family sucks sometimes

[magicwondershow]

it's official. my mother is only visiting for three days or so. technically four, but one day is taken up with meghan's baptism and party. and i'm really, really quite upset about it

Comments

[fieldofdreams]

I fear that I would become like my mother, behavior is genetic but I remind myself everyday that I am not here. I do have some of her good qualities but I can't blame my mother for how she raised me, simply by the environment she herself was raised in. I have to let that go, but it's hard, because I still think it's fucked up on so many levels. That my entire life has been shifted around my mother, I'm 23 and it still is. She is still over protecitve, still treats my like a highschooler, still compares me to others etc. and my mentality is so fucked up that at times I don't feel 23, I still feel 16

[skittles]

As nice as it would be for her to have the well-rounded, whole, happy family on both sides, I think your daughter is going to know just how lucky and loved she is, regardless of her extended family. Even if she only had you in the world, it would be more than enough. The fact that she has you and Billy and Billy's family and all of your friends... It's like bonus material. It sucks that she won't get to know your mother the way you would like her to, but at the same time, I can't help but think (and forgive me if I step out of line) that it might be a blessing in disguise. Meghan needs love in her life, not poison and guilt and a history of abuse. Regardless of whether or not your mother sees her regularly, that little girl is going to be one of the luckiest in the world because she has you as her mother. Don't let the negative things get you down. Focus on all of the good

[magicwondershow]

you are amazing. thank you. i needed to hear all of that. i really, really did. i know cognitively that megs will be perfectly fine without my mother's drama filling her world. i just don't want to admit it in many ways. i guess i just really hope that somehow, meghan will inspire my mother to admit she has problems, that she was not the best parent in the past, and make some real changes in her life. but i need to not dwell on that, and do what's best for my little girl.

you and jen figure out schedules, etc, and we'll go from there. idk how soon you're thinking, but next weekend is the last 'free' weekend i have. the one after it is her baptism, and then i go back to work. but i can always swing work schedules to try to make things work. just let me know.

and i love you too.