"i'll buy you whatever you want."
too bad the only thing i want can't be bought. :/
i'm extremely pissy right now. plus i read a random deadjournal that really just annoyed me beyond belief. thus causing me to be more pissy. makes me wonder how people perceive me through my journal. anyways, i spent today crying on my couch because of my inability to give birth to my son. and i get pissed when my mom's like "are you mad at the baby? don't be mad at him." i'm not mad at him. he was trying. it was MY goddamned cervix that wouldn't dialate. and then we know there was more the doctor could've done. there's something they can put to make me dialate. and when he talked to us before we left he was like "i didn't think it was time anyways." WELL THEN WHY THE FUCK DID WE GO THROUGH WITH THE INDUCTION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WASTE OUR TIME??? fucking asshole. and then jessica and dan are like "you need to go walking. you need to go walking." what will that do? i had hard contractions pushing the baby to put pressure on my cervix for 5 fucking hours yesterday and that didn't do a fucking thing and yet somehow walking should help. in what way? all that accomplishes is having the baby put pressure on my cervix which clearly didn't work yesterday. geez. think before you talk. and piss me off. it's just the most frustrating thing. i should already have brodey. i should be holding him right now. but i'm not. because he's in my uterus.
i'm extremely pissy right now. plus i read a random deadjournal that really just annoyed me beyond belief. thus causing me to be more pissy. makes me wonder how people perceive me through my journal. anyways, i spent today crying on my couch because of my inability to give birth to my son. and i get pissed when my mom's like "are you mad at the baby? don't be mad at him." i'm not mad at him. he was trying. it was MY goddamned cervix that wouldn't dialate. and then we know there was more the doctor could've done. there's something they can put to make me dialate. and when he talked to us before we left he was like "i didn't think it was time anyways." WELL THEN WHY THE FUCK DID WE GO THROUGH WITH THE INDUCTION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WASTE OUR TIME??? fucking asshole. and then jessica and dan are like "you need to go walking. you need to go walking." what will that do? i had hard contractions pushing the baby to put pressure on my cervix for 5 fucking hours yesterday and that didn't do a fucking thing and yet somehow walking should help. in what way? all that accomplishes is having the baby put pressure on my cervix which clearly didn't work yesterday. geez. think before you talk. and piss me off. it's just the most frustrating thing. i should already have brodey. i should be holding him right now. but i'm not. because he's in my uterus.