What Do I Need and Why?

[maiasaura_nest]

Honestly, I think the biggest thing I need is attention. The question, really, is why I need attention so badly, when I've lived without it for so long.

Note: I realize that I haven't mentioned anything about this Dom yet, or how we met, or anything about our relationship. It will happen eventually, since it's pretty much the center of my universe

Comments

[angel_has_fun]

i am glad that you sent him the link as that was what was going through my mind as i read this is that if he is going to be your Dom, he needs to understand what is going on in your head. It never feels right to me when i read the journal of a sub (never mind a slave) whose Master or Dom is not aware of her journal. They need every avenue they can get into our minds so that they can do their job.

Will you be writing more in the future about his experience as a Dom?

angel

[maiasaura_nest]

Yeah, I kept feeling guilty that he didn't know about it. On the one hand, I was scared to tell him about it. But I know he was getting frustrated because of my lack of communication, and since I couldn't quite manage to say it, I texted the link to him. And then I wanted to take it back.

I hadn't thought about writing anything about his experience, but I guess it's relevant. Of course, now that he knows about this journal, it will have to be with his permission. But I'll ask!

Thanks for commenting! I love getting comments. :)

[angel_has_fun]

i hope his reading this journal is a very positive step on your journey.

i will look forward to reading whatever you can write in the future about how his reading your journal impacts your journey with him.

angel

[maiasaura_nest]

I will certainly be writing more about what happens from here on out. I just don't know if he's all that interested in reading it. I think he'd much prefer that I just tell him what I'm thinking and feeling. The question is whether or not I'll be able to.

[angel_has_fun]

your comment again makes me wonder about how much experience your Dom has as i have never heard of an experienced Dom who (1) did not want to learn as much about the inner workings of their sub or slaves as they could using any tool available to them and (2) who did not understand the importance of things like journals (either written or electronic) because sometimes it is easier to put things we are struggling with into a journal and share that then to directly say in conversation what we are struggling with. (i.e., a journal is an important tool for gaining the understanding i mentioned in (1) above.

it is not a coincidence that so many Doms for so many years have required their girls to keep journals.

angel