the party has ended...
i have come to realise that i suck at goodbyes.
there are people in this world who have the talent in holding farewell parties that rock your socks off. they have long drawn out parting that are emotional and beautiful. they have the right words. the many right words, some have millions. the nuances are perfect and there is a dramatic pause. people watching are moved. tears just flow. and the world is made a better place.
me - i can't do it. when i even think about the whole situation, i have to stop. because i can't bear it. i can't do it. it's impossible for me. i just... well, maybe i just don't have the heart to.
in a few weeks, another of my friends will leave to further his studies. in a far off land that, whilst not altogether impossible to reach, will mean he no longer features regularly in my life as he does now. his interaction with me will be cooled by technology. the pseudo affection that the internet and telephone offers. there will be a time difference. a factor that will drive us all nuts, because now should be now for everyone. and we should stand at the present and look to the future. it shouldn't be a measure of distance.
but it is.
over time, i have grown close to this friend. he is someone i admire for his depth of thought and sheer intelligence. he is a person who views the world so differently from i, and yet... we are close. and we understand each other. someone once asked me, what makes the two of us such good friends. and there were no words in response. because nothing holds us together and yet everything does. we have grown used to each other's faces. no, there hasn't been a long friendship. but since when has that mattered? ours is a friendship of quiet moments, shared looks and talks about nothing. but that connection builds on itself.
and now we put the inevitable at the back of our minds. this insane ravine that we will cross eventually.
so... he's leaving. not permanently. for there is the promise of a return. but three years. who knows what could happen.
for now i will hold my goodbyes. quell my tired heart and watch the sun go down on the horizon day by day. as it always has. and trust that we'll meet again. someday. and continue where we left off. it'll be like we were never apart. as two friends who have been and always will be. like calvin and hobbes, you know? i imagine it will be alright. i guess. i hope. i pray.
talk to me again at the actual parting. i might tell you a different story. for now, this will have to do.
DuaGu
"So long..."