(no subject)
a series of events
me: stoned, thinking it wouldn't be an issue
you: horny but not acting any differently than usual
me: no i want to be horny
you: no you'll regret it
me: i wont regret it because i really want it
but we can't do it because you're still in a relationship
you: but i wont be soon
me: but i'm scared. I don't know how i feel about you. I think maybe i'm in love with you but it might just be hyperfixation.
[it doesn't feel like love it just feels like addiction.
I love being with you and you make me so happy and i love your attention and giving you attention.
i'm very happy being friends with you but we need to determine what the boundaries of our friendship look like and also how we can maintain being appropriate while we're in relationships with other people.
our friendship works because i don't get overwhelmed with all your feelings, i don't have to share all my feelings all the time and have to keep with your needs in a romantic relationship]
you: please just tell me what's on your mind. this is very confusing and i don't know what's going on and i don't want to ahve to read about it later
me: i can't, the is so scary and painful. i feel like i'm taking up too much space and it's unfair to you.
i'm not against hooking up with you while remaining friends
me: i really want to hook up with you but you have a lot of obligations in your current relationship that make that inappropriate. please say something because i'm feeling very vulnerable.
you: i have said everything. you know how i feel. i love you and i want to be with you.
i have to go but i could bring you supper later
me; left alone. shut down. vulnerability hang over. literally only able to lie in bed because i know something is wrong.
you: nothing
you: checking in
me: not being vulnerable
me: in emotional turmoil
you: confused
me: getting confused, not understanding what you're saying. feeling like i fucked up
you: acting weird
me: acting weird
you: don't want to talk to me
me: devastated
crying, throwing things, stomping around my apartment.
me: please talk to me. i feel so alone without you.
me: i'm having a breakdown but i don't feel like i can tell you because i think you're mad at me and i dont' know what to do and i'm just happy you're willing to talk to me
i'm bad at communicating
not you.