The Almighty Pants of DOOOOOOMMM!!!! (@ Ultraman Yaoi)
See, I have this pair of pants. They're hipster, sort of a violet-blue mixed colour with dark tan stitching and they flare in a completely disgusting manner. Studs go up the outer edges. It all sounds very ugly, but in truth, they're extremely comfortable pants and their unusual appearance is what has led me to dub them the Almighty Pants of Doom.
You see, good things happen with the Almighty Pants of Doom. I got the Maxx OP off gazo-box today, and we had ham sandwiches for lunch. Then I talked to docwebstr on Y!Msgr, and we got into even MORE shop talk than usual.
And by the way, the following LJ cut is here for a reason. I know some of my flist likes Ultraman. I know most of my flist likes yaoi. I don't think more than one likes, well, both. You've been warned. Here are a few excerpts from our crackity-crack conversations. The actual whole piece is...well, it's friendslocked. For a completely good reason. 8|
1)Where It All Began
ultram2000: ...RANMA 1/2!?O[]O (in response to the sudden appearance of 'Jajauma ni Sasenaide' on his radio station)
docwebstr: Yep!
ultram2000: ...I didn't know you liked Ranma 1/2
docwebstr: Heck, yeah.
ultram2000: Used to like it, but uh...I stopped...
docwebstr: In fact, I thought it would be utterly hilarious to add to poor Ranma's troubles and make him(her?it?) a deunamist. *giggle* "Oh, great. Just what I need."
ultram2000: WHAT!?
ultram2000: Gagfic ahoy!
docwebstr: Total comedy.
ultram2000: ...So if a monster pours cold water on Nexus, will he grow boobs?
docwebstr: No, but Zagi will. *giggle*
2) Zagi: Natural Woman
docwebstr: "Like I wasn't mentally unbalanced enough already, dammit! *weep*"
ultram2000: And Nexus trying to hit on him. XD
ultram2000: In a completely sweet, bashful way.
docwebstr: *falls over laughing*
docwebstr: Oh, dear God..
ultram2000: Zagi: LEAVE ME ALONE! *runs off*
docwebstr: *weeping with laughter* [...]
docwebstr: "I'm GOING HOME TO MOTHE.. wait. Uh.. forget I said that!"
ultram2000: Illustrator: Bad news. Zagi is heading for Point 26, Area G-5.
ultram2000: Komon: ...OH MY GOD. That's the biggest chocolate factory in Japan!
docwebstr: ..."OH DEAR BUDDHA.. Zagi's PMSING!"
ultram2000: "CHOCOLATE! RAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!"
docwebstr: We *need* to write this.
3) Ah, Now It All Makes Sense...right?
ultram2000: But how is it that the very undark Ranma becomes Zagi's D(unamist)?
docwebstr: *ponders* Who says he has to? Nexus and Zagi fight near the springs, Zagi falls in...
ultram2000: Oh.
ultram2000: But he has to turn into a drowned something - I doubt an Ultra fell into one of them XD
ultram2000: Must be a pretty big spring
docwebstr: I doubt one of them would simultaneously get a rack and PMS in the same story, too. It's called poetic license.
ultram2000: *Nexus tries to push Zagi away, and lashes out with a double claw strike*
ultram2000: 'Squish!'
docwebstr: "Uh oh.."
ultram2000: "Ah, um, err, um, anoooo...sorry?"
ultram2000: "PERVERT!" *slap!*
docwebstr: "What do you mean.. oh boy.."
ultram2000: "HENTAI! GROPER! MISCREANT!" *slap slap slap*
ultram2000: "This is OVER! We're never fighting again!"
ultram2000: "...Um...okay."
4) You've got Male(preg)
docwebstr: ...To make this even more insane, Mother could show up. "You think that's bad, Nexus.. I have even worse news." "Do I dare ask?" "She's pregnant." *THUD* "Nexus? Nexus?"
ultram2000: *hits head all over floor*
docwebstr: I am absolutely weeping with laughter. My cat thinks I've gone nuts.
ultram2000: Malepreg AND het. You dog, docwebstr!
ultram2000: Suddenly I see Zagi in a frilly maternity dress XD XD XD XD XD
docwebstr: And the baby comes out looking like.. Agul? "WAIT A MINUTE!" "Uh oh.."
ultram2000: *weeps with laughter*
ultram2000: There has been no crime on the Land of Light for 200 000 years at last count. Good luck finding a lawyer to help with the paternity suit.
ultram2000: "Push! Push!" // "SAY ANYTHING MORE AND I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR TEETH IN! HAVE YOU TRIED PUSHING A WATERMELON OUT YOUR ASS BEFORE?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO?!!!!!!!"
