Food, People, and ACTUAL ALMOST NON-ANGST
It's getting to the point where I'm actually sick of my own bitching in my head.
I'm looking for things to be enthusiastic about.
Suggestions?
But I keep promising a non-angsty post, so here we go.
Yesterday I felt so incurably lazy, I really couldn't do a thing, even things that I wanted to do. I'm starting to wonder if all of it is because of the food? Dinner is at 5-6:30 every day and it's inconvenient as fuck. I'm never hungry at that time of day so I usually end up skipping it. Combine the fact that breakfast and lunch are both within the time that I usually spend asleep, and...I really only make it to the dining hall when they have something that I particularly want to eat. For example, sometimes they have fried steak omg. (...why yes, I do channel Chie when it comes to steak-related matters, thank you for asking.) Anyway, due to this schedule I really only rarely have a full meal...I'm losing a ton of weight and my normal pants are actually too big for once, but I fear what it does to my brain function. One can of condensed soup or Easy Mac or cup ramen per day is enough for me to survive without being too hungry, but I'm not entirely sure if it's enough for me to be able to think properly. Who knew? Eating actually matters. I just did it for fun most of the time. You really do learn a lot in college. But yes, reverse Freshman Fifteen ftw. Actually I might be exaggerating a little here? These pants were kind of gigantic in the first place...
Of course, skipping out on the dining hall comes with the added factor of me never needing to find people to sit and eat with. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.
I suppose I complain about them enough so here is a rundown of the people here worth mentioning:
First there's my roommate and her friends. They are. Uhm. Loud. Somewhat over-affectionate (for people who just met two months ago, jeebus). They make sexual innuendo like ALL THE DAMN TIME. It is probably more than 80% of their conversations. I am the only occasional member of this group who gets tired of it, apparently.
But, my roommate is the quiet member of this group and in fact doesn't say anything when we're alone. It's. Somewhat awkward, I guess, but plenty of room to do my own thing. Also she is very non-confrontational so she's yet to say anything about my [ahem] peculiar living habits.
As a group, they're nice enough to me and are at least good at pretending like they enjoy my company. Sarcasm and bluntness have actually been quite useful with these people; they seem to find it refreshing. But. They only really seek me out when they want me to drive them somewhere. I am very unsure about my real standing with them.
The other group worth mentioning are the freshmen in the next house over, who seem to be largely otaku or at least nerdy in some way. They're generally pretty entertaining but they have this tight-knit group that I'm not really a part of and I feel very much like an outsider when I try to do things with them. So it gets somewhat awkward when it's just me and like, 2 of them at a table. But I mean, while they're not like OHHAI MADS WE'VE MISSED YOU they don't seem to get annoyed with me or anything...
Actually now that I think about it the kid who sits next to me in one of my classes is also over there, but does not seem to be part of this group? I have no idea who he hangs out with...but I guess I kinda have a social link with him?
Oh, and Troper-senpai!
Uhm, actually, there's not a huge amount to say about him. He's a troper and a senpai. We like the same anime, though!
We also had a fun time the other day when we had a guest lecturer in computers and class was in the woodshop...
Of course it's not like I can follow him around being like "TROPER-SENPAAAAAI" all the time or anything, but he's interesting to cross paths with.
But, uh...I'm not sure about finding a roommate for spring term. I think my current roommate is going to room with her best friend from that first group (who hates her current roommate with a burning passion). Of course I have not actually spoken to her about this...but uh, come on, how awkward would that be. "OHHAI SO I SUSPECT THAT YOU WILL BE ROOMING WITH SOMEONE ELSE THIS SPRING AMIRITE?"
I-I-I kinda need to make sure before starting to look for another roommate, though...
And even with this fact confirmed I don't know who the hell I would room with. Despite being familiar with several groups of people I'm just not comfortable enough with anyone to be "OHHAI WILL YOU MOVE IN WITH ME". I guess I could put in a housing form and let them decide for me again, but it feels like a wasted opportunity somehow.
Of course there are people I haven't mentioned, but that'll have to be for later, because I am bored.
And then also hnnnnngrh classes and Field Work Term and a whole huge pile of things I just do not feel like dealing with right now.
There's plenty of angst to be had about my lack of personal development, but.
I'm still not entirely sure if I want to change or not. (I'm pretty damn twisted for even being willing to do this to myself again...)
