“I’m trying but..it’s kind of hard.” The boy bit his lip, tightening his grip on his sheets. He didn’t want to start crying in front of Mao so he reached for the remote to turn on the TV. TV was always the best distraction right? He flipped and flipped till he landed on a random show on MTV.
“Wanna watch some TV?”
“Yeah, all right.” Mao was glad for the distraction; some TV show about American slackers living with their parents. Reality TV was always good in the sense that he could always see someone more pathetic than himself.
He crossed his legs on the chair and frowned.
”I’d rather die than live with my parents forever.”
Temari flinched a little at the comment because he thought quite the opposite. He’d much rather live with his parents forever than die. There were a lot of things he’d rather do than die but that was far from happening.
“Mm..yeah I suppose…” he answered before he quieted himself by drinking from his glass of water.
Mao hugged his shoulders. He couldn’t think of anything worse than being with his parents any longer than he had to. As soon as he graduated, he’d leave… enjoy common freedom and be able to keep his own money.
…Even so, it probably wasn’t the best idea to mention death in front of Temari.
”…Um… sorry.”
“I-It’s okay..” he muttered shaking his head. He always knew that one day he was going to die but it was still sensitive to hear. Even while they sat hear he was constantly going back and forth between if he’s going to tell Mao or not. Mao had been telling him everything recently and he should do the same right?
”….M-mao..” he breathed, trying to get the courage to tell him. “I need to tell you something…”
Uh oh. That didn’t sound good at all. Temari sounded scared, and Mao could only guess what he was going to say. He wasn’t sure if he even really wanted to know.
He turned his attention from the TV to Temari. “Y-yeah?”
“The reason…” Deep breath. “The reason I’m here this time is because…” The red head covered his face with his hands as he sat there on the verge of hyperventilating. He was so scared to tell his friend because he was scared of what his reaction would be.
The boy took a deep breath and removed his hands from his face. He needed to say it now or he was going to change his mind. “Mao I’m dying…” He bit his lip and blinked back tears as his eyes went from the TV to the window to his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his friend at the moment.
Mao’s first reaction was confusion. As far as he was concerned, Temari had been dying for a long time. But if it was official, then… did that mean soon?
”O-oh.” He swallowed. “When?”
The thought of Temari dying was one he generally liked to avoid. He’d seen it coming since Temari had told him he had AIDS, but still… he liked to pretend it would never happen.
The boy shrugged his shoulders as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his bed sheets. He didn’t ask the doctors a time span and he didn’t want to know. He knew it was soon, he just didn’t want to know how soon.
“I just…I just thought I should let you know.”
“O-oh,” Mao choked, hugging onto his bookbag and casting his eyes away from his friend. He didn’t want to cry in front of Temari, especially not because of this.
But it was hard. It was always hard when it came to his friend, especially when his greatest underlying fear became a reality. God, how he hated reality right now.
“C-can I have a hug..?” he asked finally looking up at the boy. He never was one for close contact with his friend but being around Kai so much made him enjoy hugs more and more. He sat himself up better in his bed and held his arms open. They both looked like they could use hugs.
Mao rubbed his eyes and nodded, doing his best to keep control of his emotions. He stood up and leaned over to gently wrap his arms around his friend’s delicate frame.
When was the last time they’d hugged each other? They never did. Olivia was always hugging him, but Temari never wanted to. He was usually so guarded.
A small smile spread across Temari’s face as he wrapped his arms around the other one gently. He was glad Mao was here with him because it always made him feel a little better and not feel as lonely as he did.
“Mao I love you. You’re my best friend and I’m really glad you’re here.” He gave a gentle squeeze into the hug before letting go and resting back in his bed. “Do you think you could stay the night? I can have one overnight visitor.”
Mao rubbed his eyes again. “I- I love you, too. Yeah, definitely… I just have to call Kyo because he… worries.” Mao sort of felt like everyone’s little kid nowadays… or maybe their cat. Whatever. Either way, people were constantly worrying about him after JJ.
And it wasn’t so bad, really. He was kind of worried about himself. It was impossible to know just when something really bad was going to happen.
”Do you mind if I go in your bathroom and change into my regular clothes?”
“Okay,” he answered. He was glad to have Mao stay the night with him because he would have spent the evening talking on the phone with Kai for amusement. That robot was really something else….he would have to be his second best friend of sorts.
”Are you hungry at all? I could get a nurse to bring some food.”
“Um…” Mao stood up and fumbled through his bag to get his clothes. All black; it was what he felt most comfortable in recently. He was sort of worried that he was turning into an annoying scene kid… hopefully not.
”Not yet… later, maybe?” In all honesty, he was a little scared of the hospital food, even if it probably wasn’t as bad as he’d heard.
“Oh okay then. We can just watch more TV and stuff.” Even though Temari was dying he was feeling a lot better than he had been the whole day. Having people you care about around always made you feel better even when you were at your worse.
“Mao thanks for staying.”
Mao nodded. “It’s… I’m happy to.” Another small smile before he disappeared into the bathroom to change… and breathe a bit.
Regroup.
Breathe. Breathe.
It would be okay- for that night, at least. He pulled his plain black pants & sweater on before walking back out into Temari’s room.
