The Biggest Nerd
I wrote a rap for my D&D campaign. Our name is the Grey Guild. I am the biggest nerd ever.
I’m going to tell you about my boys from out of town
If you heard about those monsters that got killed,
It was probably my boys from the Grey Guild
They deadly and fresh, so you better respect,
‘cause I have a lot to say, so you better not interject
Joha Keeps the name, you better remember it son
Cause when I’m stabbing you in the night, you gonna be done
I feisty and gorgeous and what’s worse is I know it
We all work for Yuri but I’m the fanatic one
Fiden, the golem jock, ain’t got muscles but he’s harder than rock.
He’ll firebolt your ass then use lance of disruption
Best be on your best behavior, he doesn’t stand for interruption
Thorst is the boss man sword master
He will cut you up then go get plastered
He had some sweet ass armor that fucked him up
His sweet lute jams will make you raise your cup!
My blood boy, Fist, he’ll knock you down with style
He’ll boil your blood and his crown will beguile
Sanctuary Hellhound, boy you better respect
Cause when he’s done with you, you’ll need a resurrect
Joel, the Lord, completely useless with a sword,
But mind his gun, son, cause he goes overboard
What he lacks in skills he makes up for in years
And if you shank his ass he’ll put you in tears
Drak’thul, crude and lewd, worships a giant spider
With a face like that, he’ll always be the outsider
He’s big and mean, and when he opens his mouth, obscene!
He claims he’s a cow, but we know he’s an ass
Sir Victus is a cool dude with a hot head
His memories messed up like his brain went dead
He is Yuri’s lieutenant with muscles of steel
He does his job like a boss and he fights with zeal
Last we have our druid dude, name of Boneclaw
Can slash you open with water like a buzz saw
He’s got leadership skills, if only we would listen
I boned him once for a dagger, now I have a condition
Joha, Joha, more deadly than a boa
My words coming out so fast they give you the creeps
My tongue’s so sharp it will make your heart weep
Cause when I drop the mic’, Man, I do it for Keeps
I’m going to tell you about my boys from out of town
If you heard about those monsters that got killed,
It was probably my boys from the Grey Guild
They deadly and fresh, so you better respect,
‘cause I have a lot to say, so you better not interject
Joha Keeps the name, you better remember it son
Cause when I’m stabbing you in the night, you gonna be done
I feisty and gorgeous and what’s worse is I know it
We all work for Yuri but I’m the fanatic one
Fiden, the golem jock, ain’t got muscles but he’s harder than rock.
He’ll firebolt your ass then use lance of disruption
Best be on your best behavior, he doesn’t stand for interruption
Thorst is the boss man sword master
He will cut you up then go get plastered
He had some sweet ass armor that fucked him up
His sweet lute jams will make you raise your cup!
My blood boy, Fist, he’ll knock you down with style
He’ll boil your blood and his crown will beguile
Sanctuary Hellhound, boy you better respect
Cause when he’s done with you, you’ll need a resurrect
Joel, the Lord, completely useless with a sword,
But mind his gun, son, cause he goes overboard
What he lacks in skills he makes up for in years
And if you shank his ass he’ll put you in tears
Drak’thul, crude and lewd, worships a giant spider
With a face like that, he’ll always be the outsider
He’s big and mean, and when he opens his mouth, obscene!
He claims he’s a cow, but we know he’s an ass
Sir Victus is a cool dude with a hot head
His memories messed up like his brain went dead
He is Yuri’s lieutenant with muscles of steel
He does his job like a boss and he fights with zeal
Last we have our druid dude, name of Boneclaw
Can slash you open with water like a buzz saw
He’s got leadership skills, if only we would listen
I boned him once for a dagger, now I have a condition
Joha, Joha, more deadly than a boa
My words coming out so fast they give you the creeps
My tongue’s so sharp it will make your heart weep
Cause when I drop the mic’, Man, I do it for Keeps