An Average Day
This happened a while ago but I don't think I ever mentioned it.
I was at work and I got a call on the radio saying that some woman's kettle wasn't working and to go help her out. A lot of the time guests don't realize that the outlets are activated by a lightswitch so I went to her room first to see if the kettle was broken or if it was just the outlet. When I got there she said in her British accent that, "The cord on the kettle doesn't reach the outlet." It was on a table and it didn't reach... so I moved it to a counter and it could reach the outlet easily and it started working fine. She suddenly got really angry and started yelling.
"No! That shouldn't be the case! This is Rubbish!"
I thought she was crazy because I had no idea what she was angry about.
"If the kettle is in a certain spot it should stay in that spot! It shouldn't have to be moved! This room is unorganized. Am I expected to move the kettle to that counter EVERY TIME I want a cup of tea?!"
"Uh... you can just leave the kettle there."
"No. No. This won't do. Rubbish. This is a joke. This room is completely unacceptable."
"Oooooooooo...kay... Do you want to... switch rooms?" <- read with very high inflection on 'rooms'
"Yes. Yes I do."
So I left and called front desk and told them the stupid situation. They were baffled but agreed to switch rooms for the crazy lady.
Then I got another call on the radio. Some other lady on the 6th floor had switched rooms earlier but she accidentally left her medication in the first room so I needed to let her back into her old room. I went up to the 6th floor and she was sitting on the floor in the hall, leaning against the wall, sobbing loudly. She had a thick Spanish accent and didn't make much sense.
I pretty much ran with her to her old room and opened it for her. She started tearing the place apart. Looking behind blinds, under the bedsheets, in the closet. The last place she looked was in the fridge, which she reached into and pulled out an avocado. She screamed with joy and clutched it to her bosom.
I stood in the doorway, staring like an idiot, more confused than I'd ever been.
Then she left to go back to her old room, murmuring stuff in Spanish I couldn't understand.
Then I got another call on the radio saying that some woman's radio wasn't working and to go help her out. I go there and who opens the door? It was the first lady again in her new room. Her radio is on.
"I don't like this radio. It's constantly making noise."
"Well, then. Let's turn it off." I wasn't trying to be a smart-ass. I was just still confused by the last call and wasn't thinking properly. The British lady gave me a cold stare.
"No. I mean the buzzing. Can't you hear the buzzing sound?"
She obviously meant the slight white noise you hear when you listen to the radio sometimes. I fiddled with the channel until it was clearer. It still wasn't clear enough apparently. I don't know why I even tried, but I attempted to explain to her the very little I remembered from grade 9 science about the nature of FM radiowaves and how it means that there is literally nothing to do to fix the buzzing except maybe building a really tall antennae, demolishing all the buildings and mountains in between us and the radio tower, or choosing a different station. I only suggested the last one though. She wasn't happy with that suggestion.
"Do you want to... switch rooms?" same inflection as before.
They say that drinks are ice-cold. That would suck if a drink was ice-cold because it would be solid. "Here's a beer Mitch. It's ice-cold." "Goddam it! I guess I can lick it."
- Andrew
I was at work and I got a call on the radio saying that some woman's kettle wasn't working and to go help her out. A lot of the time guests don't realize that the outlets are activated by a lightswitch so I went to her room first to see if the kettle was broken or if it was just the outlet. When I got there she said in her British accent that, "The cord on the kettle doesn't reach the outlet." It was on a table and it didn't reach... so I moved it to a counter and it could reach the outlet easily and it started working fine. She suddenly got really angry and started yelling.
"No! That shouldn't be the case! This is Rubbish!"
I thought she was crazy because I had no idea what she was angry about.
"If the kettle is in a certain spot it should stay in that spot! It shouldn't have to be moved! This room is unorganized. Am I expected to move the kettle to that counter EVERY TIME I want a cup of tea?!"
"Uh... you can just leave the kettle there."
"No. No. This won't do. Rubbish. This is a joke. This room is completely unacceptable."
"Oooooooooo...kay... Do you want to... switch rooms?" <- read with very high inflection on 'rooms'
"Yes. Yes I do."
So I left and called front desk and told them the stupid situation. They were baffled but agreed to switch rooms for the crazy lady.
Then I got another call on the radio. Some other lady on the 6th floor had switched rooms earlier but she accidentally left her medication in the first room so I needed to let her back into her old room. I went up to the 6th floor and she was sitting on the floor in the hall, leaning against the wall, sobbing loudly. She had a thick Spanish accent and didn't make much sense.
I pretty much ran with her to her old room and opened it for her. She started tearing the place apart. Looking behind blinds, under the bedsheets, in the closet. The last place she looked was in the fridge, which she reached into and pulled out an avocado. She screamed with joy and clutched it to her bosom.
I stood in the doorway, staring like an idiot, more confused than I'd ever been.
Then she left to go back to her old room, murmuring stuff in Spanish I couldn't understand.
Then I got another call on the radio saying that some woman's radio wasn't working and to go help her out. I go there and who opens the door? It was the first lady again in her new room. Her radio is on.
"I don't like this radio. It's constantly making noise."
"Well, then. Let's turn it off." I wasn't trying to be a smart-ass. I was just still confused by the last call and wasn't thinking properly. The British lady gave me a cold stare.
"No. I mean the buzzing. Can't you hear the buzzing sound?"
She obviously meant the slight white noise you hear when you listen to the radio sometimes. I fiddled with the channel until it was clearer. It still wasn't clear enough apparently. I don't know why I even tried, but I attempted to explain to her the very little I remembered from grade 9 science about the nature of FM radiowaves and how it means that there is literally nothing to do to fix the buzzing except maybe building a really tall antennae, demolishing all the buildings and mountains in between us and the radio tower, or choosing a different station. I only suggested the last one though. She wasn't happy with that suggestion.
"Do you want to... switch rooms?" same inflection as before.
They say that drinks are ice-cold. That would suck if a drink was ice-cold because it would be solid. "Here's a beer Mitch. It's ice-cold." "Goddam it! I guess I can lick it."
- Andrew