Long time no post, blah di blah...
How tardy am I? Back to LJ after what seems like an eternity.
I guess Facebook with its sense of immediacy has truly lured me away, however it does not have the capacity to allow more than fleeting updates. Often I feel like posting something more substantial, or emotive, or personal, and Fb really isn't the forum for that.Especially since many of the people who my posts would affect are already on there as friends and, well, lets face it, who needs the drama?
What has happened since I last posted?
Lets see...
1. My Mother died. She had been suffering from T.I.A's or minor bleeds in her brain for some years. Her condition made her confused and unstable and often downright nasty. I haven't had a great relationship with her for many years and I held, still hold, a great deal of resentment for the way she has treated me since my teenage years. Her passing is in many ways a relief, but it also finds me stewing with unresolved anger and now, of course, there is never going to be an opportunity to resolve all the crap that went between us. (Not that she would ever admit to any culpability even if she were alive)
As I was the only family member living nearby, it fell upon me to check in on her regularly to make sure she was taking her medication, had eaten/showered etc.So it was no surprise that Kristine and I found her body after she died. death is a great leveller, it affords everyone the same lack of dignity at the end. I found her naked, face down on the tiled floor of her passageway, cold as ice and stiff as a board. The paramedics estimated she had lain there all day, judging by the lividity, the internal fluids pooling through gravity in the lowest parts of her body. Later, thankfully, the coroner let us know that a massive stroke had wiped out half of Mum's brain, so she would've been dead before she hit the floor. A blessing of sorts.
2. I don't know whether its related, but my immune system has taken a battering and after nearly 20 years unmedicated I'm now on Atripla antiretroviral therapy. I'm not happy about the progression, but hopefully the new meds will sort things out.
3. I had an excellent exhibition for the summation of my PhD and sold the major work for $18,000, so Kristine and I are, perhaps foolishly in the current financial climate, blowing the lot on a round the world trip. We'll be hitting the States again and I can't wait to catch up with some of our favourite bears in San Francisco.
4. I've found a new niche. I've been working as an extra on an upcoming Australian movie entitled Sundowner. I get to play criminal biker type number 4. I'm amazed at how much fun it's been and how comfortable I feel in front of the camera. No speaking roles yet, but I'm considering getting an agent, as commercial work here can apparently net payments of $2000 per ad. Not bad pay for acting the fool.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I hope you are all well, or at least coping with your lives. My love to all, Matt xxx