State of the Aster, more or less
I keep writing in little bits and fragments and not putting them anywhere, and now I'm realizing it's been a while since this journal got any substantive updates. So here, here's things in my life.
Job
I keep meaning to update about the job, since I know my first day post was kind of overwhelmed. The job is good, but I don't entirely feel like I have my feet under me enough to say how it's going. Almost every day has introduced new things, it's really hard to believe it's been almost a month already. Generally, I love being employed. Vacations are great, but unemployment just doesn't sit right with me. I like working. It's been a tremendous improvement in my mood and outlook to have a job again. I'm really liking the university environment, it seems like a great place to work. My coworkers are are nice and fun people, and they all seem happy to be here.
I don't know if I've explained about the boss situation; I work for the Dean of Academic Affairs, but it's a rotating deanship, and it's going to to rotate to someone else in July. The someone else, the incoming Dean, is the woman I interviewed with who sold me on this as a great job for me, so I'm looking forward to working with her. Basically, I have a starter boss and I'll be managing and keeping continuity through the transition to a long term boss. It's neat, actually, and the starter boss is getting me up to speed, but things won't settle down at all, I won't know what the job is going to be like for real until later in the summer.
Knee
I can walk down stairs! Normally, with bending both legs! This is one of the last big milestones in rehab. At seven and a half months post-op this is pretty well on track. It still hurts, the flexing with all my weight on the one leg, but that's because my patellar tendon just isn't used to it. But oh wow it is so much more convenient that there's no chance I will baby myself about it. I did not realized how much I had missed going down stairs correctly.
Getting my quads back to the same size will be the last thing to check off the rehab list. I still have most of an inch to go. After that it'll be about waiting for the inflammation and pain to fade, which should happen pretty quickly once the muscles are fully working and the tendons get used to full weight bearing. Hopefully only a couple months away from a fully functional knee.
Climbing
I'm still climbing 2-3 times a week with my friend Jason, and loving it. It's great exercise and I'm sure that's a big part of what's helping my knee progress. I returned the shoes that didn't quite work for me and have finally found a pair I love. I probably won't even try to get outside the gym until this fall, but it feels great to have a hobby that challenges me and offers so much potential for growth.
Teeth
My daily experience right now is somewhat colored by constant facepain from the wisdom teeth coming in. March was a month of dental debacles, which included getting stood up on having the wisdom teeth removed. I'm having them out (hopefully for real) next Friday. I cannot wait, and friends, consider what it means that I cannot wait to have someone cut into my jaw and rip some teeth out. It means Ow.
Big picture, grad school and future things
I am still excited about the prospect of going back to school for free. Now I'm starting to get into the specifics and it's a whole project, not just a wacky fantasy. It is coming right up on the deadlines to apply for graduate programs, but I don't want to wait a year, so I am probably going to scramble on applications. Right now I'm thinking I'll apply to a handful of programs and see what happens. Any free education cannot be too bad a decision, even if it turns out to be a false start.
It's not 100% set, but I'm trying to get it together to make it to OCF this summer. It'll be right after the work transition, so I've been unsure, but summer is supposed to be a very slow time, so it's looking more and more possible that I can get the time off and make some west coast happen. I'm starting to let myself get excited about the idea.
Life is good. I am mostly really happy right now. Mothers' day coming up isn't easy. It's painful how much I would like to talk to mom about this job and school and everything. And about her life and... Grief is still part of what I'm doing, but it's a small part of a good life.
The west coast still calls to me, moving is still something Tyler and I talk about, but lately it's feeling less urgent. Tyler is finishing his MLS soon. Finals and then one more summer session class and then that's it. I think we'll both start keeping an eye out for awesome jobs on the west coast then, but probably not shifting into full-on Must Move ASAP mode. There's every chance Tyler will get moved up in his current job once he has the degree, and he'd want to stick with that for a bit, for resume's sake if nothing else. And I'm... I'm feeling okay with the idea of being here for a bit. Not forever, but a couple years here to get good at this job, maybe nail down a a graduate degree, that doesn't seem like too daunting a commitment right now. Ask me again in August, but I'm content now.
I've been happy since we moved. Baltimore seems luminous in the spring. There's fun art and music everywhere, and far too many restaurants an easy walk from our apartment. I've reconnected with some friends from Derby and some of Tyler's longtime friends, and it feels good. Our apartment is beautiful and fits us perfectly. Tyler is getting involved with the community garden and we're starting to meet and befriend some of the neighbors. I'm going to get my bike moved up here, finally, this weekend. I'm really loving living here.
