(Untitled)

[magiuspendragon]

I've been trying to write this entry all morning. Something keeps chaning: I feel bad for writing it, afraid that someone will see it and think it's about them. Or thinking that I should bring it up with the person first. But that's the problem, and every time I talk about it, I feel like a broken record. And if there's one thing I learned in my 25

Comments

[_pensword_]

I think that part of the reason you're running into problems is that you are insecure in how you view yourself, and consequently in how you think other people view you. I think if you gain self-confidence, you will gain several other important things: 1) You will respect yourself. 2) You will be able to judge how other people view you through that screen of respect, rather than thinking others would disrespect you since you disrespect yourself. 3) You will be able to judge other people's actions & reactions through what you know about their personalities, rather than thinking the worst of how someone would treat you.

If you are able to analyze a situation objectively and dismiss illogical possibilities (pretend it's a computer program!), then you might be able to avoid situations where you feel like you've made a mistake in judgment (or whatever).

I'm not just saying that because of me...I'm saying that because I feel like I'm seeing a pattern.

And obviously whoever you saw for counseling are idiots, if they can't help when you ask.

Also, I have noticed that you seem to get into situations where people don't treat you as they should. I think part of that is again the insecurity: at the time, you don't feel like you deserve to ask for better, or you don't want to upset the other person/people involved, so you let it happen. I think that building your self-confidence will help with that too. If you have respect for yourself, you'll be able to say no to situations that make you uncomfortable or that harm you in other ways. (I'm saying this from experience...I finally stood up and said no to the emotionally abusive jerk that is now my ex. It took a while, but I finally got enough self-respect to get out of that situation.)

If you want to talk about this, let me know. I won't have much time during the week this week (first week of classes), but I think I'll have more time Fri. morning & this weekend.

*hugs* Feel better, ok? You are a worthwhile person...I know it's difficult, but you just need to remember that, and keep telling yourself until you believe it.