V-Day...ehh
So it's here, Valentine's Day. I wish i had someone special to spend this time with, but I don't, and that sux. O well, life goes on. So yeah, this weekend was kinda relaxing. I realized a lot of things, but i will get into that later. I was planning to sleep in on Saturday, but my cell phone rang at 8:30 in the morning and it was my Dad. Apparently he forgot to take his company cell phone to work, so i had to meet him at a mortuary (yes, my dad delivers caskets...don't worry, they're empty) to give him his phone. When i met him, he slipped me a 20. He always does that when i come home because he says that it is for gas. Im not gonna complain. Maybe i should go home more often. Because i got up so early, I had time to go with my older sister to breakfast. We went to Bob Evans. After that, I was a bum for the rest of the day. I did some AutoCAD work on my groundplan, and then i finished watching The Return of the King Extended. Now i have to find some time to watch all of them again with the various commentaries. Do they really expect people to sit down and watch 12 different commentaries? That night, my mom and little sister came home. My mom wanted to watch a movie with me. She didn't care what movie it was, just as long as it was a movie. I think it's funny that my family has special ways to spend time with me. I have 2 older sisters in college, but i am the only one that ever "comes home" because they both go to a local college. My sister Lisa always wants to go out to eat with me when i come home. My mom always wants to watch movies when i come home. My dad always gives me money when i come home. Like i said, it's weird. On Sunday, I didn't get to sleep in either. My mom cooked breakfast (yet another thing she does when i come home), so i didnt get to sleep in that morning either. After that, i went to church. After church, I finished my laundry and packed to come back to school. I got back here about 5:00.
I realized something through going home this weekend. When I am at school, I tend to lose sight of my identity. I have gotten better at it. At school, I have friends and all, but no one that's too awful close because they haven't really known me that long. At home, there are all kinds of people who love me and miss me. It made me realize that I make such a big deal of my problems at school, and if i just let go, things will work out. This puts me in a dilemma though. All of a sudden, my heart is telling me to do one thing while my head is tellin me to do something else. I feel like i should let go and leave things up to fate, but it is very difficult because I feel like i still have a chance. Every other time, i have let go, and it was easy because i realized that i didn't have a chance, but just knowing that there was (is?) something there pains me and makes it hard for me to let go.
Speaking of letting go, it was a lot easier in high school. WARNING...RELIGION RANT TO FOLLOW!!! My senior year, i went on a Christian Awakening Retreat at my high school. On that retreat, i found it was better to just "Let Go and Let God". During times like now, i know thats the best thing to do, but it is hard. I don't want to lose sight of what i learned on that reatreat, and that's why i try to work other retreats like that as often as possible. Every time i work one, i come back re-energized and ready to live a good life. It sux though because there is one of those retreats that is starting at 6:00 tonight, and i was asked to work it. Because of my schedule here at school, i had to turn it down. I really need another one of those in my life right now. The best I can do is to look back at the letters that i have gotten in the past from those people who love me. Hopefully it will help. So anyways, i feel like i have written a novel by this point. Yes...I have no life. Matt's class got cancelled (or for the Writing Center folk, is it "canceled"?) today because he got stuck in traffic. So i am a loser and went to the UWC to sit and waste time. I should be doing other things like read the script for Yellowman, but i will do that tonight. Ok, i think this is enough for y'all to process. Until next time...
I realized something through going home this weekend. When I am at school, I tend to lose sight of my identity. I have gotten better at it. At school, I have friends and all, but no one that's too awful close because they haven't really known me that long. At home, there are all kinds of people who love me and miss me. It made me realize that I make such a big deal of my problems at school, and if i just let go, things will work out. This puts me in a dilemma though. All of a sudden, my heart is telling me to do one thing while my head is tellin me to do something else. I feel like i should let go and leave things up to fate, but it is very difficult because I feel like i still have a chance. Every other time, i have let go, and it was easy because i realized that i didn't have a chance, but just knowing that there was (is?) something there pains me and makes it hard for me to let go.
Speaking of letting go, it was a lot easier in high school. WARNING...RELIGION RANT TO FOLLOW!!! My senior year, i went on a Christian Awakening Retreat at my high school. On that retreat, i found it was better to just "Let Go and Let God". During times like now, i know thats the best thing to do, but it is hard. I don't want to lose sight of what i learned on that reatreat, and that's why i try to work other retreats like that as often as possible. Every time i work one, i come back re-energized and ready to live a good life. It sux though because there is one of those retreats that is starting at 6:00 tonight, and i was asked to work it. Because of my schedule here at school, i had to turn it down. I really need another one of those in my life right now. The best I can do is to look back at the letters that i have gotten in the past from those people who love me. Hopefully it will help. So anyways, i feel like i have written a novel by this point. Yes...I have no life. Matt's class got cancelled (or for the Writing Center folk, is it "canceled"?) today because he got stuck in traffic. So i am a loser and went to the UWC to sit and waste time. I should be doing other things like read the script for Yellowman, but i will do that tonight. Ok, i think this is enough for y'all to process. Until next time...