Something is amiss.
I am back from belize, and while I will give a full rundown of the things that happenned (oh it was busy doing so much nothing) I ave to say what has ocuppied my attention as of late is something entirely different.
Mainly, why do girls seem hell bent on destroying me.
It's a question that I have had some hesitation about posting lately, but fuck it. I don't think anyone actually reads my shitcept for diana, chris, and britney, and frankly, those two girls have caused less damage to me then most anyone I know, so they are cool in my book.
by the way, this is a total rant.
so, I have plenty of female friends right? and sure, I just got out of a relationship, a fairly serious one, but that was almost 4 months ago. It's been time to move on. And at first it was fine. I had met three girls who helped to ease my way through things and it was great, but none of them particularly interested me *(well one did, but we both knew it wasn't the time. less then 30 days post break up is fairly...soon).
But ever since the last one, things have not been floating in my favor. I meet a girl, she flirts with me, and then suddenly, they just stop. and I don't mean just flirting. I mean they stop talking to me all together.
And fuck it I am so venting right now, I'm gonna start naming names.
(edit: in restrospect, the names thing, well, it wasn't the brightest, but oh well. in any case, I've taken out the names of the people that i actually am ok with, especially the entries about them, because you never know who is reading these things, even if I think it's only three people.)
First there was brooke, who went out with me a few times, (kinda used me for a free ride to some things, and may not have even said thank you, so I'm better off anyways) made out, and then stopped talking (the official reason, still hung up on ex... from a year ago. could be true... no talky though).
next was cheryl, who frankly I was crushing on something hard core... but no good, and it's ok if she wants to date, I repeat date, some one else, but I haven't heard hyde nor hair in like 2 weeks, and she has my damn book. Even lent it out to some one else. and I'm sorry, but that copy of fight club is precious to me.
then rylee, who I had a great time with, and had fun with me. We chatted it up really nice, got on well, gave all the signs of flirtation (unnecisary physical contact, closeness, the vauely obscurred hints and mentions of us dating) and then, we kiss.... and nothing. not a word in three or four weeks, other then to cancel plans...
(edited for my sanity)
...That makes like 4 or 5 girls that I have expressed physical interest in that have all stopped, dead in their fuckin tracks stopped talking to me and I am going fuckin insane!!!!!!!!!!
Ok.
breath.
Probably what bothers me the most is the fact that i don't understand why... I mean am I just brilliantly talented at picking up on women who have a need to pack me in, and then not do the decent thing of even sending me a post...and now it's getting to the point where I don't even want to say anything to another girl ever again. Like any interest seems to be the death knell of speaking to them, and frankly, I just... argh!!!!.
wow. I'm a lot more heated about this then I thought. It was actually a thought that occurred this week, while I was in belize. I met a nice english bird, and a girly from wisconsin, and I simply lost the desire to pursue any sort of fling because I figured, whats the point. They're just going to stammer off home in a minute anyways. Even the really nice (and cute) canadian girl, who was obviously being hit on by other guys, when she expressed interest in me, I was TERIFIED of doing/saying anything that showed that Was interested in the slightest, because I wanted to speak to her past that week, and now... now...
oh I don't know. I wonder if now it's to late. I don't mean the friend zone, I mean the process of being 60 miles (that's 96 Km to you metric folk) from her that makes it really innappropriate to say anything, and then it's even more awkward the next time I see her, because there won't be the heat from having been near each other, and she'll be around all her old friends, and I'll be even more the outsider and ....god I am so screwed up.
What I get for reading high fidelity twice in one week. I am like rob, I am of that disposition.
And then there are the constant attempts by other girls to press something I don't want, and their insistence is making me even more reluctant to do anything............................................
Hey... at least I got my collide CD's in the mail.
anyways. my belize experience will come out soon. The next few days are gonna be busy because I need to fix my INCREDIBLY messed up work schedule from being gone.
sorry guys. that was long. yeah it was. night, and sleep well.
P.S. oh, and I almost forgot. My mere presece seems to have a strange effect on ex's. colleen nearly burst out of a resturaunt when I walked in, and meghan actually called and talked to me, for whatever reason I'm still not sure. but really. I'm going to bed.
