We enjoy the sunday dinners. I was really sad and disappointed, especially after having to hear it through Lina that you didn't want to see any of us. She sounded very disappointed on the phone as well. Thinking of it as bribery is silly and you know it. Thinking you're the only one who is sad and alone is also silly. You're not alone.
You're focusing too much of your energy on feeling sad. Change starts with you. You have to actively want it. Any time you start feeling lonely or sad get up and do something. Physically stand up and go do something that puts you somewhere else. Get a glass of water if that's as far as you can take yourself. Tell yourself in your mind or even out loud, "Fuck that. I'm going to feel good!" Even if you still don't feel it afterward. Say it until you want it. Really want it. "I'm going to be self sufficient and independent. Everything will be okay." You have to change your way of thinking. Being surrounded by people won't solve your problem. You can't rely on people like that. It's not fair to either of you.
I am only guessing at what road will take you to happiness, but this is what has worked and is working for me. It's easy to fall into depression and wallow. It's almost satisfying in a morbid sense. For me I have to swallow my desires for attention and actively stop feeling sorry for myself. Only I can make myself happy. I'm seeing positive results and it excites me. I'm gradually feeling happier than I have in the past 10 years.
We can love you, but only you can find your own happiness.
Thinking you're the only one who is sad and alone is also silly. You're not alone.
You're focusing too much of your energy on feeling sad. Change starts with you. You have to actively want it. Any time you start feeling lonely or sad get up and do something. Physically stand up and go do something that puts you somewhere else. Get a glass of water if that's as far as you can take yourself. Tell yourself in your mind or even out loud, "Fuck that. I'm going to feel good!" Even if you still don't feel it afterward. Say it until you want it. Really want it. "I'm going to be self sufficient and independent. Everything will be okay."
You have to change your way of thinking. Being surrounded by people won't solve your problem. You can't rely on people like that. It's not fair to either of you.
I am only guessing at what road will take you to happiness, but this is what has worked and is working for me. It's easy to fall into depression and wallow. It's almost satisfying in a morbid sense. For me I have to swallow my desires for attention and actively stop feeling sorry for myself. Only I can make myself happy. I'm seeing positive results and it excites me. I'm gradually feeling happier than I have in the past 10 years.
We can love you, but only you can find your own happiness.
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