ultram2000: My mom obviously thinks I've lost it completely
docwebstr: "Need a lawyer? Call 1-800-BAL-TANS"
ultram2000: *ROTFLMFAO*
ultram2000: 'We accept cash, charge cards, and planetary control.'
docwebstr: ...Of course, it'll all turn out to be a really bad nightmare. Also of course, in the requisite twist, he wakes up and finds Genma in panda form next to him. "AIIEEEEE!"
ultram2000: Mephisto: I thought you'd LIKE the stuffed panda, master *wibble*
ultram2000: "That's it. No more world domination before bedtime."
ultram2000: A nightmare within a nightmare XD
docwebstr: Epilogue: "We receive a strange communication about Nexus, King. He's apparently been put away in a rest home, babbling something about Zagi and chocolate bars."
5) That's The Sound Of Hell Freezing Over.
ultram2000: [...]Nah, nightmares are good.
ultram2000: Unless you were planning on writing slash.
docwebstr: Slash this funny is almost too good to resist.
ultram2000: You're tempting....
ultram2000: *grin*
docwebstr: "What the hell do you MEAN the transformation is permanent?" "It's.. uh.. it's never happened with a.. uh.. Ultran before. You're the.. erm.. first." "YOU +@)*@$&.."
docwebstr: [...]Jack could be standing off to the side. "And they ask me why I drink.."
ultram2000: OMGthenetaness
ultram2000: *adds another*
ultram2000: Dyna: "Look what I found in the latest Hot Springs of the World Guide! There's a spring in China called the Chaoren Ni Quan. Funnily enough, nobody's actually tried its waters before. Hmmm. I wonder why it's called the Drowned Superman Spring."
ultram2000: *Zagi turns on him* "SHUT UP YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A SUMO-WRESTLER!"
ultram2000: Tiga: Hey! Nobody calls Dyna that! Except me.
ultram2000: *huge bloody yaoi squabble breaks out*
ultram2000: U/F: Are we the only heterosexual couple LEFT in the entire fandom?
ultram2000: U/M: Actually...I've always preferred women, dear.
U/F: (O|O);;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
docwebstr: So that's why you keep going on trips with Yulian!
ultram2000: OMGtheirloveissobreastless
docwebstr: *spew coffee across the monitor*
And yes, I actually did give the idea a shot. In fact, I'm going to spend three hours doing nothing else.
Oh, this is going to be SWEET. In many, many ways. *shakes head* Never thought this day would come...
You see, good things happen with the Almighty Pants of Doom. I got the Maxx OP off gazo-box today, and we had ham sandwiches for lunch. Then I talked to docwebstr on Y!Msgr, and we got into even MORE shop talk than usual.
And by the way, the following LJ cut is here for a reason. I know some of my flist likes Ultraman. I know most of my flist likes yaoi. I don't think more than one likes, well, both. You've been warned. Here are a few excerpts from our crackity-crack conversations. The actual whole piece is...well, it's friendslocked. For a completely good reason. 8|
1)Where It All Began
ultram2000: ...RANMA 1/2!?O[]O (in response to the sudden appearance of 'Jajauma ni Sasenaide' on his radio station)
docwebstr: Yep!
ultram2000: ...I didn't know you liked Ranma 1/2
docwebstr: Heck, yeah.
ultram2000: Used to like it, but uh...I stopped...
docwebstr: In fact, I thought it would be utterly hilarious to add to poor Ranma's troubles and make him(her?it?) a deunamist. *giggle* "Oh, great. Just what I need."
ultram2000: WHAT!?
ultram2000: Gagfic ahoy!
docwebstr: Total comedy.
ultram2000: ...So if a monster pours cold water on Nexus, will he grow boobs?
docwebstr: No, but Zagi will. *giggle*
2) Zagi: Natural Woman
docwebstr: "Like I wasn't mentally unbalanced enough already, dammit! *weep*"
ultram2000: And Nexus trying to hit on him. XD
ultram2000: In a completely sweet, bashful way.
docwebstr: *falls over laughing*
docwebstr: Oh, dear God..
ultram2000: Zagi: LEAVE ME ALONE! *runs off*
docwebstr: *weeping with laughter* [...]
docwebstr: "I'm GOING HOME TO MOTHE.. wait. Uh.. forget I said that!"
ultram2000: Illustrator: Bad news. Zagi is heading for Point 26, Area G-5.
ultram2000: Komon: ...OH MY GOD. That's the biggest chocolate factory in Japan!
docwebstr: ..."OH DEAR BUDDHA.. Zagi's PMSING!"
ultram2000: "CHOCOLATE! RAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!"
docwebstr: We *need* to write this.
