Fanfic: As Time Goes By 23
Title: As Time Goes By 23
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Callie and Arizona A/U story. Four kids, two department heads and Arizona’s past coming back to haunt her.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not intend to profit in any way, shape or form by posting this story. It's for fun, nothing more, and nothing less. Please don't sue me.
A/N: Yes, I know it took a while to get this chapter out and it’s completely my fault. I don’t know what’s going on, but writer’s block or some type of brain blockage has hurt my writing and it’s just taken longer to get stuff out, so I apologize. We know nothing about medicine, so take anything said about medical things with a grain of salt (a very small grain of salt). :x I hope you’re still with us and enjoying reading the story as much as JJ and I are writing it. Leave a review if you want, we certainly love them.
Callie could not remember a time when she had been this nervous before in her entire life. Not when she had taken her boards, not when she had finally realized that she was bisexual, and not even when she and Arizona had found out they were expecting not one baby, not two babies, but three babies all at the same time. No, this was definitely the most nerve-wracking moment of her life. She had agreed to let Monica, or as she liked to call her ‘that life-ruining skank’, come and talk to her wife. When she and Monica spoke, she said she would be there within an hour and since the second Callie hung up the phone she had been frantically pacing. A lot of nurses were looking at her like she had suddenly lost her mind, but the look on her face told them that it was best to leave her alone.
“Ah, so it’s true.” Callie, who had been mumbling to herself in Spanish while staring at her feet, looked up to see Mark walking towards her while throwing and catching an apple. Callie glared at him, but did not stop her pacing.
“What’s true?” she asked him.
“Addie said you were going a little crazy when she talked to you earlier and I see the transformation is still taking place.” Mark laughed while he shrugged his shoulders and took a big bite out of the apple.
Callie stopped pacing and stormed over to him and spoke as though each of her words were an authoritative sentence. “I am not crazy. I am fucking terrified! My wife, the mother of my children, in the next…” Callie frantically looked at the clock at the nurses’ station before continuing, “…ten to fifteen minutes is going to come face to face with the woman who not only once, but twice, came close to not only ruining her life, but having her killed!” Callie sharply poked Mark in the chest and even though he was taller and bigger than he was, he stumbled backwards from the force.
“Whoa, Callie, calm down, I was kidding,” Mark said as he recovered and held up his hands in surrender.
“I don’t care! I do not have time for your jokes right now, Mark Sloan, because I am going out of my mind! Why are you even here? No surgeries? Don’t you have faces to mold, pretty boy? …Or nurses’ to sexually harass? …Oh, wait, I mean sexually encourage.” She used her fingers to add air quotes when she said sexually encourage. Mark’s face went from shocked to insulted from Callie’s words, but Callie had turned away from him because she had been called over to the station by one of the nurses and walked away.
“That’s Dr. Pretty Boy to you, Torres!” Mark shouted after her as he straightened up his clothes. Callie threw him a look over her shoulder and he knew now was the right moment to just walk away.
As Callie walked up to the nurses’ station, she suddenly felt a headache coming on. There stood Alice with her kids. Sofia was wearing a pretty pink dress with a pink ribbon in her hair and she was off to the side dancing while several of the nurses’ watched her adoringly. Skye and Sienna were dressed in identical pink dresses and their hair was pulled back into a ponytail which made them look exactly like a mini-Arizona each. It was hard to tell them apart from where she stood. And then there was little Spencer, his untameable cowlick made him look like such a little man. Callie felt her nerves float away for just a second as she watched her family. Well, all of her family except for the love of her life; who she was currently kind of fighting with. The thought made her sigh, but it only lasted a second as four pairs of eyes found her and a shrieking of ‘Mama’ was heard.
“What are you guys doing here?” Callie asked with a smile to her kids, but then narrowed her eyes at Alice.
Alice blinked, confused at the look, “Uh, I thought you guys would want to see the kids… And uhm, Grandma and Grandpa needed a break. …A big break. …A really, really big break.” Alice licked her lips then nodded down at Spencer. “Someone was answering questions he shouldn’t be.”
“It’s not my fault that Sofie asked where babies came from and Grandpa was too embarrassed to answer,” Spencer said with a shrug.
