"Hope this is what you wanted. Hope this is what you had in mind. Cuz this is what you're getting."
Last wednesday i had sergery to remove pre-cancer cells from my cervix. goddamn it sucked. and now im hurting everywhere, like when you get really bad cramps. my lower back is killing me. and...heres the worst part...no sex for Rachael and Erik for...wait for it...
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6 weeks. AHHHH!!!!! i am gonna be one pissy bitch for 6 weeks. damnit, thats such a long time... fuck. well thats ok tho. better than having cancer. if they hadnt caught it, it would have been too late to fix it. it would have developed fully into benine cancer and i would've had to go through kemo and shit. kinda scary. that something like that was so close to really screwing up my life, maybe ending it. something completely out of my control, just genetic shit. at 15. shit like that is supossed to happen when you're older, not at fucking 15. freaked me out. hopefully its gone for good and i wont have to worry about it anymore. but they said there's a possibility it could come back. and also that i may never be able carry a pregnancy, or even get pregnant at all. thats good now, built in birth control. but i do want kids someday. 2, older boy, younger girl. so that all really sucks. but right now im just going to hope for the best and appriciate that im still here.
...
6 weeks. AHHHH!!!!! i am gonna be one pissy bitch for 6 weeks. damnit, thats such a long time... fuck. well thats ok tho. better than having cancer. if they hadnt caught it, it would have been too late to fix it. it would have developed fully into benine cancer and i would've had to go through kemo and shit. kinda scary. that something like that was so close to really screwing up my life, maybe ending it. something completely out of my control, just genetic shit. at 15. shit like that is supossed to happen when you're older, not at fucking 15. freaked me out. hopefully its gone for good and i wont have to worry about it anymore. but they said there's a possibility it could come back. and also that i may never be able carry a pregnancy, or even get pregnant at all. thats good now, built in birth control. but i do want kids someday. 2, older boy, younger girl. so that all really sucks. but right now im just going to hope for the best and appriciate that im still here.