Goals and resolutions for 2011
Roughly in order from concrete actions to more general mindset tweaks:
- Listen to my voicemails immediately.
- Own less stuff.
- Make books a bigger part of my life.
- Take better care of myself and my body, get stronger.
- Forget about losing weight.
- Be a little more willing to get out of the house.
- Avoid depression.
At more length:
Listen to my voicemails immediately.
I'm really bad about this, but I'm going to get better. I'm going to keep my voicemail inbox clean so it doesn't intimidate me into thinking it's a big chore. So leave me voicemails - I'll listen to them the same day. I'm not promising I'll be better about calling back, but y'know, baby steps.
Starting today - I listened to all the voicemails in the box and I'm going to delete the old ones. (Well, not the ones from my mom, but that's a different thing.)
Own less stuff.
This time next year I want less physical clutter than I have now. I will buy less stuff and give away or pass on things that I have. Fewer nick nacks. Fewer pairs of shoes. (Ladies with size 9.5-10ish feet, please let me know who you are.) Less half-used bath products and bottles of lotion. Less of whatever is in the closet that we're not using at all. I'm going to be very mindful of not buying anything unless it replaces something else or frees up space. I'm also going to make a regular project of throwing things out or giving things away.
Starting today - when I post this I'm going to take my tea and some music and take a whack at my scary bedroom closet. I'm going to take a trashbag with me.
Make books a bigger part of my life.
I read on the metro, and I want to be more intentional about that. Get books I'm excited about instead of whatever's handy as I'm running out the door. Take chances on new books instead of rereading things I know I like. Read books with people, so we can talk about them. Read books worth talking about. If anyone wants to do an informal book club or just read a book together, hit me up.
Starting today - well, right now I'm rereading Dune (it's still fantastic) so nothing on this front today, but for after that, I have Year of The Flood, and Heather's been waiting for me to finish that so we can talk about it.
Take better care of myself and my body, get stronger.
Eat with health in mind. Do some token number of push ups and crunches every single day. Make a point to exercise beyond that. Stretch, even when I'm not exercising. Plan for sleep. Make time for relaxation. Take opportunities to be physically active. Push myself in healthy ways, stop stressing myself in unhealthy ways.
Starting today - I feel like complete crap and can't breathe through my nose, so the elliptical and bikerides are out, but I can still do 10 pushups and 25 crunches. Just so I have done something.
Forget about losing weight.
Today I'm about as heavy as I've been in my life. I think that speaks, in part, to some not-so-healthy choices, but honestly, it doesn't look bad.
This is a surprise to me, I've been beating myself up, but I've looked in the mirror a bit lately and Iactually like what I'm seeing. So I'm going to run with that and strive for health than beat myself up for vanity's sake. Usually I view resolutions as sort of passive guiding principles, but I think I want to be pretty active about this one. I'm going to consciously avoid saying negative things about my weight and fat in 2011, I'm going to correct myself if I slip on that. I'm going to make choices about food and excercise based on how I want to feel, not how I want to look. My guess is that will lead to some weight loss, but if not, that's cool. If this is what my healthy body looks like, that is not a bad deal. I'm going to buy things that fit, not wait for 5 or 10 pounds from now. If it gets to be december and I've put on a bunch of weight, then I'll reevaluate for 2012, but for this year, fuck that noise.
Starting today - I'm having honey in my tea, because it's good for my throat. No other baggage there.
Be a little more willing to get out of the house.
Thing is, I like my apartment and I like my Tyler, so I spend a lot of time home. And I'd like to get out a little more, especially on my own. My husband is fantastic and I enjoy his company a lot, but my other friendships could use some attention. Also, I know there are times when Tyler goes out to make me happy, and I should stop asking him to do that and start just doing stuff myself. We'll see how this works out in practice, but it's definitely something I want to keep in mind. Doing stuff. It's good for me.
Starting today - I'm looking up museum exhibits I want to see after work sometimes.
Avoid depression.
I thought I'd have more to say about how I want to deal with my mom's death, but resolve doesn't really feel the the right approach. What am I going to say? 'I resolve to throw mom a kick-ass memorial' 'I resolve to work through all my issues and never cry again' Not so much, really. I'm going to do things however seems to work, and that will probably change a lot.
But where resolve does seem appropriate is in the way I deal with the rest of my emotions. I have depressive tendacies, and I know I need to keep an eye on them right now. I can't let being sad about my mom dying slide into just being sad all the time. I can't give myself excuses. I won't let it happen. A lot of the above resolutions are in support of this goal, but I might as well make it explicit. I won't let myself get depressed this year. I will keep healthy and active. I will be pro-active about it. I will take things my friends and family say about my mood and behavior seriously. I'll go to therapy if it seems like it will help. I'm going to be okay, come hell or high water.
Starting today - I'm writing this.
I moved the post from the day mom died off the top of my journal. Maybe as part of some new year symbolism, maybe so I can come to this page without crying every time. Maybe some of both. I'm torn between wanting to put reminders of her everywhere and needing to be able to function without the pain that reminders bring. I don't imagine that will ever resolve completely, but it seems like an appropriate dilemma: I can live with it.