Callie’s eyes widened, “Where did you learn that, Spence?”
“The internet, duh,” Spencer replied with an eye roll.
“Who let you get on the computer unsupervised?” Callie glanced at Alice, who shook her head.
“Grandma said it would be good for me to read, so I was googling things. It was fun until Alice got home from the store.” Spencer leaned in closer to Callie, his voice lowering to a whisper, “Alice used her firm voice and told me I knew better, which I did, but hey, I’m three and super adorable, as Mommy would say.” He said while offering Callie the same super-magic smile his Mommy had, dimples and all, and then he stood back up with a shrug.
Alice shrugged slightly as well when Callie glanced at her. She was about to say something when the elevator doors opened and Monica walked out. She was followed by two other women, one of which was carrying a little girl and holding the hand of a small boy. The other woman was holding the hand of another small boy. Callie was confused at the display, but she made eye contact with Monica and they both shared a tense look.
“Listen, there’s something kinda going down right now and I don’t know how long it’s going to take,” Callie said while running a hand through her hair.
“It’s no problem, Callie, the kids and I will head into waiting room right here and color.” Spencer rolled his eyes and sighed softly. Alice tapped him on head and he just grinned at her. “Let us know when I can bring them in, because they keep asking about Mommy,” Alice said while giving Callie a look.
Callie sighed and nodded. Of course the kids are missing their Mommy. Arizona was so in their lives and, although Spencer really understood what was going on, the others just knew Mommy was in pain. “Okay, hopefully it won’t take too long.” She hoped Alice wouldn’t want to kill her for that little white lie later. She knew this would most likely take a while.
She watched Alice and the kids walk away and then turned her attention to Monica, who had stepped up to her. “Dr. Torres,” Monica said softly. She appeared to be just as nervous as Callie felt.
Callie nodded to her and held her hand out, deciding to be cordial and they shook hands. “Hello, Monica. Please, call me Callie.” She took a deep breath and slowly released it before continuing, “Okay, let me start by saying that I’m sorry about yesterday, but you have to understand, Arizona is my life and I won’t stop to do everything in my power to protect her.”
Monica smiled and it made Callie’s stomach churn because it seemed genuine. “I understand completely, Callie.” Monica took a deep breath now and then raised her hand to her head and hit herself on the forehead. “Jeeze, where are my manners?” She laughed and turned toward the two women and three kids who got off the elevator with her. “This is my wife, Mary.” She reached out and grabbed the red haired woman’s free hand. “And this is Hannah, our nanny. She’s got little Kristy and Paul with her. And this little man,” she nodded toward the young boy who was holding Mary’s other hand, “…is Caleb, our eldest.”
Callie’s eyes widened, “Your WHAT?” Callie’s mind was racing. This homophobic bitch that caused Arizona unimaginable pain, regret, and loss is married… to a woman?!
Monica shrunk back from Callie’s outburst and frowned. She glanced at her wife, who simply squeezed her hand. She swallowed the large lump in the throat, “I know this is most likely coming as a surprise, and trust me, I know how much you must hate me, but I’m here to make amends…” Callie could see tears building in Monica’s brown eyes. “I… I-I have not always b-been a good person. I was a scared and naïve little girl who was trying to push what she was feeling away in the worst way possible. I lied and nearly got my lover killed and lost my best friend that day…”
Callie felt her blood begin to boil and she was really having trouble reigning in her anger at this very moment. “Really? You’re going to stand here and make this all about you and what you lost? Do you have any idea of how much she lost over this? The hours of therapy, the loss of friendships and happiness, family… And that she almost died… Twice!”
Mary’s eyes widened, she turned to Hannah and she nodded. Hannah asked Caleb to follow her and they made their way to the nearby waiting room. She then turned to Callie, green eyes blazing in anger, “Hey now, you need to calm the hell down!” She squeezed Monica’s hand tightly, but all Monica could do was look away, tears streaming down her face. “I understand there is a lot that happened in the past between Arizona and Monica, but you have no idea how hard this is on Monica? …To even get up the nerve to come here? It took her years just to find out where Arizona was, she’s wanted to talk to her for years and she finally gets the chance and she ends up threatened and berated for it. That’s not right.”
