Spring cleaning
Things are so beautiful here. It's a joy to watch the sun set as golden light wraps the woods and mountains like a shawl. Kids play all over the neighborhood. I played catch with the little 2 years old girl across the way, and gave her a flower hat. She couldn't stop looking at her reflection in the mirror. I feel warm and happy when connecting to other people, plants, and gardening, and then I retreat into mind suck between the computer and I.
I'm having a rough transition back into the working world, as in I'm not working much. I think I spend maybe 15 hours a week doing something that will eventually lead to making money, but mostly I'm just spending it, or not spending quite so much of it by doing/making it myself. Making granola and cooking beans, planting seeds. I've been doing a ton of thrifting, refinishing/painting, and box crafting. I want the look of well organized and designed, but not the cost. The current look is a bit sloppy as many things have no proper place. It's funny how not working can make me feel less valued. There's nothing like painting glue on cardboard for hours to make me question how I'm using my time. I want to get back to the feeling of helping people and using my brain to solve complex problems. I'm just not putting in the work to get there. I'm also luxuriating in this time period, because I know once things get going with my practice, and eventually ... kids, I will be very busy and I just won't have time/energy to do this mindless stuff.
I'm currently doing a StrongBodyLove Boot camp that my friend Ashley is running. It's a love your mind/body emotional release support group and we are starting a "cleanse" on Thursday. Not at all severe like Master Cleanse, just eat whole nutrient rich foods and give up gluten, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, dairy and processed foods. It's vegan for four days, then you add in organic fish and eggs. I was doing pretty well eating clean, meditating and then today I'm feeling more down. I'm so sugar cravings, ice cream, cookies, toast, granola. Anything sweet I could get my hands on went into my mouth. Perhaps I had to eat all the sugary goodness to get it out of my system. That and binge youtubing. Tomorrow I will go for a short run! I discovered that I still don't like running much, but I love how I mentally feel afterwards. I had hoped to continue swimming regularly here, but I haven't found a pool I like. Here's to a more peaceful tomorrow!