(no subject)
So, where am I today?
The daily grind continues with the usual ups and downs.
1. I've given up smoking... again. I doubt it will last as it seems I am on a rolercoaster of addiction and denial. Lets face it, I'm a smoker and even when I'm not smoking, I'm waiting for the chance to smoke again. Its destructive behaviour, especially since each time finds my breathing becoming more of a problem.
2. That damned ear infection is still with me and nothing seems to shift it. I've had it so long that I've grown used to being left out of conversations and I find myself exhausted after tutorials because I have to strain so hard to hear what my students are saying.
3. I'm sick of my increasing weight and girth of my waist. My evenings are spent fatly watching TV and eating junk food and chocolate, so its no surprise that I'm stacking on the weight. It reminds me of the period I spent with depression after Rachelle died and I know at some stage I'll have to address the problem, but my motivation levels are at an all time low because of my health issues.
4. I've been trying to do my best at helping my youngest daughter settle into uni, by taking her to uni on the bike and proof reading her assignments etc. it's the most time I've spent with her since she moved out of home 3 years ago. I do enjoy her company and I'm very proud she's finally decided to do something with her life.
5. My eldest daughter Skye is doing marvellously and has almost completed her post graduate diploma of education. She's been getting high distinctions in all her classes and has been rewarded with placements in some of Perth's top schools. Her unerring direction in life is both a surprise and a delight to me, I'm very lucky that my girls have turned out so well. especially considering what a lazy parent I was.
6. The Bird and I have acknowledged the need to support each other emotionally a little more. Kris' is in her final semester and as expected the physical and mental requirements of her degree are starting to take their toll. We spend the time we have together exhausted and its a comment on our love and respect for each other that we haven't argued for months. Both she and I are looking forward to the successful conclusion of her degree and the subsequent income raise once she goes back into the work force. Life at uni is wonderful, but three years of borderline poverty is trying, to say the least.
7. My mother's health has been a worry of late. she suffers from multipleTIA's (mini strokes) and I fear she has started down that long depressing road into dementia. two weeks ago she fell twice in as many days and has broken her wrist. Her face looks as though she's been attacked with a baseball bat and its become obvious that her cognitive reason is suffering. She's a very strong willed and fiercely independent woman and regardless (or perhaps because of) her confused state of mind, she is resisting even the mildest suggestions of help. It really is only a matter of time before my sisters and I will have to discuss the appropriateness of monitored housing for her, but I know when the time comes she will not go quietly. I'm not looking forward to that conversation.
8. The PhD seems to be at a standstil and that in itself is the cause of great anxiety for me. The various stresses in my life (read 1 through 7) have left me with little time or energy to devote to what should be the most important job I have. I'm going to speak with my supervisor to see if there is the possibility of deferring the written component until next semester, when hopefully I will be healthier, wealthier and more incined to knuckle down for some academic hardball. In the meantime I would prefer to concentrate on the painting component of the course.
well, that's all I think. my apologies for my rather maudlin list of woes.
The daily grind continues with the usual ups and downs.
1. I've given up smoking... again. I doubt it will last as it seems I am on a rolercoaster of addiction and denial. Lets face it, I'm a smoker and even when I'm not smoking, I'm waiting for the chance to smoke again. Its destructive behaviour, especially since each time finds my breathing becoming more of a problem.
2. That damned ear infection is still with me and nothing seems to shift it. I've had it so long that I've grown used to being left out of conversations and I find myself exhausted after tutorials because I have to strain so hard to hear what my students are saying.
3. I'm sick of my increasing weight and girth of my waist. My evenings are spent fatly watching TV and eating junk food and chocolate, so its no surprise that I'm stacking on the weight. It reminds me of the period I spent with depression after Rachelle died and I know at some stage I'll have to address the problem, but my motivation levels are at an all time low because of my health issues.
4. I've been trying to do my best at helping my youngest daughter settle into uni, by taking her to uni on the bike and proof reading her assignments etc. it's the most time I've spent with her since she moved out of home 3 years ago. I do enjoy her company and I'm very proud she's finally decided to do something with her life.
5. My eldest daughter Skye is doing marvellously and has almost completed her post graduate diploma of education. She's been getting high distinctions in all her classes and has been rewarded with placements in some of Perth's top schools. Her unerring direction in life is both a surprise and a delight to me, I'm very lucky that my girls have turned out so well. especially considering what a lazy parent I was.
6. The Bird and I have acknowledged the need to support each other emotionally a little more. Kris' is in her final semester and as expected the physical and mental requirements of her degree are starting to take their toll. We spend the time we have together exhausted and its a comment on our love and respect for each other that we haven't argued for months. Both she and I are looking forward to the successful conclusion of her degree and the subsequent income raise once she goes back into the work force. Life at uni is wonderful, but three years of borderline poverty is trying, to say the least.
7. My mother's health has been a worry of late. she suffers from multipleTIA's (mini strokes) and I fear she has started down that long depressing road into dementia. two weeks ago she fell twice in as many days and has broken her wrist. Her face looks as though she's been attacked with a baseball bat and its become obvious that her cognitive reason is suffering. She's a very strong willed and fiercely independent woman and regardless (or perhaps because of) her confused state of mind, she is resisting even the mildest suggestions of help. It really is only a matter of time before my sisters and I will have to discuss the appropriateness of monitored housing for her, but I know when the time comes she will not go quietly. I'm not looking forward to that conversation.
8. The PhD seems to be at a standstil and that in itself is the cause of great anxiety for me. The various stresses in my life (read 1 through 7) have left me with little time or energy to devote to what should be the most important job I have. I'm going to speak with my supervisor to see if there is the possibility of deferring the written component until next semester, when hopefully I will be healthier, wealthier and more incined to knuckle down for some academic hardball. In the meantime I would prefer to concentrate on the painting component of the course.
well, that's all I think. my apologies for my rather maudlin list of woes.