(no subject)
A friend of mine was found dead in his room this morning. No one knows the cause of his death yet, but most theories revolve around alcohol.
Thinking about it disturbs me. I keep trying to come up with words for why it disturbs me so much, but it's sort of an intangible idea. I think it is this fear of things which have an assumed outcome but turn out completely different. We set tracks for ourselves. You say, "I am going to do this tonight, and then tomorrow I will do this, and then next week I will do this, and then next summer I will do this." So then you're dead in the morning? How does that work? Who decided that was ok? Next week is coming and you're supposed to be around for it...
I remember smoking with him in his room and I remember ditzy-jessie making out with him and then complaining that his tongue was like sandpaper and I remember him walking us home after parties and I remember the night when he miserably lost at a game of beer pong and had to run around naked and it was pretty funny in an I-really-don't-want-to-see-you-running-around-naked sort of way. I guess I won't be going to the party he invited me to tomorrow. I guess he won't either.
Thinking about it disturbs me. I keep trying to come up with words for why it disturbs me so much, but it's sort of an intangible idea. I think it is this fear of things which have an assumed outcome but turn out completely different. We set tracks for ourselves. You say, "I am going to do this tonight, and then tomorrow I will do this, and then next week I will do this, and then next summer I will do this." So then you're dead in the morning? How does that work? Who decided that was ok? Next week is coming and you're supposed to be around for it...
I remember smoking with him in his room and I remember ditzy-jessie making out with him and then complaining that his tongue was like sandpaper and I remember him walking us home after parties and I remember the night when he miserably lost at a game of beer pong and had to run around naked and it was pretty funny in an I-really-don't-want-to-see-you-running-around-naked sort of way. I guess I won't be going to the party he invited me to tomorrow. I guess he won't either.