3) Ah, Now It All Makes Sense...right?
ultram2000: But how is it that the very undark Ranma becomes Zagi's D(unamist)?
docwebstr: *ponders* Who says he has to? Nexus and Zagi fight near the springs, Zagi falls in...
ultram2000: Oh.
ultram2000: But he has to turn into a drowned something - I doubt an Ultra fell into one of them XD
ultram2000: Must be a pretty big spring
docwebstr: I doubt one of them would simultaneously get a rack and PMS in the same story, too. It's called poetic license.
ultram2000: *Nexus tries to push Zagi away, and lashes out with a double claw strike*
ultram2000: 'Squish!'
docwebstr: "Uh oh.."
ultram2000: "Ah, um, err, um, anoooo...sorry?"
ultram2000: "PERVERT!" *slap!*
docwebstr: "What do you mean.. oh boy.."
ultram2000: "HENTAI! GROPER! MISCREANT!" *slap slap slap*
ultram2000: "This is OVER! We're never fighting again!"
ultram2000: "...Um...okay."
4) You've got Male(preg)
docwebstr: ...To make this even more insane, Mother could show up. "You think that's bad, Nexus.. I have even worse news." "Do I dare ask?" "She's pregnant." *THUD* "Nexus? Nexus?"
ultram2000: *hits head all over floor*
docwebstr: I am absolutely weeping with laughter. My cat thinks I've gone nuts.
ultram2000: Malepreg AND het. You dog, docwebstr!
ultram2000: Suddenly I see Zagi in a frilly maternity dress XD XD XD XD XD
docwebstr: And the baby comes out looking like.. Agul? "WAIT A MINUTE!" "Uh oh.."
ultram2000: *weeps with laughter*
ultram2000: There has been no crime on the Land of Light for 200 000 years at last count. Good luck finding a lawyer to help with the paternity suit.
ultram2000: "Push! Push!" // "SAY ANYTHING MORE AND I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR TEETH IN! HAVE YOU TRIED PUSHING A WATERMELON OUT YOUR ASS BEFORE?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO?!!!!!!!"
ultram2000: My mom obviously thinks I've lost it completely
docwebstr: "Need a lawyer? Call 1-800-BAL-TANS"
ultram2000: *ROTFLMFAO*
ultram2000: 'We accept cash, charge cards, and planetary control.'
docwebstr: ...Of course, it'll all turn out to be a really bad nightmare. Also of course, in the requisite twist, he wakes up and finds Genma in panda form next to him. "AIIEEEEE!"
ultram2000: Mephisto: I thought you'd LIKE the stuffed panda, master *wibble*
ultram2000: "That's it. No more world domination before bedtime."
ultram2000: A nightmare within a nightmare XD
docwebstr: Epilogue: "We receive a strange communication about Nexus, King. He's apparently been put away in a rest home, babbling something about Zagi and chocolate bars."
5) That's The Sound Of Hell Freezing Over.
ultram2000: [...]Nah, nightmares are good.
ultram2000: Unless you were planning on writing slash.
docwebstr: Slash this funny is almost too good to resist.
ultram2000: You're tempting....
ultram2000: *grin*
docwebstr: "What the hell do you MEAN the transformation is permanent?" "It's.. uh.. it's never happened with a.. uh.. Ultran before. You're the.. erm.. first." "YOU +@)*@$&.."
docwebstr: [...]Jack could be standing off to the side. "And they ask me why I drink.."
ultram2000: OMGthenetaness
ultram2000: *adds another*
ultram2000: Dyna: "Look what I found in the latest Hot Springs of the World Guide! There's a spring in China called the Chaoren Ni Quan. Funnily enough, nobody's actually tried its waters before. Hmmm. I wonder why it's called the Drowned Superman Spring."
ultram2000: *Zagi turns on him* "SHUT UP YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A SUMO-WRESTLER!"
ultram2000: Tiga: Hey! Nobody calls Dyna that! Except me.
ultram2000: *huge bloody yaoi squabble breaks out*
ultram2000: U/F: Are we the only heterosexual couple LEFT in the entire fandom?
ultram2000: U/M: Actually...I've always preferred women, dear.
U/F: (O|O);;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
docwebstr: So that's why you keep going on trips with Yulian!
ultram2000: OMGtheirloveissobreastless
docwebstr: *spew coffee across the monitor*
And yes, I actually did give the idea a shot. In fact, I'm going to spend three hours doing nothing else.
Oh, this is going to be SWEET. In many, many ways. *shakes head* Never thought this day would come...