(no subject)
i'm trying to make a decision
but i can't make a decision
i'm waiting until i can save some money
so i can feel more comfortable
i don't want to go to cape breton because i will have to spend money
but i think i could have a good time
i can go visit damien
and mukthar
and silas
and see ian
and maybe waycobah house
and it doesn 't have to be perfect.
i can just go
and have a good time.
i think i should just do it
but this is making me think that i need to go home
but it's so complicated
i don't know how to make space
without having to pay for it
but i don't want to pay to make space for myself
but that is making me think i should go visit edmonton
i want that to be the plan for next summer
maybe i could go next
i feel paralyzed by the choices
how do i know what the right choice is
how do i know what will take my energy
and what will make me happy
im tired of planning
but i can't do things without planning
it's scary
which is why i am scared
to make a plan
i don't think going home will make me happy
and i don't think i have the money to make it work
but maybe i should just jump and figure it out later