Invasive manipulation by Fay Reynolds
For so many years of our marriage, you sought to get your way whilst hiding behind a small blond female persona. Indeed, you slowly but surely destroyed my self-confidence and belief in myself. I was in a constant state of tenseness, spilling over into anxiety and panic on a regular. What you labelled as my "bad behaviour" etc was anxiety & panic attacks brought on by your constant put-downs and misrepresentations of me. You had me believing that I was no good. The legacy of that rises sometimes, but I am largely free of your mischief.
I still wonder at times why it was so important to me to have you believe me, let alone believe in me. You made that area a target of choice for manipulation and attack. And try as I might, you brought your spin & anger to the fore in front of our sons. I hated that. You knew that. And you did it all the more. You must have thought our sons would feel sorry for you or the like - but all it did was confuse them badly, upset them, and dislike me. The last would satisfy you. You didn't have to face up to yourself as you placed me there instead.
Some months back, one our sons said that you had changed so much (in what you do, etc) that he couldn't relate that to the you he knew for so long. As for me, he said that I had been reasonably consistent, just a bit older.
to be continued
I still wonder at times why it was so important to me to have you believe me, let alone believe in me. You made that area a target of choice for manipulation and attack. And try as I might, you brought your spin & anger to the fore in front of our sons. I hated that. You knew that. And you did it all the more. You must have thought our sons would feel sorry for you or the like - but all it did was confuse them badly, upset them, and dislike me. The last would satisfy you. You didn't have to face up to yourself as you placed me there instead.
Some months back, one our sons said that you had changed so much (in what you do, etc) that he couldn't relate that to the you he knew for so long. As for me, he said that I had been reasonably consistent, just a bit older.
to be continued