185.
My head is spinnng & I'm sat still, afternoon dozes & wearing a watch thats stopped & this time I know I was somehow deliberately fucking with my own head.
I've lost minutes & hours today & I don't know where they've gone. My eyes are open & I am seeing things in focus, but nothing is being registered. I have work later, it's almost too dystopian to be true. I want someone to lift me up & place me back into this world & this reality, I'm not touching it right now & I feel about as stable as a feather floating on the wind.
I want something tangible again, thoughts & feelings can run away, I need to be hit by a train or something, knock the air into me, or out of me. I do feel like i'm holding my breath. I know I'm not though, oh I don't like this & I have such an urge to lay down & hold my head crying 'make it stop'.
Please make it stop
I've lost minutes & hours today & I don't know where they've gone. My eyes are open & I am seeing things in focus, but nothing is being registered. I have work later, it's almost too dystopian to be true. I want someone to lift me up & place me back into this world & this reality, I'm not touching it right now & I feel about as stable as a feather floating on the wind.
I want something tangible again, thoughts & feelings can run away, I need to be hit by a train or something, knock the air into me, or out of me. I do feel like i'm holding my breath. I know I'm not though, oh I don't like this & I have such an urge to lay down & hold my head crying 'make it stop'.
Please make it stop