Marching fearlessly on
Remember viewbooks? Corny catalogs sent by colleges to high school students? Oberlin's got a new one, and boy, is it ever fearless. For those of us already at Oberlin, I'd say that this viewbook offers even more ironic humor potential than the website to which I linked in my last post.
Those awful, washed-out, different-shades-of-just-one-color pictures are still there, and it isn't any easier to tell what some of the things even are. But the real hilarity comes from its purple text, which tries its hardest to make pretty much everything sound either macho or daredevil. I don't have too much to say about what I think of this campaign that I haven't said already, but I figured you all would probably get a kick out of some of the more unfortunate slogans, with snide remarks from me when appropriate:
"We are intellectual risk takers, students for whom learning is measured by the intensity of the engagement."
The grammar is impeccable, but I'm having some trouble figuring out exactly what "the intensity of the engagement" means in any practical sense.
"We scale the heights of intellectual discovery. It is a task that requires guts. It is what we do. It is how we are."
On atmospheric physics research at the South Pole ("the most remote place on the planet"!), with relevance to global warming: "...measuring the radiation from carbon monoxide and the possiblities of its impact on future generations."
Uh, I think you guys mean carbon dioxide, and the radiation absorbed by it, not emitted from it.
"We shatter the glass of musical convention."
That doesn't sound all that positive, now, does it? Talk of musicians shattering glasses brings to mind old cartoons in which the ghastly opera singer shatters windows with her painfully high voice.
"We walk through the fire of creative expression"
Personally, I think that Buffy the Vampire Slayer's musical episode did a much better job with metaphors about walking through fire.
"Passionate adventurers dedicated to conveying ideas of the mind and notions of the heart."
On Oberlin students' helping manage the installation of an art exhibit: "An exhibit of Old Masters in a very new way."
"We harness the lightning of scientific potential."
Presumably we're aided in this fearless endeavor by the weather machine mounted atop our physics building.
Also on Oberlin's science programs: "Imagining the future, redefining the past."
Apparently we have a time machine, too.
"We defy the limits of environmental commitment."
Bullshit. No we don't. The fucking Physical Plant right next to Wilder still burns coal. We have a sexy new environmental studies building, but a lot of the rest of the college buildings aren't defying any limits besides limits on emissions.
"We break the laws of social inertia."
I think this is just masturbatory horseshit, but if you wants to read into it, you might see a rather disturbing implication that "social inertia" (i.e. class stratification) is a fundamental "law," rather than an unfortunate feature of a particular society. Continuing in this worrisome trend is...
"The only boundaries are your own."
That's right; the only boundaries on poor people are their own laziness and avarice. I mean, that's pretty much what it's saying if you think about it. It's a very reactionary message if you interpret it as anything deeper than a trite self-help book slogan (and, in fairness, I'm not at all sure you should).
"Fearless is creation, invention, intellectual debate, and declaration. It is embracing people and ideas in new and different ways to make the world a better and fairer place. It defines Oberlin's past present, and future. Fearlessness of the mind, of the body, of the heart."
You know, the word "fearless" means "without fear." Period. It doesn't mean "creative," or "intellectual," or "fair-minded," or anything else that this garbage seems to imply that it does. This is a neologism without the neo logos; "fearless" now means, simply and broadly, "good," with a sense of high-mindedness thrown in.
Those awful, washed-out, different-shades-of-just-one-color pictures are still there, and it isn't any easier to tell what some of the things even are. But the real hilarity comes from its purple text, which tries its hardest to make pretty much everything sound either macho or daredevil. I don't have too much to say about what I think of this campaign that I haven't said already, but I figured you all would probably get a kick out of some of the more unfortunate slogans, with snide remarks from me when appropriate:
"We are intellectual risk takers, students for whom learning is measured by the intensity of the engagement."
The grammar is impeccable, but I'm having some trouble figuring out exactly what "the intensity of the engagement" means in any practical sense.
"We scale the heights of intellectual discovery. It is a task that requires guts. It is what we do. It is how we are."
On atmospheric physics research at the South Pole ("the most remote place on the planet"!), with relevance to global warming: "...measuring the radiation from carbon monoxide and the possiblities of its impact on future generations."
Uh, I think you guys mean carbon dioxide, and the radiation absorbed by it, not emitted from it.
"We shatter the glass of musical convention."
That doesn't sound all that positive, now, does it? Talk of musicians shattering glasses brings to mind old cartoons in which the ghastly opera singer shatters windows with her painfully high voice.
"We walk through the fire of creative expression"
Personally, I think that Buffy the Vampire Slayer's musical episode did a much better job with metaphors about walking through fire.
"Passionate adventurers dedicated to conveying ideas of the mind and notions of the heart."
On Oberlin students' helping manage the installation of an art exhibit: "An exhibit of Old Masters in a very new way."
"We harness the lightning of scientific potential."
Presumably we're aided in this fearless endeavor by the weather machine mounted atop our physics building.
Also on Oberlin's science programs: "Imagining the future, redefining the past."
Apparently we have a time machine, too.
"We defy the limits of environmental commitment."
Bullshit. No we don't. The fucking Physical Plant right next to Wilder still burns coal. We have a sexy new environmental studies building, but a lot of the rest of the college buildings aren't defying any limits besides limits on emissions.
"We break the laws of social inertia."
I think this is just masturbatory horseshit, but if you wants to read into it, you might see a rather disturbing implication that "social inertia" (i.e. class stratification) is a fundamental "law," rather than an unfortunate feature of a particular society. Continuing in this worrisome trend is...
"The only boundaries are your own."
That's right; the only boundaries on poor people are their own laziness and avarice. I mean, that's pretty much what it's saying if you think about it. It's a very reactionary message if you interpret it as anything deeper than a trite self-help book slogan (and, in fairness, I'm not at all sure you should).
"Fearless is creation, invention, intellectual debate, and declaration. It is embracing people and ideas in new and different ways to make the world a better and fairer place. It defines Oberlin's past present, and future. Fearlessness of the mind, of the body, of the heart."
You know, the word "fearless" means "without fear." Period. It doesn't mean "creative," or "intellectual," or "fair-minded," or anything else that this garbage seems to imply that it does. This is a neologism without the neo logos; "fearless" now means, simply and broadly, "good," with a sense of high-mindedness thrown in.