The best movie ever
Tonight I went with some people to see an epic film at the Rave theater. We were the only guys in the entire theater, minus the ones who were there with a girl (but they don't count). The movie itself was enlightening, refreshing, and charmingly funny. It nailed a lot of truths about High School, and yes I am speaking of "Mean Girls" starring Lindsay Lohan. Upon entering the theater, I noticed that it was packed with giggling girls who were all wearing trucker hats and talking on their cell phones. So immediately I thought "Oh no, now I won't be able to enjoy Mean Girls" but surprisingly everyone behaved. The eight of us were probably the loudest people there to be honest.
So I guess there's only two weeks of High School left for me. If my life were a movie, this would be the climax (or the falling action I guess) and anything after this would be sequels where some of the lead actors return, but not all of them. I've been trying to enjoy what time I have left, trying to not hate it so much, but somehow I can't stop thinking about how much it sucks. This last month of school has literally drained me of feeling and compassion. I don't care about anything anymore, and that seriously scares me. I just want it to end, for it to be over with. And yet, I know somewhere in the back of my head that someday I'll be lying in bed and I'll think back to some of the better times I had, and I'm gonna miss it. Of course then I will remember what a pain in my ass Superwrite was. Perhaps what I fear the most out of all of this is change. After the end of each consecutive year of High School, I knew exactly what to expect from the coming year. But now the continuity is ending, and I have no idea what to expect from college, or anything beyond that. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't even know what I want to major in, if I want to have a family, whether I want to be rich or not, whether I want to live in this area or not, or anything else for that matter. I suppose that's okay for now, when I'm only 18, but I keep having this sinking feeling that it's going to stay this way. I guess the things I'm going to miss the most about school aren't the bullshit classes, the worthless teachers, or the bullshit teenage angst shit that goes down everywhere you look. Instead, I'm really going to miss the people. There are those people that I only see in school, that I most likely will never see again, and then there are my close friends who I hang out with on the outside. Will those relationships change at all by my going to Bradley next year? Most likely, whether it be for better or worse. I've been reading a lot of my old livejournal entries lately, and just remembering other shit we did over the last year or so. I realized that out of all those entries, and out of all those memories, the times where I had the most fun were the times I was with those people. I guess I just don't want the best times of my life to be behind me. I want college and whatever comes after that to be just as great, and I want it to be fun for the same reason: because of the people I'm with. Because in the end, I don't care whether or not I have money, a great job, or a nice car. I just want to be around people I love, people who make me happy. So maybe what I really want from life is to just be happy, whether I'm uber-rich or not. But then again you can't major in happiness at Bradley.
So I guess there's only two weeks of High School left for me. If my life were a movie, this would be the climax (or the falling action I guess) and anything after this would be sequels where some of the lead actors return, but not all of them. I've been trying to enjoy what time I have left, trying to not hate it so much, but somehow I can't stop thinking about how much it sucks. This last month of school has literally drained me of feeling and compassion. I don't care about anything anymore, and that seriously scares me. I just want it to end, for it to be over with. And yet, I know somewhere in the back of my head that someday I'll be lying in bed and I'll think back to some of the better times I had, and I'm gonna miss it. Of course then I will remember what a pain in my ass Superwrite was. Perhaps what I fear the most out of all of this is change. After the end of each consecutive year of High School, I knew exactly what to expect from the coming year. But now the continuity is ending, and I have no idea what to expect from college, or anything beyond that. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don't even know what I want to major in, if I want to have a family, whether I want to be rich or not, whether I want to live in this area or not, or anything else for that matter. I suppose that's okay for now, when I'm only 18, but I keep having this sinking feeling that it's going to stay this way. I guess the things I'm going to miss the most about school aren't the bullshit classes, the worthless teachers, or the bullshit teenage angst shit that goes down everywhere you look. Instead, I'm really going to miss the people. There are those people that I only see in school, that I most likely will never see again, and then there are my close friends who I hang out with on the outside. Will those relationships change at all by my going to Bradley next year? Most likely, whether it be for better or worse. I've been reading a lot of my old livejournal entries lately, and just remembering other shit we did over the last year or so. I realized that out of all those entries, and out of all those memories, the times where I had the most fun were the times I was with those people. I guess I just don't want the best times of my life to be behind me. I want college and whatever comes after that to be just as great, and I want it to be fun for the same reason: because of the people I'm with. Because in the end, I don't care whether or not I have money, a great job, or a nice car. I just want to be around people I love, people who make me happy. So maybe what I really want from life is to just be happy, whether I'm uber-rich or not. But then again you can't major in happiness at Bradley.