'Cos this should be a thrill, but it feels like a drill
Oh, Senor Cuervo - how I missed you.
I've been in a funk the past couple of days, to say the least. I blame the new moon, which has completely ruined my sleep. I've been having weird dreams so I'm tossing and turning, and consequently I'm all out of whack.
I dreamt that I was a PIRATE! I KNOW, right? I had the white puffy shirt and a cutlass, and I fought Captain Hook, and then I fought Captain Jack Sparrow (which was weird), and then - I KID YOU NOT, Condoleeza Rice showed up and the ship sank. And then the next morning, I woke up and read about the restrictions placed on abortions. COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE.
Today, I was at my crankiest (if that's even a word). I was cranky all night at work, and I guess I was lucky that Uncle Jean BOOKED IT as soon as the clock chimed 4 o'clock, because I'm sure I would have gotten the Concerned Uncle Jean Questions: "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" And my answer would have been, "No, I'm not okay, no I don't want to talk about it, what I want to do is order a few shots of tequila, drive home [not necessarily in that order], and depending on my frustration levels with some of the people I work with, poke eyes out with fiery pokers." And then Uncle Jean would quickly back away, not daring to turn his back to me, and I'd be left alone all night, and actually, that wouldn't have been that bad. (One tequila.)
And now, along with shooting tequila like it ain't no thang (don't tell my sister I typed that) and taping The Daily Show, I'm writing up a memo for my bosses wherein I describe the Communications Position that they keep telling me I have, but have never actually described for me. No, seriously.
Boss: So, how's it goin'?
Me:... Okay...
Boss: Just okay?
Me: Yeah...? I mean, I'm working on the training stuff - Brad's giving me a few hours off the floor every week to pick away at it (and here's where I described my ideas, which Boss was very excited about - well, as excited as he can get about stuff)...
Boss: Is there anything else?
Me: Well, I am still curious as to what that Communications piece is looking like.
Boss: To be honest, I don't know what it looks like.
Me: ... Ooookay... (Internally rolls eyes)
Hmm... maybe I should write that up later. (Two tequila.)
OH!
GILES!! GILES GILES GILES! Okay, it was for one page, but GILES!
I'm sure I've mentioned that Giles is my favorite character, right? Right? And Andrew showed up talking about Lando Calrissian, so that was cute.
And here's where I echo Xander and say "Seriously?!" So, last issue, Amy the Witch-Rat was human again and in Military Custody. In this issue, she somehow tesseracts over to Scotland (which, not impossible, cuz Witch) and puts Buffy under a spell where she's living her worst nightmares until, I KID YOU NOT, TRUE LOVE'S KISS awakens her.
The best part was when I turned the page and both Xander and I said at the same time, "SERIOUSLY!?" Because, who exactly is Buffy's true love? Spike was a ghost, Angel's an idiot, and who does that leave? Someone new? Xander? GILES? No, I'm serious, I'm asking, because this is ridiculous. Amy did insinuate that it would be someone who is truly devoted to Buffy, under which title Xander would fall, but that would ruin the Xander-Buffy relationship. I love Xander, and I truly feel that Xander and Buffy do better as friends than as romantically entangled, and if Joss wanted that to happen, then why the hell didn't he fix Season 7 by having some Bander? (I think that's the fandom term for it...)
And then Willow comes out of fuckin' nowhere and says to Amy, "As a friend of mine once said to me, 'I'd like to test that theory.'" OH NO SHE DI'NT! That is GILES'S line from "Two to Go", and no one says it better! I was just about to ask Joss to NOT give that line to Willow, but it's already been done, so... moo point. BUT SERIOUSLY. That was, like, one of the best lines of Season Six, with one of the best entrances, and you regifted it to Willow? Shoddy, Joss - pure shoddiness.
Well, let's see what happens in Issue 3. (Three tequila.)
Uh, let's see, what else... I have to wake up at ten a.m. tomorrow (er, later today) and do laundry so I can win a five-dollar bet with my sister (don't ask), I had been all caught up with my TV shows until last night (I'm halfway through last night's Lost, and when I finish it I'll probably post my reactions... maybe... I know that it involves Desmond, and I love me that Scottish hunk/monk (dear J.J. Abrams/Carlton Cuse/Damon Lindelof: more shirtless Desmond, please!).
I feel like I'm missing something, but it must not be important anymore if I can't remember it.
(Floor.)
(Plus one, because there's not even that left in the bottle, and I don't want to leave just one swallow.)