Mary closed her eyes for a moment and released a breath. “She knows she did wrong. She’s regretted it for years, with no way to release the guilt and suffering. It doesn’t make up for it, or change the past, but give her the chance to talk to Arizona. Please. Calmly, like the adults we are. We have families, we know what is at stake here, but for Monica to be whole and for her to try and have her kids respect her, she needs to try and make up for her past mistakes, she needs to talk to Arizona to do that. That’s why she’s here.”
Callie felt embarrassed, but still angry. She nodded slightly toward Arizona’s room.
Just as Mary and Monica were about to walk towards the room Callie held her hand up and stopped them. “Let’s get a few things straight here first, okay? I meant every single ground rule I said on the phone. No touching my wife; no thinking about touching my wife; I am in the room for the entire conversation; and if Arizona says that enough is enough, then you will leave this hospital and go back to wherever it is you came from and never bother me or my family again. Oh and now that I know that we both have kids involved, they are not to be brought into this at all. Agreed?”
Monica looked at her wife who gave her hand a squeeze of support before returning her gaze to Callie and nodding her head. “Agreed.” Callie gave a nod of her head before the three women walked over to Arizona’s room. Callie placed a hand on the door handle before stopping and turning around. “Okay, now that that’s cleared up, I need you to just wait out here for a second, I need to talk to my wife first. She... she doesn’t exactly know you’re here.”
Monica’s eyes widened and Mary shook her head in disbelief, but both women agreed to wait outside the room.
Callie opened the door and walked into the room quickly closing it behind her. “Arizona?” Callie looked over at the bed where to anyone else’s eyes it would have looked like she was asleep, but Callie knew her wife, and she knew when she was faking it. “Arizona, I know you’re awake.” She walked over to the bed and tried to grab her wife’s hand, but Arizona pretended to curl up and pulled it out of her reach. “Right, I guess I’ll have to sit here butt naked eating these donuts all by myself.”
At those words, one of Arizona’s eyes slowly opened and she sighed out, “Liar.” Arizona sighed again and opened her eyes, shifting herself up into a sitting position. “What do you want, Callie? I’m still mad at you.”
“I know and you have every right to be, but I want you to know that I understand why you need to do this, and that’s why…” Callie took a deep breath to calm her shaking voice. “I called Monica and told her to come down here so you could talk to her.”
Arizona’s mouth dropped open slightly at Callie’s words, “She’s coming here?”
“She’s right outside the door.” Arizona closed her eyes and a tear fell down her cheek.
Callie’s heart broke at the sight. “You don’t have to do this now, if you don’t want to.”
Arizona shook her head and wiped her face, “No, please, let her in.” Arizona gripped her bed sheets and took in a deep breath as she spoke. Callie hesitated before walking to the door, opening it and mumbling that Monica could come in.
Monica took a moment and looked to her wife, who smiled and nodded toward the door. She took a deep breath and released it through her lips before she walked through the door. She paused as she looked up and her brown eyes met Arizona’s subdued blue eyes. She looked pale and sickly and her eyes lacked their usual spark. Well, the spark which Monica fell in love with long ago, when she was so naïve to think she wasn’t free to do and feel what she wanted. A time when she let her small minded parents dictate her life and force her to hurt the one person who opened her eyes. What a fool she was. Suddenly, Monica’s heart dropped into her stomach and she felt it churn deep within her. Her brother caused this… again… and it made her feel sick.
She stepped further into the room after regaining control of herself, but she couldn’t stop the tears in from forming in her eyes. She glanced back toward the door and saw her wife who was standing just outside and received a look of pure love and a nod of support. She glanced at Callie, who was standing quietly near the door, her arms over her chest and small frown on her lips. She felt intimated by the fiery temper of the woman Arizona married, but the thought also made smile. She knew Arizona would find a woman who was not only confident and hot, but intelligent. All the things she definitely wasn’t years ago and struggles to become even in her current phase of life.
She stepped to the chair which was fairly close to the bed which Arizona laid upon and quietly asked, “Would it be alright if I sat down?”
