Mojo Amore (RP with Lauren)

Jun 01, 2009 20:34

Follows THIS Andy stayed close to Lauren at first while she held down Barry long enough for Lizzie to pack. After a while it was clear she had the situation very much under control. He looked at Lauren and she nodded towards the bedroom for Andy to help Lizzie pack her things. He helped her as quickly as he could, wrapping breakable things in ( Read more... )

lauren, rp, bobby, lizzie

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possessingbadge June 8 2009, 00:49:56 UTC
With a sigh, she snuggled closer enjoying his kisses. She wasn't sure how to respond. She felt wanted again and not so rejected. His kiss broke through her barriers but she didn't just decide not to leave. She could argue semantics but she feared another fight ( ... )

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magicanyway June 8 2009, 01:13:48 UTC
Andy wanted her to feel more than wanted. He wanted her to feel loved. He wanted her to feel safe. He wanted her to feel like she could just let go of everything and just relax because she was with her husband. He knew she couldn't though. Not with the way things had been going. He was determined to change that ( ... )

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possessingbadge June 9 2009, 03:37:22 UTC
She was expecting an argument but he just agreed with everything. It almost made her feel guilty that she was too hard on him but there inlaid the problem. She was an enabler. He would screw up, she would tell him, he would beat himself up, she would comfort him, and he would go back to the behavior that pissed her off in the first place. She wasn't blameless.

"No matter what, there is no one else I would rather have as a husband. You have to believe that. You're it for me. If we can't make this work I don't want anyone else."

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magicanyway June 10 2009, 00:36:18 UTC
Andy didn't want argue anymore. He hadn't wanted to argue to begin with ( ... )

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possessingbadge June 10 2009, 02:14:34 UTC
She sat up and pulled the blanket up off the floor to wrap it around her. It was chilly now that things had calmed down. "You don't understand. I know you have feelings. I know they sort of take over and you just can't help yourself sometimes. It was something I had to come to terms with when you kept getting jealous. It was why I went forth with the wedding. I told myself then if I couldn't deal with the emotions I should leave but I never thought that it would mean you couldn't be there for me. I felt so alone in that place then when I woke up and saw you I could have cried. But then I really saw you. Pale, deathly skinny, stinking from not showering and completely in your own head. You waited on me hand and foot. You stayed with me every second but you were letting yourself waste away to nothing and I was alone again ( ... )

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magicanyway June 10 2009, 02:30:24 UTC
He reached for her hand and held her fingers between his. "I have never felt so guilty or so bad or so worried about anything as I did when you were gone. It took me too long to get over it. To be fair, I was there for you. I wasn't there for myself but I was with you. I stayed with you. I got you what you needed. When I saw we didn't have enough saved to pay for your hospital bills I made sure it would be paid for. I was having a breakdown but I wasn't unconscious. I rearranged our flights and our hotels and our commitments back home. I called everyone to let them know you were okay. Still I shouldn't have had that breakdown. I can't take it back but I can promise you I'm doing everything I can to get better. I won't ever stop feeling for you but I can have control over that. I can grieve when it's time to grieve. I can take time to let things settle. I can do all that breaking down stuff responsibly if I have to. Being so head over heals for someone that it hurts me when they hurt is still a learning experience for me. This was our ( ... )

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possessingbadge June 10 2009, 20:48:13 UTC
"You can't help me if you can't help yourself Andy. You were just as bad off as I was and you did it to yourself. I needed you to be strong enough for the two of us. You had to be the one okay since I couldn't be. How could you expect me to believe that everything was going to be alright and this wasn't going to beat us when I could count the ribs on your back?" She questioned her voice cracking a few times ( ... )

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magicanyway June 10 2009, 21:04:27 UTC
He had already told her he messed up. He didn't see how he could apologize for his breakdown or for not being there for her any more than he already had so he let that part drop, though he hated that she was hurt.
"I know it was fear. My wife got raped and tortured and left for dead because her husband wasn't paying close enough attention. Damn fucking straight I'm gonna be a bit more clingy. Damn fucking straight I'm gonna be on edge for a while. I..." he shook his head, trying not to get angry. He felt like it was an unfair judgment on her part. He hadn't do anything so horrible.

"I did see all that, Lauren. I told you how proud I was of what you did for your mum and how you toned back the drinking for me. That time in the plane when you could touch me was amazing. You've made so much progress. I never felt like I had to ask you if I could touch you. I thought that would be the considerate, loving thing to do after what happened before. I read books about survivors and how husbands can help and I ( ... )

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possessingbadge June 10 2009, 21:43:19 UTC
She grew quiet for a few minutes then she shrugged. "I don't know. That's why I was going to go. I can't be treated like glass forever. I can't fight every time I want some normalcy out of you. I know this all seems so petty to you but it was like I couldn't be over it until everyone else was. Every sad or scared look. Every person that asks me how I am or if I'm okay. Every friend that gets choked up. I want to get away from all of it. I want to be allowed to forget. I just want it to be over and it's never going to be over. I can't do this anymore."

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magicanyway June 10 2009, 21:54:15 UTC
"Nor should you have to," Andy said, without skipping a beat. Lauren wasn't used to having so many people care about her or a husband devoted to her. She was used to fending for herself. She was used to surviving by herself with no one else. She wasn't used to things happening to her affecting so many others. Andy decided he could accept that. She might have gone over the limit of just accepting Andy's personality but he was ready to accept her instincts and personality and needs for that what they were. He loved her and therefore he loved him. All of this was becoming clear to him. He wasn't going to let her run just because she was ruled by instincts. She had instincts. He had emotions. Together they were good. Separately they caused problems but put them together and there was a good thing. He was more convinced than ever that he was meant to be with Lauren. That they were meant to be one. "Okay. Let's not do it anymore then ( ... )

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