Missing you.
So in 3 hours, it will be 48 hours since we've had a full conversation. I've talked to so many people about how to deal with what I'm going through and how much it hurts. The fact that I'm now writing in here again only proves how low I'm feeling. The fact that it hasn't even been two days and I already feel like my life is slipping away from me speaks to how much I am attached to you.
I wanted you to be different. I don't know why I chose you to be the one who would change everything for me. Perhaps that was too much pressure to place on you and I'm sorry.
You should know that despite the pressure I put on you, I never meant for you to feel like you had to take care of me or that I expected you to fix all my problems. It was quite the opposite really. I wanted you to let me in, to let me feel close to you so that I could do everything in my power to make you happy.
I feel as though I will carry a torch for you until the end of my life. But you don't need to know that. If you were to ever find someone else, you already know I would do everything in my power to disappear from your life. To walk away. And never come back.
I wish you felt for me the way I feel for you. But I need to be strong. Your friendship means more to me than anything and I hope that one day you and I will be able to be like we once were. However, I fear as though if that were to happen, I would fall in love with you all over again.
Take care, Steve. I love you.
I wanted you to be different. I don't know why I chose you to be the one who would change everything for me. Perhaps that was too much pressure to place on you and I'm sorry.
You should know that despite the pressure I put on you, I never meant for you to feel like you had to take care of me or that I expected you to fix all my problems. It was quite the opposite really. I wanted you to let me in, to let me feel close to you so that I could do everything in my power to make you happy.
I feel as though I will carry a torch for you until the end of my life. But you don't need to know that. If you were to ever find someone else, you already know I would do everything in my power to disappear from your life. To walk away. And never come back.
I wish you felt for me the way I feel for you. But I need to be strong. Your friendship means more to me than anything and I hope that one day you and I will be able to be like we once were. However, I fear as though if that were to happen, I would fall in love with you all over again.
Take care, Steve. I love you.