Arizona nodded once, but said nothing. She was sitting stock still, her back rigid and Callie knew she was going to regret the position later, because it caused some pressure on her wounds. But Callie knew better than to say anything about it at the moment. The air in the room was already thick with a tense pressure and she really didn’t want to put Arizona in a bad mood prior to Monica saying anything. The two women were eyeing each other, both with deer-in-headlights looks behind their eyes. There was silence for several minutes before Monica cleared her throat.
“Arizona…” the word hung in the air for several minutes. It was as though Monica was expecting Arizona to say something, but she simply sat there in her rigid pose, making herself seem bigger than she was, prepared for a fight, should one come to her. When Monica realized she wouldn’t get an answer, her shoulders slumped slightly and she sobbed once, but shook her head. “I-I cannot begin to t-tell you how s-sorry I am. For everything! I’ve t-tried to f-find you for so long. So many years where I struggled looking for you because of how much I wanted… no, how much I really needed to talk to you. To try and explain how my parents were so controlling of me! How I didn’t feel in control of my own actions… How my path in life was not my own to forge and the only way I could save myself was by throwing you under a bus…” Monica tilted her head and Arizona was suddenly transported to her college days, the look of adoration she craved from Monica when she tilted her head just slightly. That look used to send delicious shivers throughout her body, but now… now all that look does is make Arizona want to throw up everything she had eaten earlier.
“I know t-that we were young and I was so naive, but what I d-did, what my b-brothers…” another sob, it was gut-wrenching for Callie to listen to it and she saw out of the corner of her eye that Mary wanted to enter the room, but she held herself at bay. Callie understood that Mary was giving Monica a chance to do this on her own. Monica grit her teeth and her hands were clenched into fists as she continued, “…What my brothers did to you was abhorrent and wrong and I wanted to k-kill them myself! And not only what t-they did back then, but what R-Robert did now… I c-cannot believe that they still, even now, hold a g-grudge against you.” She sighed again, looking absolutely miserable as she considered all the things that happened in their past. “I was so stupid and wrong!”
Monica sighed, the anger she was reigning in from talking about her brothers seemed to have left her body as the breath left her lungs. “I wish I could go back in time and change what they did, what I did, but I can’t. I know that I m-made things in your life harder than it should have been. You were a g-golden girl, Arizona. Everything in your life was going right and you were going to be amazing and you were in the place you wanted to be and I took all of that away from you out of fear and I have loathed myself ever since.” She swallowed a lump in her throat and sat back up a bit as she smiled slightly at Arizona.
“I know I can never make up for the mistakes I made in the past, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I don’t think I can ever say the word enough and I wish there was something more I could do to prove how truly sorry and ashamed I am for the actions that not only I took, but my family, especially my brothers.” She raised a hand to her head and ran her fingers through her hair. She looked up at Arizona with a hopeful smile, “I’ve met your wife and she is so amazing, Arizona. She’s fiercely protective of you and so beautiful and she’s a doctor here, so she’s insanely smart and confident. All the things I never was and still try to be for my own wife…” She blinked, just realizing what she said and she smiled slightly, “Yes, I have a wife too. It took time, but I broke away from my family. Disowned them legally and got as far away from them as I possibly could. They have no idea about my family. Did I mention that I have kids? Your wife told me you did as well, in fact I think we saw them when we came into the hospital today. The adorable little girl that looks like your wife and the little boy… Then those two little girls that look just like mini-yous,” she said with a small smile and a single laugh.
Monica stared at Arizona, just wishing she would do something! Smile, frown, move in anyway or say something, but Arizona just stared at her. There was a silence for several moments and Monica was wracking her brain trying to think of something else to say; anything to fill this awkward silence.
Arizona licked her lips and lowered her head just slightly, “Are you done now?”
Monica nodded once.
The next voice they heard was Arizona’s stern voice. It never failed to make Callie feel nervous. She remembered Arizona telling her once that she was not broken and that she was not some psychodrama. The timbre of the voice Arizona used made her shiver slightly and not in a good way. “Are you proud of yourself for having tracked me down? Hm? It really didn’t matter that I obviously want nothing to do to you, hence you being unable to find me for years,” Arizona scoffed and it sounded foreign to Callie, like it wasn’t coming from her wife.