(That's what she said?)
I've been in a funk the past couple of days, to say the least. I blame the new moon, which has completely ruined my sleep. I've been having weird dreams so I'm tossing and turning, and consequently I'm all out of whack.
I dreamt that I was a PIRATE! I KNOW, right? I had the white puffy shirt and a cutlass, and I fought Captain Hook, and then I fought Captain Jack Sparrow (which was weird), and then - I KID YOU NOT, Condoleeza Rice showed up and the ship sank. And then the next morning, I woke up and read about the restrictions placed on abortions. COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE.
Today, I was at my crankiest (if that's even a word). I was cranky all night at work, and I guess I was lucky that Uncle Jean BOOKED IT as soon as the clock chimed 4 o'clock, because I'm sure I would have gotten the Concerned Uncle Jean Questions: "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" And my answer would have been, "No, I'm not okay, no I don't want to talk about it, what I want to do is order a few shots of tequila, drive home [not necessarily in that order], and depending on my frustration levels with some of the people I work with, poke eyes out with fiery pokers." And then Uncle Jean would quickly back away, not daring to turn his back to me, and I'd be left alone all night, and actually, that wouldn't have been that bad. (One tequila.)
And now, along with shooting tequila like it ain't no thang (don't tell my sister I typed that) and taping The Daily Show, I'm writing up a memo for my bosses wherein I describe the Communications Position that they keep telling me I have, but have never actually described for me. No, seriously.
Boss: So, how's it goin'?
Me:... Okay...
Boss: Just okay?
Me: Yeah...? I mean, I'm working on the training stuff - Brad's giving me a few hours off the floor every week to pick away at it (and here's where I described my ideas, which Boss was very excited about - well, as excited as he can get about stuff)...
Boss: Is there anything else?
Me: Well, I am still curious as to what that Communications piece is looking like.
Boss: To be honest, I don't know what it looks like.
Me: ... Ooookay... (Internally rolls eyes)
Hmm... maybe I should write that up later. (Two tequila.)
OH!
GILES!! GILES GILES GILES! Okay, it was for one page, but GILES!
I'm sure I've mentioned that Giles is my favorite character, right? Right? And Andrew showed up talking about Lando Calrissian, so that was cute.
And here's where I echo Xander and say "Seriously?!" So, last issue, Amy the Witch-Rat was human again and in Military Custody. In this issue, she somehow tesseracts over to Scotland (which, not impossible, cuz Witch) and puts Buffy under a spell where she's living her worst nightmares until, I KID YOU NOT, TRUE LOVE'S KISS awakens her.
The best part was when I turned the page and both Xander and I said at the same time, "SERIOUSLY!?" Because, who exactly is Buffy's true love? Spike was a ghost, Angel's an idiot, and who does that leave? Someone new? Xander? GILES? No, I'm serious, I'm asking, because this is ridiculous. Amy did insinuate that it would be someone who is truly devoted to Buffy, under which title Xander would fall, but that would ruin the Xander-Buffy relationship. I love Xander, and I truly feel that Xander and Buffy do better as friends than as romantically entangled, and if Joss wanted that to happen, then why the hell didn't he fix Season 7 by having some Bander? (I think that's the fandom term for it...)
And then Willow comes out of fuckin' nowhere and says to Amy, "As a friend of mine once said to me, 'I'd like to test that theory.'" OH NO SHE DI'NT! That is GILES'S line from "Two to Go", and no one says it better! I was just about to ask Joss to NOT give that line to Willow, but it's already been done, so... moo point. BUT SERIOUSLY. That was, like, one of the best lines of Season Six, with one of the best entrances, and you regifted it to Willow? Shoddy, Joss - pure shoddiness.
Well, let's see what happens in Issue 3. (Three tequila.)
Uh, let's see, what else... I have to wake up at ten a.m. tomorrow (er, later today) and do laundry so I can win a five-dollar bet with my sister (don't ask), I had been all caught up with my TV shows until last night (I'm halfway through last night's Lost, and when I finish it I'll probably post my reactions... maybe... I know that it involves Desmond, and I love me that Scottish hunk/monk (dear J.J. Abrams/Carlton Cuse/Damon Lindelof: more shirtless Desmond, please!).
I feel like I'm missing something, but it must not be important anymore if I can't remember it.
(Floor.)
(Plus one, because there's not even that left in the bottle, and I don't want to leave just one swallow.)
(That's what she said?)