(no subject)
*Okay so this is a restored draft from about 3 weeks ago that I want to keep, and then I will make a new post that pertains to today. :)
I am not doing as well on my own with the dieting. I am eating better. Subway instead of McDonald's (half the time) and the last frozen pizza from before the dieting decision was made is still in the freezer. However, I am still eating some junk, and I am not doing well in packing lunch for school, meaning I grab whatever snacks that are in the callcenter. Sometimes they have healthier things, and sometimes they have things like veggie chips, but even those aren't healthy, so I end up eating a cup of noodles, which is also not good. I stopped drinking pop at first, but I failed in that after a while. It has been a week. Not proud of myself, but I am not completely beating myself up over it. I keep telling myself to cool it, try again the next day, and that maybe when I start at Curves, it will be a little better. I will have a support system, and I won't be completely alone in this. I am, however getting a lot of support on Tumblr from friends, which has showed me that all this time I had more people in my corner than I originally thought. That is comforting.
I have been going through forums on Waygook.org. So far, my fears keep being eased little by little. It will be tough, but I don't think it will be more than I can handle. Some concerns, such as being my gender aren't as big as I imagined them to be. It is mostly in my head. Dress codes at work in the public schools are a little more relaxed, so I may never have to wear a skirt to work unless it is summer because shorts and short sleeved stuff aren't seen as professional and I would need to air things out somehow. The black skirt I wore a little bit the other day. It was fine, but I would have to wear something over it to keep it down. I think it could get pulled down pretty easily, and I am a walking disaster sometimes. My luck states I would step on the end and it would slip down for all of the middle schoolers to see. :) There have been some new things to consider, but I am not as worried about them yet. One is sickness. Since I have been in Olympia, I think I have gotten sick a lot due to there being so many trees (and so much mold), as well as my work in the family shelter, where it is a melting pot of germs. I think there are a lot of people getting sick a lot in Korea because the body isn't used to the germs of the other country. I need more research at this point in time, but it has to due with dry air and yellow dust of some sort. The only other thing I can think of is that in a lot of places, the public schools are getting rid of guest English teachers, and this is a shame because I was hoping for a public school job and not a hagwon (after school tutoring buisness similar to like Sylvan learning centers in Seattle). I hear a lot more horror stories about hagwons and I also think the hours of public school suit me a little better, so I would be sad if this was the case in the next year or so when I plan to go in. So far it seems only in Seoul, but I think that is where the gay bars are, so this will be a little difficult in that area because I will have to be closeted about that as well. I could actually get away with it for the most part. I would be over 30 so I don't think anyone would try and matchmake me, and I do have enough knowledge of kdramas to point out some of the male actors and say 'he's my husband' and play around like that. I am in this point in time very doubtful that V and I will be together in this time, so I won't have to worry about lying about whether I am seeing someone. I also don't think any Korean men would be hitting on me unless they were older ajusshi's (middle aged or older men).
I am not doing as well on my own with the dieting. I am eating better. Subway instead of McDonald's (half the time) and the last frozen pizza from before the dieting decision was made is still in the freezer. However, I am still eating some junk, and I am not doing well in packing lunch for school, meaning I grab whatever snacks that are in the callcenter. Sometimes they have healthier things, and sometimes they have things like veggie chips, but even those aren't healthy, so I end up eating a cup of noodles, which is also not good. I stopped drinking pop at first, but I failed in that after a while. It has been a week. Not proud of myself, but I am not completely beating myself up over it. I keep telling myself to cool it, try again the next day, and that maybe when I start at Curves, it will be a little better. I will have a support system, and I won't be completely alone in this. I am, however getting a lot of support on Tumblr from friends, which has showed me that all this time I had more people in my corner than I originally thought. That is comforting.
I have been going through forums on Waygook.org. So far, my fears keep being eased little by little. It will be tough, but I don't think it will be more than I can handle. Some concerns, such as being my gender aren't as big as I imagined them to be. It is mostly in my head. Dress codes at work in the public schools are a little more relaxed, so I may never have to wear a skirt to work unless it is summer because shorts and short sleeved stuff aren't seen as professional and I would need to air things out somehow. The black skirt I wore a little bit the other day. It was fine, but I would have to wear something over it to keep it down. I think it could get pulled down pretty easily, and I am a walking disaster sometimes. My luck states I would step on the end and it would slip down for all of the middle schoolers to see. :) There have been some new things to consider, but I am not as worried about them yet. One is sickness. Since I have been in Olympia, I think I have gotten sick a lot due to there being so many trees (and so much mold), as well as my work in the family shelter, where it is a melting pot of germs. I think there are a lot of people getting sick a lot in Korea because the body isn't used to the germs of the other country. I need more research at this point in time, but it has to due with dry air and yellow dust of some sort. The only other thing I can think of is that in a lot of places, the public schools are getting rid of guest English teachers, and this is a shame because I was hoping for a public school job and not a hagwon (after school tutoring buisness similar to like Sylvan learning centers in Seattle). I hear a lot more horror stories about hagwons and I also think the hours of public school suit me a little better, so I would be sad if this was the case in the next year or so when I plan to go in. So far it seems only in Seoul, but I think that is where the gay bars are, so this will be a little difficult in that area because I will have to be closeted about that as well. I could actually get away with it for the most part. I would be over 30 so I don't think anyone would try and matchmake me, and I do have enough knowledge of kdramas to point out some of the male actors and say 'he's my husband' and play around like that. I am in this point in time very doubtful that V and I will be together in this time, so I won't have to worry about lying about whether I am seeing someone. I also don't think any Korean men would be hitting on me unless they were older ajusshi's (middle aged or older men).