I told him to give me the oar, damn it!
If I were to tell you three things, two of them would most certainly be ridiculous nonsensical and just a little bit useful. But the third thing, ohhh man, the third thing would blow your mind straight out of the floor and into the kitchen sink (yes it's included this time). Just don't betray me, for I am skilled in the ways of the wooden knife slash letter opener.
Here's a fun fact: Did you know? Tiny asteroids cause more traffic accidents every four years than large birds cause small boating accidents every ten years. How's THAT for a slap in the face. If I were to have a daughter I would name her Peculia, after the once great Emperoress Peculiar IV (She died in a small boating accident caused by a large bird).
And now ladies and women, I have a special treat for you. The very first conversation I had with a half-eaten shrimp. Obviously you can't understand shrimpish, and I'm far too lazy to translate it into english for your viewing pleasure, so here's my side of the conversation, as told to you by a bald old lady with a spatula and a rare spitting disease:
Oh hi there, I didn't see you walk in, take a seat. Not there, it's full of broken glass. Anyway, what brings you around these parts? I wouldn't recommend sitting there, either...has a bad habit of being bombarded by tiny asteroids. Oh I see, your name is also not John. Well at least we have something in common! What's that you say? So that's it...the secret of the universe. Hmm, I never would've guessed the part about the giant rice ball. What? No...I'm not married...no...I don't have shrimp genitalia.
It pretty much ends after that...something about a morbidly obese gymnist and a slighlty less-than-lethal dose of dish-washing detergent. Until next time minna san, take care and beware and share and don't care and watch out for that bear! Oh wait it's only a pear...what a scare, I swear. o_o
Very supersticious....writings on the wall.
Here's a fun fact: Did you know? Tiny asteroids cause more traffic accidents every four years than large birds cause small boating accidents every ten years. How's THAT for a slap in the face. If I were to have a daughter I would name her Peculia, after the once great Emperoress Peculiar IV (She died in a small boating accident caused by a large bird).
And now ladies and women, I have a special treat for you. The very first conversation I had with a half-eaten shrimp. Obviously you can't understand shrimpish, and I'm far too lazy to translate it into english for your viewing pleasure, so here's my side of the conversation, as told to you by a bald old lady with a spatula and a rare spitting disease:
Oh hi there, I didn't see you walk in, take a seat. Not there, it's full of broken glass. Anyway, what brings you around these parts? I wouldn't recommend sitting there, either...has a bad habit of being bombarded by tiny asteroids. Oh I see, your name is also not John. Well at least we have something in common! What's that you say? So that's it...the secret of the universe. Hmm, I never would've guessed the part about the giant rice ball. What? No...I'm not married...no...I don't have shrimp genitalia.
It pretty much ends after that...something about a morbidly obese gymnist and a slighlty less-than-lethal dose of dish-washing detergent. Until next time minna san, take care and beware and share and don't care and watch out for that bear! Oh wait it's only a pear...what a scare, I swear. o_o
Very supersticious....writings on the wall.