But you'll notice the near-lack of that in this entry! See? I'm getting better at this!
I'm looking for things to be enthusiastic about.
Suggestions?
But I keep promising a non-angsty post, so here we go.
Yesterday I felt so incurably lazy, I really couldn't do a thing, even things that I wanted to do. I'm starting to wonder if all of it is because of the food? Dinner is at 5-6:30 every day and it's inconvenient as fuck. I'm never hungry at that time of day so I usually end up skipping it. Combine the fact that breakfast and lunch are both within the time that I usually spend asleep, and...I really only make it to the dining hall when they have something that I particularly want to eat. For example, sometimes they have fried steak omg. (...why yes, I do channel Chie when it comes to steak-related matters, thank you for asking.) Anyway, due to this schedule I really only rarely have a full meal...I'm losing a ton of weight and my normal pants are actually too big for once, but I fear what it does to my brain function. One can of condensed soup or Easy Mac or cup ramen per day is enough for me to survive without being too hungry, but I'm not entirely sure if it's enough for me to be able to think properly. Who knew? Eating actually matters. I just did it for fun most of the time. You really do learn a lot in college. But yes, reverse Freshman Fifteen ftw. Actually I might be exaggerating a little here? These pants were kind of gigantic in the first place...
Of course, skipping out on the dining hall comes with the added factor of me never needing to find people to sit and eat with. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.
I suppose I complain about them enough so here is a rundown of the people here worth mentioning:
First there's my roommate and her friends. They are. Uhm. Loud. Somewhat over-affectionate (for people who just met two months ago, jeebus). They make sexual innuendo like ALL THE DAMN TIME. It is probably more than 80% of their conversations. I am the only occasional member of this group who gets tired of it, apparently.
But, my roommate is the quiet member of this group and in fact doesn't say anything when we're alone. It's. Somewhat awkward, I guess, but plenty of room to do my own thing. Also she is very non-confrontational so she's yet to say anything about my [ahem] peculiar living habits.
As a group, they're nice enough to me and are at least good at pretending like they enjoy my company. Sarcasm and bluntness have actually been quite useful with these people; they seem to find it refreshing. But. They only really seek me out when they want me to drive them somewhere. I am very unsure about my real standing with them.
The other group worth mentioning are the freshmen in the next house over, who seem to be largely otaku or at least nerdy in some way. They're generally pretty entertaining but they have this tight-knit group that I'm not really a part of and I feel very much like an outsider when I try to do things with them. So it gets somewhat awkward when it's just me and like, 2 of them at a table. But I mean, while they're not like OHHAI MADS WE'VE MISSED YOU they don't seem to get annoyed with me or anything...
Actually now that I think about it the kid who sits next to me in one of my classes is also over there, but does not seem to be part of this group? I have no idea who he hangs out with...but I guess I kinda have a social link with him?
Oh, and Troper-senpai!
Uhm, actually, there's not a huge amount to say about him. He's a troper and a senpai. We like the same anime, though!
We also had a fun time the other day when we had a guest lecturer in computers and class was in the woodshop...
Of course it's not like I can follow him around being like "TROPER-SENPAAAAAI" all the time or anything, but he's interesting to cross paths with.
But, uh...I'm not sure about finding a roommate for spring term. I think my current roommate is going to room with her best friend from that first group (who hates her current roommate with a burning passion). Of course I have not actually spoken to her about this...but uh, come on, how awkward would that be. "OHHAI SO I SUSPECT THAT YOU WILL BE ROOMING WITH SOMEONE ELSE THIS SPRING AMIRITE?"
I-I-I kinda need to make sure before starting to look for another roommate, though...
And even with this fact confirmed I don't know who the hell I would room with. Despite being familiar with several groups of people I'm just not comfortable enough with anyone to be "OHHAI WILL YOU MOVE IN WITH ME". I guess I could put in a housing form and let them decide for me again, but it feels like a wasted opportunity somehow.
Of course there are people I haven't mentioned, but that'll have to be for later, because I am bored.
And then also hnnnnngrh classes and Field Work Term and a whole huge pile of things I just do not feel like dealing with right now.
There's plenty of angst to be had about my lack of personal development, but.
I'm still not entirely sure if I want to change or not. (I'm pretty damn twisted for even being willing to do this to myself again...)
But you'll notice the near-lack of that in this entry! See? I'm getting better at this!