(no subject)
58 minutes away from this being the first full day we haven't spoken in over 4 months.
i didn't ask you if you ate
did you eat?
probably
you've been messaging me about it first lately
Don't you miss me
Do you miss me as much as i miss you?
i could end this right now.
i could text you and might answer
i could call you and you'd probably pick up
and we could just sit in silence
or just smile at each other
have you tried to call me
have you checked that i didnt text you
have you hoped every notification is me
because that's how i feel
maybe you're mad at me
im sad
i miss you
i wish you picked me
but i didn't even ask you to do that
i just want you to want to
but i really want you to pick yourself
you deserve it
and i don't know why you're doing this
i wasn't done
i was just tired of pushing
but this feels done
but im bored
and im lonely
and my life would be more full if i could just tell you about my day
i wanted to do more with you
i keep thinking of things we were supposed to do together
i wanted to make you get me food for my birthday
i wanted cheesecake
i wanted to let you take care of me
i wanted to just lie in bed with you
or go on a walk with you
or eat ice cream with you
but there's also relief
i think i knew this would happen
i thought that i had more time
time to fix this
but you keep going until you can't anymore
and you don't listen to how much it's hurting you
and i can't unhurt you
15 minutes away from 1 whole day without talking to you