[[Temari's hospital room]]
[[Temari drops the bomb on Mao]]
[[Rated PG]]
The news that Temari was in the hospital again had been more frightening than surprising. Those days, it was only a matter of time, really; and as far as Mao was concerned, that was better news than what Olivia could have said.
But even so, he’d wanted to cry. Reality was such an angry bitch lately; he sort of wanted to fade out and dream for the rest of his life, but that was impossible. Rather than going back to Kyo’s place that day, he’d gone straight to the hospital after school, not even bothering to change out of his uniform.
He was scared to see what Temari would look like. It seemed like every time he visited the redhead, he was thinner, paler, generally sicker all around. It was enough to make him not want to go, but he knew that would make him an even worse time than he already was, so he wasted no time reluctantly knocking on the door and opening it quietly just in case Temari was asleep.
Temari sat in his hospital room flipping through the channels trying to find something interesting to watch but failing. He sighed and sat the remote down, wishing someone would come by. Almost as if his wish was granted, his eyes met with Mao who entered the room. A smile crossed his face as he lifted his hand to wave.
”Hi Mao,” he said in a low voice, not having enough energy to speak too loud at the moment. Seeing Mao in his school uniform made Temari miss being at school. He didn’t like many of the students there but it was better than being cooped up in the same house for months, even if Kai made it entertaining half of the time. “You came straight from school?”
Mao forced himself to smile for Temari’s sake. The room was gloomy enough without him making it worse. “Hi. Yeah, I did… um…”
He sat down in the chair next to Temari’s bed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Why did he feel so awkward?
”How are you feeling?” That seemed like a dumb question, but he had to ask. Temari looked just as sick as he’d imagined. More so than he’d ever seen him before.
“Ah….not so great to tell the truth…” He looked down at the tubes that were in his arms and sighed. He didn’t think he could tell his best friend that he was dying at least right now. It was such a scary thing to tell someone and Mao had been through enough with the whole JJ fiasco.
“Enough about me though. How are you doing?” He knew talking about how sick he was would make Mao feel as bad as he felt so it was best to talk about other things.
“Ah.” Mao bit his lip. Well, that was to be expected. If he’d gone to the hospital, he must have been feeling pretty bad. This was exactly how he’d thought it would be; first he would stop going out, even to school… then to the hospital… and then…
But he couldn’t think like that right now.
”I’m okay. I’m… staying with Kyo.” He was reluctant to tell anyone that, but he was making it a point to tell Temari everything relevant from then on. He’d figured out by now that the redhead really didn’t hold anything he did against him.
“Oh,” he answered raising his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected that to come from his friend’s mouth. “Do your parents know…?”
Temari had a feeling they probably didn’t since so much had been going on with Mao and they didn’t seem to know. It made the boy think about his parents and how they didn’t know their only son was dying while they were away. He was afraid to tell them, he was afraid to tell anyone close to him.
”Um…” Mao bit his lip. “No. I haven’t really… gone home in… a while.” He should have felt bad, but he didn’t. Thinking of his parents made him feel nothing. Not hate, not regret; just plain apathy, as if they didn’t exist. A lot of things were getting that way. He just didn’t have the room to worry about it.
”We’re not, like… shacking up or anything,” he added quickly, suddenly very concerned about Temari getting the wrong idea. “He’s just letting me hang out so I can… get my mind together.”
“O-oh okay,” he answered nodding slowly. He really did get the wrong idea about it so he was thankful that his friend cleared it up for him. He didn’t know Kyo that well aside from what he heard around school so it still worried him a little when he heard that Mao was still hanging around him.
“So he’s a nice guy to you and stuff?”
Mao thought of Kyo’s reaction to what had happened. He’d apologized… more than once, and Mao still didn’t really understand why. He’d never heard the teacher apologize before, even for things that did have something to do with him.
”Yeah, he’s really different when he’s not teaching.” A small smile. “Except when he’s hungry… then he’s kind of scary…” But still hot, though he wasn’t about to try to get Temari to understand that.
Temari chuckled a little at the thought of how Kyo would act when he was hungry, figuring it wouldn’t be any different from how he acted when he was teaching. Though the red head had to wonder why the teacher acted so different when he wasn’t teaching and with Mao. Did the man really have strong feelings for him or something?
“He must really like you then huh?” He smiled a little, feeling happy that some was there to look out for Mao and to make him feel special.
“I, uh…” Mao blushed. He always wondered what Kyo thought of him, even if his actions made it somewhat clear. It was incomprehensible to him that someone like Kyo could like someone like him, and yet…
”I guess so…?” He bit his lip again.
“That’s good,” he said still keeping the smile on his face. “I want you to be happy.” He hated seeing his friend sad because he always felt that he was one of the reasons since he was sick so much. Now that he was dying he was scared of what would happen to his best friend. Hopefully Kyo would be the best boyfriend in the world and make sure his friend would be okay.
Mao smiled in return, thankful that Temari could think of him even while he was feeling so sick. “Thank you…”
A sigh.
”Don’t worry about me. Try to think of nice things.”