Job
I keep meaning to update about the job, since I know my first day post was kind of overwhelmed. The job is good, but I don't entirely feel like I have my feet under me enough to say how it's going. Almost every day has introduced new things, it's really hard to believe it's been almost a month already. Generally, I love being employed. Vacations are great, but unemployment just doesn't sit right with me. I like working. It's been a tremendous improvement in my mood and outlook to have a job again. I'm really liking the university environment, it seems like a great place to work. My coworkers are are nice and fun people, and they all seem happy to be here.
I don't know if I've explained about the boss situation; I work for the Dean of Academic Affairs, but it's a rotating deanship, and it's going to to rotate to someone else in July. The someone else, the incoming Dean, is the woman I interviewed with who sold me on this as a great job for me, so I'm looking forward to working with her. Basically, I have a starter boss and I'll be managing and keeping continuity through the transition to a long term boss. It's neat, actually, and the starter boss is getting me up to speed, but things won't settle down at all, I won't know what the job is going to be like for real until later in the summer.
Knee
I can walk down stairs! Normally, with bending both legs! This is one of the last big milestones in rehab. At seven and a half months post-op this is pretty well on track. It still hurts, the flexing with all my weight on the one leg, but that's because my patellar tendon just isn't used to it. But oh wow it is so much more convenient that there's no chance I will baby myself about it. I did not realized how much I had missed going down stairs correctly.
Getting my quads back to the same size will be the last thing to check off the rehab list. I still have most of an inch to go. After that it'll be about waiting for the inflammation and pain to fade, which should happen pretty quickly once the muscles are fully working and the tendons get used to full weight bearing. Hopefully only a couple months away from a fully functional knee.
Climbing
I'm still climbing 2-3 times a week with my friend Jason, and loving it. It's great exercise and I'm sure that's a big part of what's helping my knee progress. I returned the shoes that didn't quite work for me and have finally found a pair I love. I probably won't even try to get outside the gym until this fall, but it feels great to have a hobby that challenges me and offers so much potential for growth.
Teeth
My daily experience right now is somewhat colored by constant facepain from the wisdom teeth coming in. March was a month of dental debacles, which included getting stood up on having the wisdom teeth removed. I'm having them out (hopefully for real) next Friday. I cannot wait, and friends, consider what it means that I cannot wait to have someone cut into my jaw and rip some teeth out. It means Ow.
Big picture, grad school and future things
I am still excited about the prospect of going back to school for free. Now I'm starting to get into the specifics and it's a whole project, not just a wacky fantasy. It is coming right up on the deadlines to apply for graduate programs, but I don't want to wait a year, so I am probably going to scramble on applications. Right now I'm thinking I'll apply to a handful of programs and see what happens. Any free education cannot be too bad a decision, even if it turns out to be a false start.
It's not 100% set, but I'm trying to get it together to make it to OCF this summer. It'll be right after the work transition, so I've been unsure, but summer is supposed to be a very slow time, so it's looking more and more possible that I can get the time off and make some west coast happen. I'm starting to let myself get excited about the idea.
Life is good. I am mostly really happy right now. Mothers' day coming up isn't easy. It's painful how much I would like to talk to mom about this job and school and everything. And about her life and... Grief is still part of what I'm doing, but it's a small part of a good life.
The west coast still calls to me, moving is still something Tyler and I talk about, but lately it's feeling less urgent. Tyler is finishing his MLS soon. Finals and then one more summer session class and then that's it. I think we'll both start keeping an eye out for awesome jobs on the west coast then, but probably not shifting into full-on Must Move ASAP mode. There's every chance Tyler will get moved up in his current job once he has the degree, and he'd want to stick with that for a bit, for resume's sake if nothing else. And I'm... I'm feeling okay with the idea of being here for a bit. Not forever, but a couple years here to get good at this job, maybe nail down a a graduate degree, that doesn't seem like too daunting a commitment right now. Ask me again in August, but I'm content now.
I've been happy since we moved. Baltimore seems luminous in the spring. There's fun art and music everywhere, and far too many restaurants an easy walk from our apartment. I've reconnected with some friends from Derby and some of Tyler's longtime friends, and it feels good. Our apartment is beautiful and fits us perfectly. Tyler is getting involved with the community garden and we're starting to meet and befriend some of the neighbors. I'm going to get my bike moved up here, finally, this weekend. I'm really loving living here.