“You wanted to kill your brothers, huh? Well, you made me want to kill myself. You ruined my life and now you come here and beg for forgiveness? Is that what you want?” Arizona let out another scoff as she shook her head in disbelief and then narrowed her eyes with a gaze of hatred at Monica. The room suddenly became ten degrees colder. “Well, you don’t have it. No, I will never forgive you for what you did and for what you made me do in response. I will never forgive you for making me feel like I didn’t deserve to be alive, or for all the looks people on campus gave me because they thought I r…” Arizona sat up straight and cleared her throat, “They thought I ra--…” She huffed and clenched her teeth, her jaw jutting out slightly as she lifted her head and tried to regain her composure. “You told people I raped you! …and the worst part was that people actually believed it.”
Monica looked as though she’d been punched in the face. She looked dazed and confused and turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder, first at Callie, then the open door, but she couldn’t see Mary from where she sat. She turned back to Arizona and felt her heart clench in her chest. Arizona’s face was red and she was sweating. She looked even sicker than she had when she first walked into the room and she was overwhelmed with a desire to protect her, despite the tongue lashing that was being shoved in her face. “Callie…” she whispered just as she saw red flood at Arizona’s shoulder.
Arizona’s body went slack and she turned her gaze at Monica again. It was that look of hate and it made Monica want to run and hide, but it also made her want to hug her tightly and beg for forgiveness again, despite everything that was just said. She deserved it and Arizona definitely did not deserve what happened to her. Any of it.
“Get out,” Arizona said while glaring at her.
Callie stepped in front of Monica and placed her hands on Arizona’s cheeks. “Hey, hey, calm down.”
“I am… calm...” Arizona said between breaths. “I don’t… want her… to see me… cry, Callie… Please.” Arizona was having trouble breathing and the tears were already starting to fall down her face.
Callie turned toward Monica and offered her an apologetic smile, though she would never apologize for anything that was said. “I think you should go for now,” she said as she hit the button over Arizona’s bed for a nurse to come in.
Monica nodded and whispered, “I’m so sorry…” as she got up and walked out of the room and into Mary’s arms.
Moments later, a nurse entered the room and Callie barked orders at the nurse to page Altman and Bailey with a 911 code immediately. She turned back to Arizona, who was looking very sickly. There was a stream of blood flowing from the corner of her mouth, which concerned Callie greatly. “Calm down, Arizona.” She saw Arizona’s eyes glaze a bit and she gently slapped Arizona’s cheek with her fingers, “Hey, hey, honey, look at me.” She waited for Arizona to comply and when she did she gave her wife a huge smile. “You know, even sick, all I want to do is climb into that bed and kiss you all over.” She felt her heart flutter when Arizona’s lips curved into a smile and her dimples popped out, despite the pain Callie knew Arizona was in.
Arizona tried to laugh, but it came out as a strained cough and only caused more blood to leak from her lips. Callie reached to the supplies on her left and grabbed some gauze and used it to start wiping up the blood. She also grabbed a basin and handed to Arizona, in case she felt as though she needed to throw up. “Don’t… make me… laugh,” Arizona groaned, her eyes still locked onto Callie’s. They were both scared, but neither would admit it.
It felt as though they were locked in this position for hours. They were feeding off the support one another and though it did feel like hours to them, it was merely a few minutes later when Dr. Bailey breezed into the room, follow by Dr. Altman.
The two doctors took in the scene before them and both stopped short. Teddy seemed stunned and her mouth dropped open as she saw the condition Arizona was in. This wasn’t how she left her earlier and she felt sick to her stomach for a moment, seeing her friend in such condition. Bailey glanced at Teddy and saw her pause, so she quickly stepped closer to the bed placed her hand on Callie’s shoulder. She spoke softly and with authority as she leaned over so that she could get Callie’s attention, “I need you to step back, Callie, so I can examine Arizona, okay?”
Callie glanced at Bailey, but her eyes immediately went back to Arizona when she felt her wife’s tears against her hands, which were still on Arizona’s cheeks. “Arizona…”
The sound of Callie’s voice made Teddy feel tears pool in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away and stepped up to Callie’s other side. “Okay, come on, Callie.” Teddy pulled her away, though Callie’s eyes never left Arizona’s. She felt herself being moved back as Bailey took her place and began a closer examination.