- Listen to my voicemails immediately.
- Own less stuff.
- Make books a bigger part of my life.
- Take better care of myself and my body, get stronger.
- Forget about losing weight.
- Be a little more willing to get out of the house.
- Avoid depression.
At more length:
Listen to my voicemails immediately.
I'm really bad about this, but I'm going to get better. I'm going to keep my voicemail inbox clean so it doesn't intimidate me into thinking it's a big chore. So leave me voicemails - I'll listen to them the same day. I'm not promising I'll be better about calling back, but y'know, baby steps.
Starting today - I listened to all the voicemails in the box and I'm going to delete the old ones. (Well, not the ones from my mom, but that's a different thing.)
Own less stuff.
This time next year I want less physical clutter than I have now. I will buy less stuff and give away or pass on things that I have. Fewer nick nacks. Fewer pairs of shoes. (Ladies with size 9.5-10ish feet, please let me know who you are.) Less half-used bath products and bottles of lotion. Less of whatever is in the closet that we're not using at all. I'm going to be very mindful of not buying anything unless it replaces something else or frees up space. I'm also going to make a regular project of throwing things out or giving things away.
Starting today - when I post this I'm going to take my tea and some music and take a whack at my scary bedroom closet. I'm going to take a trashbag with me.
Make books a bigger part of my life.
I read on the metro, and I want to be more intentional about that. Get books I'm excited about instead of whatever's handy as I'm running out the door. Take chances on new books instead of rereading things I know I like. Read books with people, so we can talk about them. Read books worth talking about. If anyone wants to do an informal book club or just read a book together, hit me up.
Starting today - well, right now I'm rereading Dune (it's still fantastic) so nothing on this front today, but for after that, I have Year of The Flood, and Heather's been waiting for me to finish that so we can talk about it.
Take better care of myself and my body, get stronger.
Eat with health in mind. Do some token number of push ups and crunches every single day. Make a point to exercise beyond that. Stretch, even when I'm not exercising. Plan for sleep. Make time for relaxation. Take opportunities to be physically active. Push myself in healthy ways, stop stressing myself in unhealthy ways.
Starting today - I feel like complete crap and can't breathe through my nose, so the elliptical and bikerides are out, but I can still do 10 pushups and 25 crunches. Just so I have done something.
Forget about losing weight.
Today I'm about as heavy as I've been in my life. I think that speaks, in part, to some not-so-healthy choices, but honestly, it doesn't look bad.
This is a surprise to me, I've been beating myself up, but I've looked in the mirror a bit lately and Iactually like what I'm seeing. So I'm going to run with that and strive for health than beat myself up for vanity's sake. Usually I view resolutions as sort of passive guiding principles, but I think I want to be pretty active about this one. I'm going to consciously avoid saying negative things about my weight and fat in 2011, I'm going to correct myself if I slip on that. I'm going to make choices about food and excercise based on how I want to feel, not how I want to look. My guess is that will lead to some weight loss, but if not, that's cool. If this is what my healthy body looks like, that is not a bad deal. I'm going to buy things that fit, not wait for 5 or 10 pounds from now. If it gets to be december and I've put on a bunch of weight, then I'll reevaluate for 2012, but for this year, fuck that noise.
Starting today - I'm having honey in my tea, because it's good for my throat. No other baggage there.
Be a little more willing to get out of the house.
Thing is, I like my apartment and I like my Tyler, so I spend a lot of time home. And I'd like to get out a little more, especially on my own. My husband is fantastic and I enjoy his company a lot, but my other friendships could use some attention. Also, I know there are times when Tyler goes out to make me happy, and I should stop asking him to do that and start just doing stuff myself. We'll see how this works out in practice, but it's definitely something I want to keep in mind. Doing stuff. It's good for me.
Starting today - I'm looking up museum exhibits I want to see after work sometimes.
Avoid depression.
I thought I'd have more to say about how I want to deal with my mom's death, but resolve doesn't really feel the the right approach. What am I going to say? 'I resolve to throw mom a kick-ass memorial' 'I resolve to work through all my issues and never cry again' Not so much, really. I'm going to do things however seems to work, and that will probably change a lot.
But where resolve does seem appropriate is in the way I deal with the rest of my emotions. I have depressive tendacies, and I know I need to keep an eye on them right now. I can't let being sad about my mom dying slide into just being sad all the time. I can't give myself excuses. I won't let it happen. A lot of the above resolutions are in support of this goal, but I might as well make it explicit. I won't let myself get depressed this year. I will keep healthy and active. I will be pro-active about it. I will take things my friends and family say about my mood and behavior seriously. I'll go to therapy if it seems like it will help. I'm going to be okay, come hell or high water.
Starting today - I'm writing this.
I moved the post from the day mom died off the top of my journal. Maybe as part of some new year symbolism, maybe so I can come to this page without crying every time. Maybe some of both. I'm torn between wanting to put reminders of her everywhere and needing to be able to function without the pain that reminders bring. I don't imagine that will ever resolve completely, but it seems like an appropriate dilemma: I can live with it.