(no subject)
So today was a drafting day. I woke up at noon and then procrastinated until 3:00, when i started drafting. I drafted/had ADD fits until about 8:00 when i went to Mass at UD. Like always, it is good to get out. I called MJ this morning and we talked for a while, just cause we hadnt talked for a while. She was ill (not sick, cause aparently MJ never gets sick), which isn't good for her. Hopefully she will get better. I am trying not to think too much about everything that has been going on lately, but it is very difficult. I know that i have let go, and i have to stick to that, but i still think about conversations that were had and times where we hung out that i miss. I wish things hadn't changed, but looking back only hurts me more. I think im gonna try this whole leaving it in God's hands thing. A friend of mine asked me the other day whether i have been praying about this situation. Honestly i have been praying about it every night since day one. I have asked God to help this situation work out. I hope that it has worked out for the best. I keep thinking that it isn't over because i have invested so much into the last 3 or 4 months and i hate to think that it has gotten me to where i am now. I don't think that i am the only one having problems in this situation. Ok, nuff bout that, im just gonna end up depressing myself even more.
So in my ADD fits today in the graphics lab, i called Debbie from Arby's back home. I hadn't talked to her in a while. I called her to see if she had Julie (my ex-gf's) phone number. I didn't want to call Julie for any reason in particular, i just wanted to see how she's been doing. I know she's been going through a lot herself over the past year, having a kid and all. Apparently she has moved out of the house and is now living with her boyfriend. From what Debbie was saying, he treats her well, which is good. She didn't have Julie's number, so i didn't get to talk to Julie directly.
I dunno, i just seem lost at this time...still. I thought it would be easier than this, but it ain't. I am doing some major soul searching, and it will continue until i am satisfied that i am living life to the best extent that i can. I have heard that the greatest sin that one can commit is to not be the person whom one was created to be. That has stuck with me ever since i have heard it. I just need to sit down and re-analyze myself and figure out how to be the person whom i was created to be. I mentioned earlier about not being able to work this retreat that was last week. That happened for a reason. I would have usually used that retreat as a way to find me, but since i was not able to work it, I am forced to find out who i am on my own with no help. I believe that God gave me that challenge for a reason. It is all part of growing up. I guess I will just need to sit back and wait for life to happen to me rather than being one who goes out and makes my own life...if that makes sense. I dunno. Im tired tho, and so i think i will go to bed. Hopefully things will continue to work out. I am going on a retreat in April, so maybe that will help out. Goodnight all.
So in my ADD fits today in the graphics lab, i called Debbie from Arby's back home. I hadn't talked to her in a while. I called her to see if she had Julie (my ex-gf's) phone number. I didn't want to call Julie for any reason in particular, i just wanted to see how she's been doing. I know she's been going through a lot herself over the past year, having a kid and all. Apparently she has moved out of the house and is now living with her boyfriend. From what Debbie was saying, he treats her well, which is good. She didn't have Julie's number, so i didn't get to talk to Julie directly.
I dunno, i just seem lost at this time...still. I thought it would be easier than this, but it ain't. I am doing some major soul searching, and it will continue until i am satisfied that i am living life to the best extent that i can. I have heard that the greatest sin that one can commit is to not be the person whom one was created to be. That has stuck with me ever since i have heard it. I just need to sit down and re-analyze myself and figure out how to be the person whom i was created to be. I mentioned earlier about not being able to work this retreat that was last week. That happened for a reason. I would have usually used that retreat as a way to find me, but since i was not able to work it, I am forced to find out who i am on my own with no help. I believe that God gave me that challenge for a reason. It is all part of growing up. I guess I will just need to sit back and wait for life to happen to me rather than being one who goes out and makes my own life...if that makes sense. I dunno. Im tired tho, and so i think i will go to bed. Hopefully things will continue to work out. I am going on a retreat in April, so maybe that will help out. Goodnight all.