Silence hung in the air. It was thick and surrounded Callie so completely that she felt claustrophobic. Her heart was trying to march through her throat and the headache forming behind her eyes was keeping with the beat. She wanted to run to Arizona, she wanted to run out the door, she wanted to puke and all these feelings were swarming her body. She looked at Teddy, who was watching the examination Bailey was preforming with two nurses. “Why is this happening?” she sniffled and it was only then that she realized she was crying. “Hasn’t she been through enough?”
Teddy pulled Callie into a hug and started rubbing her back. “Everything will be okay.”
Bailey turned to the two women and shook her head slightly. “I don’t know how I missed it, but she’s been slowly bleeding internally. I think stress…” she glared at Callie, “…has made it worse. However, I can’t really be mad, since the stress is what brought it to our attention. We can take her into surgery and fix it right up.” She walked over to Callie as the nurses readied Arizona to be moved. “Had this not happened, we may have never realized and she could have died. She could have gotten an infection, become septic, so many things could have happened had we not been aware, so don’t beat yourself up.” She nodded to the nurses and then walked out of the room, the nurses pulling Arizona in her bed along with them.
Callie wiped the tears from her eyes as she watched Bailey leave, and then stepped to the bed as Arizona was passing. She could tell Arizona was in pain, but she was fighting to not show it. It warmed her heart. Arizona wanted to be strong for her. “Hey, you’re going to be fine. You have two awesome surgeons on your case and your kids and I are going to be waiting to see you when they’re all done, okay?” Arizona nodded slightly and Callie leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, to her forehead, and then to her nose. She smiled brightly when Arizona smiled at her. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Arizona croaked out, blood still trickling out of her mouth, but she maintained a smile on her lips.
Callie was holding Arizona’s hand and didn’t let go until the nurses had walked her out of the room and out of her reach. She spun around on Teddy. “Dr. Altman. You get in there and you help Bailey save my wife.”
Teddy nodded once and then started to turn away, but suddenly stopped and turned back at Callie. “I’m sorry…”
“Why?” Callie asked, raising a brow at Teddy’s odd behavior.
“I thought it was just a panic attack. When I saw her before… I thought it was a panic attack, so I didn’t order any tests or anything. I talked her through it. There was no blood and I know she was freaking and I… I’m a doctor, I should know better than just assume, but I did because of how well I know her.” Teddy lowered her head slightly, “So I’m sorry.” She went to turn and leave when Callie’s hand grabbed her arm.
“Hey, don’t you dare beat yourself up. You did the right thing. And I guess, in a way, Monica saved Arizona…” Teddy gave Callie a strange look. “Yeah, if I hadn’t invited her here to talk to Arizona, she might not have been stressed enough to bring on those symptoms. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened had it gone on undiagnosed.”
Teddy offered a small smile and pulled Callie into another hug, “She’s going to be alright.”
“I know,” Callie replied.
“Okay, get your family here and sit with them. Hopefully, we won’t be in there too long.” Teddy spun around and headed off to the OR.
Callie took in a deep breath and gave herself a moment to break down in the empty room. She cried for the pain Arizona was going through simply because she loved someone. Regardless of how long ago it may have been, all of this pain was because she fell in love with another girl. It made Callie angry to know what Arizona went through in the past and to watch it haunt her even now. It wasn’t fair that her wife’s past came and literally stabbed her in the back after she was settled down with a wife and kids.
She did her best to catch her breath and slipped into the bathroom. She wiped her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like she aged ten years since all this messed started. She would go home tonight with the kids and sleep at home. Arizona had been after her to do so, but she always refused, wanting to stay with her wife. Maybe actually listening will help Arizona feel better after a second surgery. It would also give Arizona some time to process, especially after the conversation with Monica earlier.
She knew her wife was upset, but she hadn’t seen Arizona so angry before. And the refusal to forgive seemed harsh, even to Callie, though she would never blame her wife. Maybe when the surgery was done and Arizona was safe, she would tell her that Monica kind of saved her life. Maybe that will change her mind on forgiving Monica. Maybe since the woman seemed so genuine about wanting Arizona know how sorry she was and that despite everything, Arizona helped her get away from a homophobic and abusive family, maybe forgiveness could be given.
Just maybe.