“I’m trying but..it’s kind of hard.” The boy bit his lip, tightening his grip on his sheets. He didn’t want to start crying in front of Mao so he reached for the remote to turn on the TV. TV was always the best distraction right? He flipped and flipped till he landed on a random show on MTV.
“Wanna watch some TV?”
“Yeah, all right.” Mao was glad for the distraction; some TV show about American slackers living with their parents. Reality TV was always good in the sense that he could always see someone more pathetic than himself.
He crossed his legs on the chair and frowned.
”I’d rather die than live with my parents forever.”
Temari flinched a little at the comment because he thought quite the opposite. He’d much rather live with his parents forever than die. There were a lot of things he’d rather do than die but that was far from happening.
“Mm..yeah I suppose…” he answered before he quieted himself by drinking from his glass of water.
Mao hugged his shoulders. He couldn’t think of anything worse than being with his parents any longer than he had to. As soon as he graduated, he’d leave… enjoy common freedom and be able to keep his own money.
…Even so, it probably wasn’t the best idea to mention death in front of Temari.
”…Um… sorry.”
“I-It’s okay..” he muttered shaking his head. He always knew that one day he was going to die but it was still sensitive to hear. Even while they sat hear he was constantly going back and forth between if he’s going to tell Mao or not. Mao had been telling him everything recently and he should do the same right?
”….M-mao..” he breathed, trying to get the courage to tell him. “I need to tell you something…”
Uh oh. That didn’t sound good at all. Temari sounded scared, and Mao could only guess what he was going to say. He wasn’t sure if he even really wanted to know.
He turned his attention from the TV to Temari. “Y-yeah?”
“The reason…” Deep breath. “The reason I’m here this time is because…” The red head covered his face with his hands as he sat there on the verge of hyperventilating. He was so scared to tell his friend because he was scared of what his reaction would be.
The boy took a deep breath and removed his hands from his face. He needed to say it now or he was going to change his mind. “Mao I’m dying…” He bit his lip and blinked back tears as his eyes went from the TV to the window to his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his friend at the moment.
Mao’s first reaction was confusion. As far as he was concerned, Temari had been dying for a long time. But if it was official, then… did that mean soon?
”O-oh.” He swallowed. “When?”
The thought of Temari dying was one he generally liked to avoid. He’d seen it coming since Temari had told him he had AIDS, but still… he liked to pretend it would never happen.
The boy shrugged his shoulders as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his bed sheets. He didn’t ask the doctors a time span and he didn’t want to know. He knew it was soon, he just didn’t want to know how soon.
“I just…I just thought I should let you know.”
“O-oh,” Mao choked, hugging onto his bookbag and casting his eyes away from his friend. He didn’t want to cry in front of Temari, especially not because of this.
But it was hard. It was always hard when it came to his friend, especially when his greatest underlying fear became a reality. God, how he hated reality right now.
“C-can I have a hug..?” he asked finally looking up at the boy. He never was one for close contact with his friend but being around Kai so much made him enjoy hugs more and more. He sat himself up better in his bed and held his arms open. They both looked like they could use hugs.
Mao rubbed his eyes and nodded, doing his best to keep control of his emotions. He stood up and leaned over to gently wrap his arms around his friend’s delicate frame.
When was the last time they’d hugged each other? They never did. Olivia was always hugging him, but Temari never wanted to. He was usually so guarded.
A small smile spread across Temari’s face as he wrapped his arms around the other one gently. He was glad Mao was here with him because it always made him feel a little better and not feel as lonely as he did.
“Mao I love you. You’re my best friend and I’m really glad you’re here.” He gave a gentle squeeze into the hug before letting go and resting back in his bed. “Do you think you could stay the night? I can have one overnight visitor.”
Mao rubbed his eyes again. “I- I love you, too. Yeah, definitely… I just have to call Kyo because he… worries.” Mao sort of felt like everyone’s little kid nowadays… or maybe their cat. Whatever. Either way, people were constantly worrying about him after JJ.
And it wasn’t so bad, really. He was kind of worried about himself. It was impossible to know just when something really bad was going to happen.
”Do you mind if I go in your bathroom and change into my regular clothes?”
“Okay,” he answered. He was glad to have Mao stay the night with him because he would have spent the evening talking on the phone with Kai for amusement. That robot was really something else….he would have to be his second best friend of sorts.
”Are you hungry at all? I could get a nurse to bring some food.”
“Um…” Mao stood up and fumbled through his bag to get his clothes. All black; it was what he felt most comfortable in recently. He was sort of worried that he was turning into an annoying scene kid… hopefully not.
”Not yet… later, maybe?” In all honesty, he was a little scared of the hospital food, even if it probably wasn’t as bad as he’d heard.
“Oh okay then. We can just watch more TV and stuff.” Even though Temari was dying he was feeling a lot better than he had been the whole day. Having people you care about around always made you feel better even when you were at your worse.
“Mao thanks for staying.”
Mao nodded. “It’s… I’m happy to.” Another small smile before he disappeared into the bathroom to change… and breathe a bit.
Regroup.
Breathe. Breathe.
It would be okay- for that night, at least. He pulled his plain black pants & sweater on before walking back out into Temari’s room.