Gallant Mirracle
-->So what has been up in Yisu land? XD A SHIT load. OMG everything has turned out so well that I don’t know what to even think about it. XD I don’t know it’s just that everything is going freakishly well. You know all the things in my previous entry in which I ranted about all the issues I had and in which I spoke of suitors and if what not? Well those problems are gone and the ones that have come back I’m sure I can handle. I feel like I’m on top of the world and I can take anything it attempts to throw at me.
-->Has anyone ever told you that you shall find what you seek when you no longer seek it? If so kudos to that person being that they are wise. Once you stop looking for something you will find that it was around all along and that’s when you’ll open your eyes and realize you’ve found it. It’s funny since it happened just how Irene had told me it would. The irony is that I should probably listen to her more often.
-->Have you ever liked some one but had such a little chance that you refused to tell even your closest friends for fear that they would encourage you into talking to him and just setting you up for failure. Well I did. It’s not that I didn’t think he wouldn’t like me because of lack of confidence but because of how different we seem. Well come to find out that for some voodoo-like magic he actually likes me and we’ve been dating. I’m happy. For once I just feel refreshed about everything and he can switch my mood around just by sending me a message in which he says hello. I really like Brandon. I think he’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
-->I got my gallant miracle, the knight a plebeian would have never thought she could get yet I feel like a princess around him. I’m not sure so much affection is healthy yet I don’t really give a fuck. It’s dangerous to be so deeply infatuated with some one, especially if the relationship is just starting out yet I’ll take my risk. After all, enjoy the relationship and the feelings I have for him.
This is what Happiness looks like.
-->Unfortunately such has also made me loose some people. One of my closest friends, Billy, hasn’t spoken to me ever since he found out I had a boyfriend. I don’t understand the boy to say the truth. I would understand him being upset if I had finished the relationship yet it was him. He was the one that didn’t want me so why must he react like this? -sigh- I wouldn’t change it for the relationship yet I still wish I didn’t have to loose a friend. But I guess I’m fucked in that aspect. I just miss the friendship and feel betrayed as he promised he wouldn’t become detached.
-->At the same time I think I lost another friend. Julio left for his training and won’t be back until December and I’m worried that when he comes back he will have something against me for recent occurrences or he will just be changed and not have anything to do with his old friends. Besides, I’m worried about him being out there and just joining. It may be a good experience yet I guess I’m worried that I may not. I guess I’m just going to miss him and the fact that he doesn’t believe that makes me feel like I was not a good friend and didn’t show him I cared for him enough.
-->I also think I’m about to loose Sig and the thought freaks me out. He’s my best friend, my brother, and he’s leaving for college and I guess I’m scared I’ll loose one of the people I’ve become so attached to with the years. Alison and I handled the separation though it’s not the same. What about if he just doesn’t want to hold any ties to Denton but his girlfriend? I truly hope not. I know I’ve been snappy at Cortnei and I’m sorry I know that it’s partly that she keeps on mentioning Sig (among the emancipation shit and my mood swings) and it makes me think of how little time before he lives and I can’t help but feel resentful towards him for just leaving everything behind, yet at the same time I’m proud of him for doing what he wants to do and leave Denton. I just don’t want to loose my brother.
-->Also, I’ve been going through extreme mood swings so beware, it’s nothing personal, I’m just going through one of those moments. If I’m being snappy just leave me alone, let me cool off, and eventually I’ll apologize and want to talk to you again. I don’t know what’s going on but I apologize in advanced if I hurt anyone that’s not a worthless piece of shit.
-->xD yet as I was saying about Brandon (So what if I want to finish this in a happy cheerful mood?). -shrugs- He’s my gallant miracle and I’m glad I was able to get my chance with him. I’m really hoping this will last and that the feelings we both have will too. I can see this surviving. XD is it bad I’m getting giddy just by thinking about it?
-->Has anyone ever told you that you shall find what you seek when you no longer seek it? If so kudos to that person being that they are wise. Once you stop looking for something you will find that it was around all along and that’s when you’ll open your eyes and realize you’ve found it. It’s funny since it happened just how Irene had told me it would. The irony is that I should probably listen to her more often.
-->Have you ever liked some one but had such a little chance that you refused to tell even your closest friends for fear that they would encourage you into talking to him and just setting you up for failure. Well I did. It’s not that I didn’t think he wouldn’t like me because of lack of confidence but because of how different we seem. Well come to find out that for some voodoo-like magic he actually likes me and we’ve been dating. I’m happy. For once I just feel refreshed about everything and he can switch my mood around just by sending me a message in which he says hello. I really like Brandon. I think he’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
-->I got my gallant miracle, the knight a plebeian would have never thought she could get yet I feel like a princess around him. I’m not sure so much affection is healthy yet I don’t really give a fuck. It’s dangerous to be so deeply infatuated with some one, especially if the relationship is just starting out yet I’ll take my risk. After all, enjoy the relationship and the feelings I have for him.
This is what Happiness looks like.
-->Unfortunately such has also made me loose some people. One of my closest friends, Billy, hasn’t spoken to me ever since he found out I had a boyfriend. I don’t understand the boy to say the truth. I would understand him being upset if I had finished the relationship yet it was him. He was the one that didn’t want me so why must he react like this? -sigh- I wouldn’t change it for the relationship yet I still wish I didn’t have to loose a friend. But I guess I’m fucked in that aspect. I just miss the friendship and feel betrayed as he promised he wouldn’t become detached.
-->At the same time I think I lost another friend. Julio left for his training and won’t be back until December and I’m worried that when he comes back he will have something against me for recent occurrences or he will just be changed and not have anything to do with his old friends. Besides, I’m worried about him being out there and just joining. It may be a good experience yet I guess I’m worried that I may not. I guess I’m just going to miss him and the fact that he doesn’t believe that makes me feel like I was not a good friend and didn’t show him I cared for him enough.
-->I also think I’m about to loose Sig and the thought freaks me out. He’s my best friend, my brother, and he’s leaving for college and I guess I’m scared I’ll loose one of the people I’ve become so attached to with the years. Alison and I handled the separation though it’s not the same. What about if he just doesn’t want to hold any ties to Denton but his girlfriend? I truly hope not. I know I’ve been snappy at Cortnei and I’m sorry I know that it’s partly that she keeps on mentioning Sig (among the emancipation shit and my mood swings) and it makes me think of how little time before he lives and I can’t help but feel resentful towards him for just leaving everything behind, yet at the same time I’m proud of him for doing what he wants to do and leave Denton. I just don’t want to loose my brother.
-->Also, I’ve been going through extreme mood swings so beware, it’s nothing personal, I’m just going through one of those moments. If I’m being snappy just leave me alone, let me cool off, and eventually I’ll apologize and want to talk to you again. I don’t know what’s going on but I apologize in advanced if I hurt anyone that’s not a worthless piece of shit.
-->xD yet as I was saying about Brandon (So what if I want to finish this in a happy cheerful mood?). -shrugs- He’s my gallant miracle and I’m glad I was able to get my chance with him. I’m really hoping this will last and that the feelings we both have will too. I can see this surviving. XD is it bad I’m getting giddy just by thinking about it?