The Saga of the New TV
And now, the Mad Theater Presents...
The Saga of the New TV! In Sensurround!
Behold, a Mad Girl! Her devices are no longer equal to her needs! And so she ventured forth among hostiles and imbeciles to procure for her Mad Domicile...a new TV! But alas! Yonder box was far too large for conveyance in her modest equipage! She pled to her Lovely Roommate, "Verily I say to you...canst thou carry mine appliance in yon Baja?" And yea, the Lovely Roommate doth agree.
And so, with the heavens threatening to open above them, the Lovely Roommate and the Mad Girl set forth from the Mad Domicile. "But soft!" the Lovely Roommate cried. "For great is my hunger! Surely we mayst partake of sustenance!" And the Mad Girl agreed. "Carry us hence to yon Red Lobster, where we shall feast upon the biscuits and shrimpy things."
And it was so. And the shrimpy things were good.
Then the Lovely Roommate beseeched the Mad Girl: can we not spare but a few moments for perusal of the vestments available for purchase, only a few furlongs hence? For great is my need for drapings; soon I shall journey far for ceremonial purposes, and I shall require the Drapings of Honor! The Mad Girl, casting an anxious eye to approaching stormclouds, agreed. Surely, the time will allow for safe and dry conveyance of the new appliance, even with the perusal of vestments. Perhaps there will be vestments for the Mad Girl, as well!
And yet, after the procurement of the Drapings of Honor, it became necessary to sample confections of the chocolate variety. And thenceforth to further perusal of vestments from yon alternate vendor. The Mad Girl strained her ears for the sound of thunder...but perhaps they would yet prevail. Surely the gods would not look with ill favor upon the journey of the New TV!
But what ho! As our heroines returned to yon Baja, the skies opened! The water poured forth upon them! Surely, it is unsafe to convey devices of the electronic variety in an open carriage under such torrential conditions!
"I have the solution!" cried the helpful Squire of Electronics. "I shall cloak the cardboard casings in waterproof stretch plastics! Let the rain do its worst, thy TV will be safe!"
And so our heroines proceeded hence with TV on board, safely enshrouded.
Upon arrival at the Mad Girl's domicile, the problem arose: how to transfer such imposing heftiness into the interior? Indeed, the task seemed Herculean. But through combined effort of our heroines, and the Fair Maid Nancy, fortuitously arrived, verily the TV reached its destination.
The Mad Girl wrestled with yon attachments. Great were their number, and confounded was she in their proper attachments. For though the Mad Girl had been the grateful recipient of counsel from those more knowledgeable than she, the tangle of peripheral devices seemed to her as hostile as the snakes upon the head of Medusa! Will the Mad Girl never achieve harmony amongst her electronic nemeses?
At last! The connections are made! The devices are empowered! And behold...
The Blue Screen of Death.
The Mad Girl and the Lovely Roommate sat in confusion. Of no use was the documentation meant to guide them. Disaster seemed inevitable. Until the wisdom of the Lovely Roommate restored order:
"Just plug the damned cable right into the TV. Screw the DVD player."
Such alacrity and clarity of thought! And lo, it was done. And the Blue Screen was no more.
For in only a few short days, the Master of Devices shall arrive at the Mad Domicile, and their ingenious villainy will be no match for...the Lovely Roomate-in-Law!
The Saga of the New TV! In Sensurround!
Behold, a Mad Girl! Her devices are no longer equal to her needs! And so she ventured forth among hostiles and imbeciles to procure for her Mad Domicile...a new TV! But alas! Yonder box was far too large for conveyance in her modest equipage! She pled to her Lovely Roommate, "Verily I say to you...canst thou carry mine appliance in yon Baja?" And yea, the Lovely Roommate doth agree.
And so, with the heavens threatening to open above them, the Lovely Roommate and the Mad Girl set forth from the Mad Domicile. "But soft!" the Lovely Roommate cried. "For great is my hunger! Surely we mayst partake of sustenance!" And the Mad Girl agreed. "Carry us hence to yon Red Lobster, where we shall feast upon the biscuits and shrimpy things."
And it was so. And the shrimpy things were good.
Then the Lovely Roommate beseeched the Mad Girl: can we not spare but a few moments for perusal of the vestments available for purchase, only a few furlongs hence? For great is my need for drapings; soon I shall journey far for ceremonial purposes, and I shall require the Drapings of Honor! The Mad Girl, casting an anxious eye to approaching stormclouds, agreed. Surely, the time will allow for safe and dry conveyance of the new appliance, even with the perusal of vestments. Perhaps there will be vestments for the Mad Girl, as well!
And yet, after the procurement of the Drapings of Honor, it became necessary to sample confections of the chocolate variety. And thenceforth to further perusal of vestments from yon alternate vendor. The Mad Girl strained her ears for the sound of thunder...but perhaps they would yet prevail. Surely the gods would not look with ill favor upon the journey of the New TV!
But what ho! As our heroines returned to yon Baja, the skies opened! The water poured forth upon them! Surely, it is unsafe to convey devices of the electronic variety in an open carriage under such torrential conditions!
"I have the solution!" cried the helpful Squire of Electronics. "I shall cloak the cardboard casings in waterproof stretch plastics! Let the rain do its worst, thy TV will be safe!"
And so our heroines proceeded hence with TV on board, safely enshrouded.
Upon arrival at the Mad Girl's domicile, the problem arose: how to transfer such imposing heftiness into the interior? Indeed, the task seemed Herculean. But through combined effort of our heroines, and the Fair Maid Nancy, fortuitously arrived, verily the TV reached its destination.
The Mad Girl wrestled with yon attachments. Great were their number, and confounded was she in their proper attachments. For though the Mad Girl had been the grateful recipient of counsel from those more knowledgeable than she, the tangle of peripheral devices seemed to her as hostile as the snakes upon the head of Medusa! Will the Mad Girl never achieve harmony amongst her electronic nemeses?
At last! The connections are made! The devices are empowered! And behold...
The Blue Screen of Death.
The Mad Girl and the Lovely Roommate sat in confusion. Of no use was the documentation meant to guide them. Disaster seemed inevitable. Until the wisdom of the Lovely Roommate restored order:
"Just plug the damned cable right into the TV. Screw the DVD player."
Such alacrity and clarity of thought! And lo, it was done. And the Blue Screen was no more.
For in only a few short days, the Master of Devices shall arrive at the Mad Domicile, and their ingenious villainy will be no match for...the Lovely Roomate-in-Law!