(no subject)

Dec 07, 2011 15:23

Today is a girly sort of day for me. The problem is, I suppose is that I feel so shameful for feeling girly. I was born female, but I have disowned that part of me. It has caused so much shame and confusion as it stands, and for me to feel girly (damn Disney princesses) is like I have no right. Like no longer being friends with someone and yet still texting them out of the blue, or only contacting a semi-friend because you're bored. It feels wrong, just like dressing girly felt wrong, just like putting on make up to be 'feminine enough' felt wrong. I dont know what to do.

I hope this feeling of wrongness for feeling girly goes away or the feeling girly itself goes away. I made pies last night. They smelled sooooo good, but I didn't eat any because they are for a potluck today, which I am leaving to here in a bit. I need to take a quick shower. Maybe showering and putting on my AXE and stuff will make it better. Anyway, I have to perform a reading of the last third section of The Scarlet Letter. I like this section because it is two men who know the other's secret and they are sort of dancing around the other about it. So far I have been stumbling in places, but I hope that it will get better for when I have to do it in front of my class.

Judged on my reading and judged on the pies. EEP!

Erin

pies, gender identity, school

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