Jun 01, 2005 16:31
so there's a bowl of stale hershey's kisses on my desk here at work, and it's taunting me. *glares at misleading shiny wrappers* i've had two now, and both were a complete disappointment. but nevertheless, they beckon. the question is, do i give in to temptation on the off chance that one might not have gone over? that one delicious kiss might have escaped the ravages of time and my boss's stuffy pantry? hmmmm...
it occurs to me that i might have died and gone to hell. and i must have done something particularly heinous to end up spending eternity in the excruciating torment that is 3:37 on a Wednesday afternoon working as a receptionist in the front office of a particularly tedious and ineffectual department with (of all things) a bowl of STALE hershey's kisses not more than a foot away from me. take a moment to consider the sheer genius of this particular torture technique. a hideous, boring day in a hideous, boring job. but a little chocolate might relieve the tedium! so there is chocolate. but NOT SO FAST. it's a trick! for the chocolate is stale and tastes like sock elastic! woe!!!
a vulture's eating your liver, you say? you push a boulder up to the top of a hill only to watch it roll down again? pfft. pansies! i challenge the Greeks to come up with a punishment to top my stale hershey's kisses! it can't be done, i tell you!