Mainly, why do girls seem hell bent on destroying me.
It's a question that I have had some hesitation about posting lately, but fuck it. I don't think anyone actually reads my shitcept for diana, chris, and britney, and frankly, those two girls have caused less damage to me then most anyone I know, so they are cool in my book.
by the way, this is a total rant.
so, I have plenty of female friends right? and sure, I just got out of a relationship, a fairly serious one, but that was almost 4 months ago. It's been time to move on. And at first it was fine. I had met three girls who helped to ease my way through things and it was great, but none of them particularly interested me *(well one did, but we both knew it wasn't the time. less then 30 days post break up is fairly...soon).
But ever since the last one, things have not been floating in my favor. I meet a girl, she flirts with me, and then suddenly, they just stop. and I don't mean just flirting. I mean they stop talking to me all together.
And fuck it I am so venting right now, I'm gonna start naming names.
(edit: in restrospect, the names thing, well, it wasn't the brightest, but oh well. in any case, I've taken out the names of the people that i actually am ok with, especially the entries about them, because you never know who is reading these things, even if I think it's only three people.)
First there was brooke, who went out with me a few times, (kinda used me for a free ride to some things, and may not have even said thank you, so I'm better off anyways) made out, and then stopped talking (the official reason, still hung up on ex... from a year ago. could be true... no talky though).
next was cheryl, who frankly I was crushing on something hard core... but no good, and it's ok if she wants to date, I repeat date, some one else, but I haven't heard hyde nor hair in like 2 weeks, and she has my damn book. Even lent it out to some one else. and I'm sorry, but that copy of fight club is precious to me.
then rylee, who I had a great time with, and had fun with me. We chatted it up really nice, got on well, gave all the signs of flirtation (unnecisary physical contact, closeness, the vauely obscurred hints and mentions of us dating) and then, we kiss.... and nothing. not a word in three or four weeks, other then to cancel plans...
(edited for my sanity)
...That makes like 4 or 5 girls that I have expressed physical interest in that have all stopped, dead in their fuckin tracks stopped talking to me and I am going fuckin insane!!!!!!!!!!
Ok.
breath.
Probably what bothers me the most is the fact that i don't understand why... I mean am I just brilliantly talented at picking up on women who have a need to pack me in, and then not do the decent thing of even sending me a post...and now it's getting to the point where I don't even want to say anything to another girl ever again. Like any interest seems to be the death knell of speaking to them, and frankly, I just... argh!!!!.
wow. I'm a lot more heated about this then I thought. It was actually a thought that occurred this week, while I was in belize. I met a nice english bird, and a girly from wisconsin, and I simply lost the desire to pursue any sort of fling because I figured, whats the point. They're just going to stammer off home in a minute anyways. Even the really nice (and cute) canadian girl, who was obviously being hit on by other guys, when she expressed interest in me, I was TERIFIED of doing/saying anything that showed that Was interested in the slightest, because I wanted to speak to her past that week, and now... now...
oh I don't know. I wonder if now it's to late. I don't mean the friend zone, I mean the process of being 60 miles (that's 96 Km to you metric folk) from her that makes it really innappropriate to say anything, and then it's even more awkward the next time I see her, because there won't be the heat from having been near each other, and she'll be around all her old friends, and I'll be even more the outsider and ....god I am so screwed up.
What I get for reading high fidelity twice in one week. I am like rob, I am of that disposition.
And then there are the constant attempts by other girls to press something I don't want, and their insistence is making me even more reluctant to do anything............................................
Hey... at least I got my collide CD's in the mail.
anyways. my belize experience will come out soon. The next few days are gonna be busy because I need to fix my INCREDIBLY messed up work schedule from being gone.
sorry guys. that was long. yeah it was. night, and sleep well.
P.S. oh, and I almost forgot. My mere presece seems to have a strange effect on ex's. colleen nearly burst out of a resturaunt when I walked in, and meghan actually called and talked to me, for whatever reason I'm still not sure. but really. I'm going to bed.