what the hell is wrong with me?
holy fucking jesus christ. i started contracting at 3 this morning. and i had them every 5-7 minutes apart. so i wait this time because after last time i didn't want another false alarm. at 8:30 my mom had me go to labor and delivery. i wasn't dialated any more than i was when i went to the doctor on tuesday. so they waited 2 hours. i had more contractions. but still didn't dialate. so then the doctor gave me the option to either go home or get induced. hell yeah i was going for being induced. i got hooked up to the pitocin around 11:30ish after being stuck 4 times to try to get the IV in my arms/hand. now i have this huge thing on my right arm and my left hand (where the IV stayed all day) bled like fuck. so i had even worse contractions with the pitocin being pumped into me. should've been enough to push the baby to the point of having him. but you know what? it didn't. 5 hours on pitocin and hard contractions and lots of pressure on my cervix and i still wasn't dialating. and if they were to keep it up, the baby would need to get out but without my cervix dialating i'd have to have a c section. so it was time to shut off the pitocin and come home. after he and the nurse explained why everything was happening the way it was, i just burst into tears. i really thought this was it. i should've been in hard labor for a while now. i should be close to delivering my son right now. and yet here i sit. in front of this goddamned computer.
dan was mad because we didn't call him till i was about to be induced but i think we were just being considerate and letting him sleep. and i really thought there was no way this could fall through so i called alyssa and the bizzle again. and now there shall be no brodey. stubborn ass baby. he gets it from his daddy. after they turned off the pitocin and i was heartbroken dan moved a chair next to my bed and just sat with me until it was time for us to go.
i've never been so close to getting everything i wanted and then having it all taken away. damned tim martin. (my doctor) and damned cervix of death.
well, i haven't slept in over 24 hours so the ambien they gave me should be kicking in any time now.
dan was mad because we didn't call him till i was about to be induced but i think we were just being considerate and letting him sleep. and i really thought there was no way this could fall through so i called alyssa and the bizzle again. and now there shall be no brodey. stubborn ass baby. he gets it from his daddy. after they turned off the pitocin and i was heartbroken dan moved a chair next to my bed and just sat with me until it was time for us to go.
i've never been so close to getting everything i wanted and then having it all taken away. damned tim martin. (my doctor) and damned cervix of death.
well, i haven't slept in over 24 hours so the ambien they gave me should be kicking in any time now.